Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/1998 Pacific hurricane season

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[edit] 1998 Pacific hurricane season

I did this one not too long ago, and I think it's featured quality. I've been wrong before, however, and I'd love to hear your opinions. Hurricanehink (talk) 21:28, 18 March 2007 (UTC)

Comment, can an ACE table chart please be included, before anything else happens? Other than that, I have no problems with the article. Thanks. RaNdOm26 04:35, 19 March 2007 (UTC)

Damn, I don't know how I forgot about that. OK, I added it in. Hurricanehink (talk) 15:14, 19 March 2007 (UTC)

• *Jumps up and down to see if anyone is watching this* Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 01:45, 29 March 2007 (UTC)
  • *Joins with Tito in hope that someone else will comment on it* Hurricanehink (talk) 01:56, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

Comment - In the intro it says Hurricane Lester and Tropical Storm Frank were also deadly which I presume means they caused fatalities. If so why is Hurricane Madeline not mentioned if it caused 31 people to die; were they indirect deaths due to the flooding? For that matter do indirect deaths contribute to a hurricanes fatality rating? Could probably also do with a light copy edit (I fixed one typo in the intro). Thanks. CheekyMonkey 18:09, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

• I hadn't really thought of including Madeline in the lede, as the deaths were indirect, but I suppose it warrants inclusion. Hurricanehink (talk) 19:49, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

• Object—1a. The density of problems in the lead indicates that a good copy-edit throughout is essential to attain the required "professional" standard of writing.
  • "Isis caused over $5 million in damage (1998 USD, $6.2 million 2006 USD) in the country which included over 300 destroyed homes, and later affected the southwestern United States by producing light rainfall and dozens of traffic accidents." Why not insert "US" on first appearance, before "$5"? After this, we assume they're all US dollars, so the clutter can be reduced. Remove "1998", which is obvious. Why not just "(~ $6.2M in 2006)"? "Country" is ambiguous: = rural area or nation? A comma after "country" is absolutely mandatory, since what follows is not a subset. BTW, five million bucks seems like chicken feed - five expensive houses; so what?
  • "These dates conventionally delimit the period of each year when most tropical cyclones form in the northeastern Pacific Ocean." Remove "of each year". Similarly: " The most notable tropical cyclone during the year was Hurricane Isis"—remove "during the year".
  • MoS says don't use numerals at the start of a sentence; best to spell out single-digits, anyway: "The season saw 13 named storms form, slightly below average. 9 storms attained hurricane status, of which 6 became major hurricanes." Then the very next sentence, even though separated by a subheading: "With 13 tropical storms, activity during the season was slightly below the average of 16 named storms,". Tony 00:29, 31 March 2007 (UTC)
    • I fixed up the lede some more. However, I don't think it is fair to assess the lead as indicative of the rest of the article. Hurricane articles are fairly bland and basic, and generally the most problems occur in the lead and summary sections. Hurricanehink (talk) 04:58, 31 March 2007 (UTC)

Easy to pass it off that way; so why, when I choose at random a small section below, do I find problems such as these:

• "the center became sufficiently associated with the convection for the National Hurricane Center to classify it as Tropical Depression One-E while located about 460 miles (765 km) south-southwest of Acapulco, Mexico.[4]". Was the NHC on a ship? Spot the two redundant words.
• "in the days subsequent to its formation"—what about some plain English, such as "after its formation". Please audit the whole text for this kind of thing.
• Non-experts will not know what "organization trend" means.
• "it intensified into Tropical Storm Agatha while located about 650 miles (1050 km) south-southeast of Cabo San Lucas." Spot the double redundancy.
• "forecasters predicted it would quickly weaken without strengthening due to passing over cooler waters." You may know what it means, but to us, it's ambiguous. (Is it the strengthening or the quick weakening without strengthening that was caused by passing over cooler waters?)
• "Agatha quickly strengthened, developing a curved band of convection wrapping around the center,[6] and early on 11 June the storm attained a peak intensity of 65 mph (100 km/h) while located about 615 miles". Perhaps "its centre"? Remove "the storm" and "while located". Audit the entire text for such redundant wordings.
• Remove "Agatha" from the second-last sentence.

Thus, please take seriously my earlier comment that the whole text needs attention. Tony 11:03, 1 April 2007 (UTC)

All of those seem fairly minor. I don't see what is wrong to subsequent to its formation. You said that you want to avoid redundancies, and I'd rather change up the wording a bit than use after again. The non-expert, I would hope, would know that a trend is defined as a general tendency, and thus that a strengthening and organization trend would be a be a general tendency toward more strengthening and organization. However, if you don't think they would get that, what would you suggest? I removed most of the "while located"s in the article. Given that I don't know where to find the mistakes throughout the entire article, could someone possibly copyedit the article? It is often better for someone unfamiliar with the work to copyedit it. Hurricanehink (talk) 15:42, 1 April 2007 (UTC)