Abu Kamal
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Abu Kamal (Arabic: أبو كمال) is a city in eastern Syria in the Euphrates River near the border with Iraq. It is part of Al-Jazira - the Arabic name for the region of northeastern modern-day Syria and northwestern modern-day Iraq. It is characterized as a plain, quite district from the Syrian Desert and lower-lying central Mesopotamia. The Euphrates divides Abukamal into two areas: Shamiyya (belongs to the Levant) and Jazira (belongs to Mesopotamia). Abukamal is an economically prosperous region and farming area with cattle-breeding, cereals and cotton crops. It is also home to the historical site Dura-Europos and the ancient kingdom of Mari.
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[edit] Etymology
During the Ottoman time, Abukamal was called qashla which is a Turkish word for ‘military base’. Abukamal, the name, is a tribal name for the region. Abukamal means the father of Kamal but, if pronounced properly, as Al-bukmal (Arabic: آل بو كمال), it means the family of Kamal – which is the tribe that lives there.
[edit] History
During Roman times it was, as part of Mesopotamia, an important trading post between the Roman Empire and India. Conquered by Zenobia, it became part of the kingdom of Palmyra. During the early Islamic Empire, the administration of Jazira was often shared with that of Armenia. At the time of Mu‘awiyah (governor of Syria and the later founder of the Umayyad Caliphate), the administration of al-Jazira was included in the administration of Syria. France occupied Abukamal together with Dair Azzour in 1921 and made it the seat of a large garrison. In 1946 it became part of independent Syria. The region’s position at the border of Syria and Iraq – especially after the US invasion of Iraq – has made it an important commercial as well as political center. It was the main exit for mujahideens (Free-fighters, insurgent) who went to fight the Americans in Iraq.
[edit] Culture
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[edit] Dress
The pattern of clothing is nearly the same for all people except for religious leaders who do not put on the headband as they consider it to be an old Arab and pre-Islamic habit and does not fit in with Islam. Secondly they put on a hat different from the hat that ordinary people wear under their headgear - which has holes so as to be light and allow air in. The religious leaders’ hat is thick and does not have holes, they also wear the dress (dishdashah) and a long coat in summer and winter as they think it adds power and privacy to their personalities. The shoes they wear are practical and light. Any person who wears this way with no headband is called Sheikh and is respected by people due to his religious standing; sometimes ordinary people would wear the same wear so as to get the respect of people though they are not really religious.
Country people think that the trousers and shirts are for the educated only, but urban people are used to wearing them, probably because it is more practical when moving or walking. They sometimes ridicule the tie as it resembles the Rashma (a wide thread they tie round the cow’s or bull’s neck). They have an analytical point of view in this regard. They say that people from cities wear the tie and they are easily led by their wives the same as the peasants would lead their cows. Some people see that the tie is forbidden in Islam as it resembles the cross and this is forbidden in Islam. It has become more common nowadays and is somehow accepted.
In the past people including old, young and children used to wear the long dress (dishdashah) and children used not to wear under trousers, especially in summer so that their male organ would grow and take its natural look, they thought that wearing under trousers in the early years restrain growth of the male organ, but recently young men between 15-22 years old changed their way of clothing in the village and the city alike. They started putting on sports trousers and shirts. This change came through young people of the Gulf.
The difference between an urban and country young woman is that the women from the country wear the Gulf wide abayah, but the urban women wears the long coat designed for committed religious women, and they wear the hijab unlike country women who wear the Gulf Milafa’.
[edit] Customs & Marriage
Oddly enough, sexual suppression is less in the countryside than in the city. In the city, there is more sexual suppression and the people there are more reserved. While in the city men and women are not allowed to talk to each other, in the countryside they are more open in this respect as they are all relatives. What is strange though, is that it is allowed for any young man to talk to any woman except if he wishes to marry her.
A young man is normally barely twenty years when he wants to marry. Marriage is considered half the religion and society considers an unmarried young man as not normal and different from other young men. Good families still refuse young men of lesser social or historic level than theirs. The dowry is a primary obstacle in the way of youngsters’ marriage. The family of a young man should pay at least 5000USD$. That is one of the reasons why family intermarriage in Abu Kamal is increasing, as the dowry is rather affordable. Between 80% and 85% of people in the area marry relatives. Parents feel that family intermarriages are better as social relations are enriched and the family expands. Getting married to the cousin increases the man's power among his family and makes him accepted within his social circles. Many people think that kids who are born from intermarriages are original and they are respected among people and more disciplined. When the mother is a ‘stranger’ or from a weak family, the son would be always ridiculed and the mother’s family would always be mocked. It is believed that a son would take after his or her uncles from the mother’s side.
Because society is closed and reserved, it is difficult for a young man to meet a woman. The best place to meet is during weddings and public parties (events). In weddings, people from the village meet as well as from neighboring villages. It is only natural for everyone to attend, unlike the wedding meal where only invited people attend. When a young man likes a girl during a wedding party, the informal engagement starts after. The young man would visit the house of the woman and sit with her brothers and parents. When the parents see that the young man is visiting too often they would know that he means to ask for the hand of their daughter. If the parents agree then they would treat the young man well and be reasonably kind to him when he visits, otherwise they would be uncivil and very formal as they can not kick him out of the house no matter what as this is against their customs. The process of accepting or refusing happens during the early young man’s visits. If one of the fathers would refuse it would be because of family or personal differences or that the woman’s father is bad or not known among people. The young man is usually shy to inform his father that he wishes to marry from a certain house.
The wedding day is the most exhausting day for the groom, as he has to check everything himself and he has to greet all the people who come to congratulate him as. Strangely, on the wedding day, it is considered a shame that the bride’s brother or father attends the wedding; only the bride’s sister and mother would attend. The groom’s family would offer lunches for the guests for two days prior to the wedding. They slaughter 10 to 15 sheep and if these are not enough for the attendees, a big cow will be slaughtered so that the food would be enough for everyone. The diameter of the plate is one meter, they first put bread soaked with meat soup then cooked rice with meat in large quantities. 10 or more men would share the plate and usually eat by their hands with no spoons. After lunch , 20 to 30 cars will be ready to go in a convoy headed by the brides car, usually the best of all. They head to the bride’s house, where the groom would go in wearing the traditional dress (long white dress, headgear, headband and the robe). He would enter the room where the bride is sitting, where he would be surrounded by a group of young men usually his brothers and best friends. The procession would end up in the groom’s house. The bride and groom would sit on two chairs raised on a platform prepared especially for them, and everyone starts shooting when they enter the house, and the groom’s mother would sprinkle sweets and candy. They would sit for nearly an hour, then the groom would go by himself to shake hands with friends and older invitees which lasts for one or two hours. During this time the bride is surrounded by her sisters on her right to encourage her. Sometimes if the groom does not know how to have proper sex, he takes a 30 minute lesson from either his father, brother or one of his uncles (mother’s side). It is a shame for the bride to dance or even move from her place. The groom comes and takes her into their private room to relax after the tough day. They would spend an hour making love, then he would go out again wearing the traditional costume, people would understand what he had done and they would start halaheel - moving the tongue and making joyful noises, a word which comes from hala which means 'welcome' - announcing the start of a new married life.
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