Four candles

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The Four Candles sketch, originally titled The Hardware Shop is a sketch from the BBC comedy Two Ronnies. Written by Ronnie Barker under the pseudonym of Gerald Wiley. It was first broadcast on Saturday, September 4, 1976 on BBC1. The gags hinge on wordplay, in this case homophones, which exhibit Barker's fascination with this subject that he cleverly exploited to powerful comic effect in much of his writing. It features a shopkeeper, played by Ronnie Corbett, in a hardware shop becoming increasingly frustrated by a customer, played by Barker, because he continuously misunderstands what he is requesting. It was voted the greatest ever Two Ronnies sketch by the British public.

[edit] The Plot

In this sketch a Hardware shopkeeper (Corbett) is confronted by a customer (Barker) clutching a shopping list. The customer appears to ask for four candles. The shopkeeper compiles but customer merely repeats his request leaving shopkeeper confused. The customer rephrases his request to reveal he in fact wanted fork handles.

He then asks for plugs. To try and avoid a similar mistake the shopkeeper asks what kind and is told "a rubber one, bathroom". Beliving that he is asking for bath plugs the shopkeeper gets out a box of them and asks for the size. By asking for "13 amp" it is revealed he in fact wants an insulated electric plug.

He next asks for saw tips. Confused the shopkeeper asks if he want ointment. After a better explanation the shopkeeper explains they don't have any. This causes little to no frustration.

He then asks for Os for a garden gate. This item cause the most frustration with the shopkeeper bringing a hoe, a hose and pantyhose to the counter before before working out what he wanted. The box of garden gate letters is noticeably difficult to get to and put back, requiring a ladder.

When he asks for tins of peas the shopkeeper, beliving him to be asking for Ps for a garden gate, is understandably annoyed as they are in the box he hads just put back. The customer waits for him to get the box down before better explaining what he wants. At this point the shopkeeper first suspects it may be a joke.

He then asks for Plimsoll shoes, refering to them as "pumps" the shopkeeper asks him to elaborate. The customer complies by asking for "foot pumps". The shopkeeper brings a pneumatic pump to the counter. The customer then reveals he wants "brown pumps size 9". At this piont the shopkeeper becomes convinced that the customer is playing a practical joke on him.

After he asks for washers the shopkeeper, out of desperation and annoyance recites a long list as to what this could mean. The customer then explains he want tap washers.

At this point the shopkeeper, having had enough, snatches the list, reads it himself and seems to take offence at something there. He decides he cannot tolerate the customer any longer and calls his assistant from the back to complete the order. The audience later infers that the shopkeeper misread Bill Hooks beliving it said bollocks.

[edit] Variation

Barker later re-wrote the ending of the sketch, citing the reason as dissatisfaction with the obscurity and coarseness of the bill-hooks reference. He revealed in the last episode of the "Two Ronnies Sketchbook" BBC series in 2005 that, instead of another male shop assistant coming out and replacing Corbett, a large lady would come out and say "Right then young man, what kind of knockers are you after?" The revelation on the "Sketchbook" got as big a laugh as the sketch itself.

This sketch is the most remembered and requested that the duo performed in their history. This popularity is arguably due to the audience being able to easily connect with the exasperation of the shopkeeper failing to correctly deduce what the simpleton means, whilst being able to appreciate the excellent wordplay in the script.

[edit] Oddities

• Corbett mutters to himself throughout the sketch while searching for the various items. It is unclear if the muttering was scripted or an adlib by Corbett to give a better impression of realism.
• The shopkeeper mentions a one point he is on his own for the day. This however does not tally with a colleague coming out to assist him at the end of the sketch.
• Nothing appears to be done about the tap washers the customer asks for.