Horsie Yaramatsu
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Horsie Yaramatsu is a modern cult character, the story of whom was until recently known only by an elite few in Nottingham, UK. The character first appeared in an amateur film, Scumfairy vs. The Three Wise Men, which starred James Gash and Kieran Crosby. The location of this groundbreaking film still remains a mystery.
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[edit] The character
[edit] Story
Horsie Yaramatsu was born a normal Shetland pony, living among one of the Samurai tribes on one of the mountains of Japan. Cruelly, young hooligans kidnapped the pony and decapitated it. The pony's head was then attached to a disproportionately large metal structure and left near a nuclear waste disposal site. Somehow, the radiation caused the remains of the horse not only to return to life, but also to gain control of the wheels attached to the metal structure. The creature could also now talk in any language. It did not, however, speak Portuguese, nor could it translate. On its own wheels, the horse killed its creators, and set off on a journey, hoping for a new life in Somerset, UK. Upon arrival in Dover, Horsie Yaramatsu befriended a young, shy boy, who knew only his first name: Jimbob. Together they made an unstoppable duo. Horsie Yaramatsu went on to help finish off Darth Scumfairy once and for all.
[edit] The making of Horsie Yaramatsu
Horsie Yaramatsu is in fact not a real horse at all, and is actually a hobby horse mounted on top of a broken milk trolley (rumoured to be stolen from a branch of Tesco).
[edit] Filmography
- Scumfairy vs. The Three Wise Men (2006)
[edit] Catchphrases
- "Horsieeeeeeeeee Yaramatsu"
- "Being Horsie Yaramatsu, I have many a-power!"
[edit] Trivia
- Fans of Horsie Yaramatsu are known to shout "Horsieeeee Yaramatsu" at extremely high volumes on the streets of Nottingham. It is not uncommon for the less noisy barbershop version to follow shortly.
- Horsie Yaramatsu's only credit, Scumfairy vs. The Three Wise Men, has only been viewed by a handful of people.
