Private Eye

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Private Eye
4 March 2005 cover of Private Eye; this is a typical example of the magazine's front cover. The caption refers to the wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles.
Type	fortnightly satirical magazine-newspaper
Format	magazine
Owner	Pressdram Ltd
Editor	Ian Hislop
Founded	1961
Political allegiance	none
Headquarters	6 Carlisle Street, London, W1D 3BN
Website: private-eye.co.uk

Private Eye is a fortnightly British satirical magazine-newspaper, edited by Ian Hislop.

Contents 1 History 2 Nature of the magazine 3 Regular sections 3.1 Miscellaneous 3.2 Newspaper parodies 3.3 Mini-sections 3.4 Defunct sections 4 Cartoons 5 Frequent targets 5.1 The Royals 5.2 Prime Ministers 5.3 Other politicians 5.4 Prominent figures 5.5 Businessmen 5.6 Journalists 5.7 Entertainment and media 5.8 Newspapers 6 Other running jokes 6.1 Neasden 6.2 Lord Gnome 6.3 Crossword 6.4 Andrew Neil image 6.5 Phil Space 6.6 Trebles all round 7 Non-magazine items 7.1 Products 7.2 Publications 7.3 Recordings 8 Criticism and controversy 9 Litigation 10 Ownership 11 Trivia 12 See also 13 External links 14 Further reading 15 References

[edit] History

The forerunner of Private Eye was a school magazine edited by Richard Ingrams, Willie Rushton, Christopher Booker and Paul Foot in the mid-1950s. They met at Shrewsbury School and after National Service Ingrams and Foot went to the University of Oxford, where they met their future collaborators Peter Usborne, Andrew Osmond, John Wells and Danae Brook, among others.

The magazine proper began when Peter Usborne learned of a new printing process, offset lithography, which meant that anybody with a typewriter and Letraset could design a magazine. Although Private Eye was founded amid the British satire boom and the political and social upheavals of the 1960s, at first it was merely a vehicle for silly jokes – an extension of the school magazine and an alternative to other humorous magazines like Punch. However, according to Christopher Booker, its original editor, it simply got "caught up in the rage for satire".

The magazine was initially funded by Usborne and was launched in 1961. It was named when Andrew Osmond looked for ideas in the famous recruiting poster of Lord Kitchener (an image of Kitchener pointing with the caption "Wants You") and, in particular, the pointing finger. After the name "Finger" was rejected, Osmond suggested "Private Eye", in the sense of someone who "fingers" a suspect.

The magazine was initially edited by Christopher Booker and designed by Willie Rushton, who also drew cartoons for it. Its later editor Richard Ingrams was then pursuing a career as an actor, sharing the editorship with Booker on his return around issue 10 and taking over fully only on issue 40.

After the magazine's initial success, more funding was provided by Nicholas Luard and Peter Cook, who ran The Establishment satire club, and Private Eye became a fully professional publication.

In its 21 July 1962 issue, the weekly news magazine Topic reported that a new magazine, Scene, was about to be launched "by the young men who have had a considerable success with Private Eye".^{[citation needed]}

Other people essential to the development of the magazine were Auberon Waugh, Claud Cockburn (who had run a pre-war scandal sheet, The Week), Barry Fantoni, Gerald Scarfe, Tony Rushton, Patrick Marnham and Candida Betjeman. Christopher Logue was another long-time contributor, providing a fortnightly column of "True Stories" featuring cuttings from the national press. The gossip columnist Nigel Dempster wrote extensively for the magazine before he fell out with the editor and other writers, and Paul Foot wrote on politics, local government and corruption.

[edit] Nature of the magazine

Private Eye is often accused of specialising in scurrilous gossip and scandal about the misdeeds of the powerful and famous, and has been the recipient of numerous libel writs. These include three by the late Sir James Goldsmith and several by Robert Maxwell, one of which resulted in costs and reported damages of £225,000 and attacks on the magazine through the publication of a book, Malice in Wonderland, and a magazine, Not Private Eye by Maxwell^[1]. But its defenders point out that it frequently carries news that the mainstream press is frightened to use for fear of legal reprisals, or that is of minority interest. The Eye will often print a story when hard evidence is lacking but there is an overwhelming consensus that the story is true. It is also thought that the Eye avoids breaking stories of politicians' extramarital activities on moral grounds, but it will freely comment on such matters when they are unearthed elsewhere.

Many of the contributors to Private Eye are public figures, or specialists in their field, who write anonymously, often under humorous pseudonyms. Many stories originate from writers for other mainstream publications who cannot get their stories published by their employers. A financial column at the back of the magazine ("In the City", written by Michael Gillard) has contributed to a wide city and business readership as a large number of financial scandals and unethical business practices and personalities were first exposed there.

The magazine is also home to many of Britain's most highly regarded humorous cartoonists, and has published a series of independent one-offs dedicated solely to news reporting of particular current events, such as government inadequacy over the foot and mouth outbreak, or the conviction of Abdel Basset Ali al-Megrahi for the Lockerbie bombing (Lockerbie, the flight from justice, May/June 2001). Another special issue was published in September 2004 to mark the death of long-time staff member Paul Foot.

Alongside jokes, the magazine frequently breaks news stories before any other outlet. It was the first outlet to name the Kray twins as the gang leaders terrorising the London underworld in the 1960s. This only occurred as the then editor Richard Ingrams was on holiday and proprietor Peter Cook standing in for him thought it too good an opportunity to miss.

[edit] Regular sections

The magazine includes many regular sections:

[edit] Miscellaneous

• The cover, with its famous speech bubble, putting ironic or humorous comments into the mouths of the famous in response to topical events.
• News (previously called The Colour Section) – effectively the stories the magazine is most proud of that week or thinks most important, placed at its front.
• Street of Shame – covering journalism, newspapers and other press stories. The term "Street of Shame" refers to Fleet Street. Usually largely written by Francis Wheen and Adam Macqueen.
• Hackwatch – highlighting the recent writing of a journalist or newspaper, to highlight ironic inconsistencies or general poor quality.
• Called to Ordure – reporting from recent committee appearances by regulators or otherwise senior civil servants.
• HP Sauce – covering politics and politicians. ("HP" refers to Houses of Parliament, as well as being an actual brand of sauce).
• Down On The Farm – agricultural issues.
• Down On The Fishfarm – issues relating to fish-farming.
• Music notes – gossip on the artistic and political intrigues behind the scenes in the world of classical music. Written by "Lunchtime O'Boulez". (Lunchtime O'Booze has been the resident Private Eye journalist since the earliest days, Pierre Boulez, French avant garde composer and conductor, was a controversial choice as Principal Conductor of the BBC Symphony Orchestra in the early 1970s, a time still remembered by many as a dark age of British music-making). In an earlier incarnation, the column published scurrilous and unfounded gossip about the London Symphony Orchestra, which resulted in a significant libel pay-out.
• Ad Nauseam – the excesses and faux-pas of the advertising industry.
• Court Circular – a parody of the Telegraph and Times' Court Circular sections which detail the activities of the Royal Family, for example "HRH Prince Harry attended the opening of a bottle of vodka at Slappers Niteclub in Kensington."
• Eye TV – analysis of television programmes and news/criticism of the UK television industry. (ITV is a British TV channel).
• Doing The Rounds – medical news and coverage of the National Health Service, written by the general practitioner (and sometime comedian) Dr Phil Hammond.
• Rotten Boroughs – highlighting local council activities. The term "rotten borough" refers to the system of government before the Great Reform Act of 1832, when the House of Commons was made up of members for small towns while the wider shires and industrial cities were often unrepresented. This section is written by a number of reporters, none of whom are credited, each covering different regional 'beats'. It is edited by Tim Minogue.

• Signal Failures – covering railway issues. The author name "Dr B. Ching" refers to Dr Richard Beeching who wielded the Beeching Axe, a report that led to widespread cuts to the British railway network in the 1960s.
• High Principals – examining further and higher education issues and spotlighting individuals who might have acted in their own best interest or those of family, friends and associates, rather than in the interest of the wider academic community.
• Under The Microscope – looking at issues related to the scientific field.
• Nooks & Corners – architectural criticism. This is one of the magazine's most famous sections. It was originally titled Nooks & Corners of the New Barbarism, a reference to the architectural movement known as New Brutalism. The column was founded by John Betjeman, and is currently written by architectural historian Gavin Stamp using the name "Piloti".
• Letters – readers' letters section which frequently includes letters from the famous and powerful, often so that the Eye can print an apology and thereby avoid litigation. Some people use the page as a voice to express disgust at a recent Eye article and, infamously (or jokingly), end by saying they will cancel their subscription. This section also prints the lookalikes and occasionally prints the embarrassing picture of Andrew Neil described below.
• Funny Old World – supposedly genuine news stories from around the world; compiled by Victor Lewis-Smith. Continued an earlier column, Christopher Logue's True Stories.
• Letter From... – brief column written by a native person of a particular country highlighting the political or social situation there.
• Literary Review – book reviews and news from the world of publishing and bookselling. The masthead from the magazine, formerly edited by Auberon Waugh (AKA, Abraham Wargs, "The Voice of Himself"), is cheekily lifted for this section.
• Prime Minister parodies – a full page lampooning the prime minister of the day. The style of the page is always the same, and tries to sum up some fundamental characteristic of the person involved. Occasionally, formerly defunct columns of this type resurface (e.g. Dear Bill, on the death of Denis Thatcher). In reverse historical order:
  • St. Albion Parish News – the main focus of the magazine's satire against Tony Blair, who is characterised as a sanctimonious Church of England vicar and his government as various parish officials. Blair often receives updates from his transatlantic confidant, George Bush, from the "Church of the Latter-Day Morons". From 1997-2001, during the presidency of Bill Clinton the correspondence was described as coming from "The Church of the 7th Day Fornicators" in reference to Clinton's alleged womanising.
  • The Secret Diary of John Major (aged 47¾) (defunct) – A spoof weekly diary entry based on The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole (aged 13¾) in which John Major was typically characterised as being hopelessly naïve and optimistic. The diary has recently reappeared: first when his affair with Edwina Currie was discovered, and more recently when Major was made a KG and after he attended the funeral of Edward Heath.
  • Dear Bill (defunct) – spoof letters from Denis Thatcher to Bill Deedes, about life in 10 Downing Street with Margaret. The series portrayed Denis as a sozzled rightist alcoholic staggering between snifters.
  • (There was no parody of James Callaghan)
  • Heathco Newsletter (defunct) – an internal missive purportedly from the managing director of a struggling small firm called Heathco, in which Edward Heath (managing director) keeps his staff up to date and in high spirits with the latest company news. Cabinet ministers would be recast as petty managers and clerks in this satire. The company's logo was a stylised yacht. The newsletters invariably ended with a request to staff which admonished them for stubbing their cigarettes out in the plastic cups in which the canteen served them with tea.
  • Mrs Wilson's Diary (defunct) – a chronicle of the events in Harold Wilson's life, from the more down-to-earth and homely perspective of his wife, Mrs Wilson. The series was later adapted to theatre and television. Based on a contemporary radio soap opera Mrs Dale's Diary. Mrs Wilson's Diary inspired a similar feature in the American magazine National Lampoon: Mrs Agnew's Diary, purporting to be the actual journal of Vice President Spiro Agnew's wife. Indeed, several National Lampoon features were "borrowed" from Private Eye.
• Diary – A parody of the weekly 'diary' column which appears in the right-wing Spectator magazine, written in the style of the chosen celebrity (written by Craig Brown).
• Pseuds Corner – quotations from written media in which the pompous and pretentious point themselves out (based on reader submissions, which are rewarded with "the usual tenner").
• Just Fancy That – appears throughout the magazine comparing the difference between what people and newspaper have said at various times.
• Harsh Words – An occasional series devoted to the new callousness. "The shooting left a horrible atmosphere here for a while. It made you aware of all the terrible things that go on. But I don't think it has affected house prices." Former neighbour of Jill Dando
• Ongoing situations, (subtitled with meaningful and viable scenarios at this moment in time) showcased the gobbledegook and doubletalk rampant in "on the spot" interviews beginning in the 1970s, as television news coverage went live outside the studio, leading to unrehearsed speeches which natually tended toward currently fashionable clichés (for example, instead of "there is a siege", "we have an ongoing siege situation").
• In The Back – in-depth investigative journalism, often taking the side of the downtrodden. This section was until 2004 overseen by the late Paul Foot under whose tenure it was known as Footnotes. It is seen by many as the strongest element within the magazine and often features stories on potential miscarriages of justice and stories on other embarrassing establishment misdeeds. In the Back was first used in 1999, when Paul Foot suffered an aortic aneurysm and had to spend six months in hospital and the Footnotes name was completely dropped in 2004.
• In The City – analysis of financial and city affairs and people.
• Crossword – a cryptic prize crossword, notable for its vulgarity, composed by 'Cyclops'.
• Classified – adverts from readers. Years ago people with odd sexual tastes would make contact with others via Private Eye's personal ads, using code words (using the names of motor cycles to describe various sexual acts, for example). However, nowadays the classified adverts usually consist of people selling wine or websites, or conspiracy theorists promoting their ideas. Includes the "Eye Need" adverts in which people beg for money. Spike Milligan once placed an ad that ran: "Spike Milligan would like to meet a rich, well-insured widow – intention: murder" and reported receiving several dozen replies.
• Old Testament parody – a spoof of the Old Testament, applying Bibilical language and imagery particularly reminsicent of the King James Bible to current affairs in the Middle East.

[edit] Newspaper parodies

The latter half of the magazine is taken up with parodies of newspapers; the layout and style of writing mirrors newspapers, which serve as vehicles for parody and satire of current events, plus spoof adverts. Where further content is implied, but omitted, this is said to continue on page 94.

• Lunchtime O'Booze has been the Eye's resident journalist since the early days. The name is a comment on journalists' traditional fondness for alcohol, their prandial habits, the suspicion that they get their stories by hanging around the pub and talking to people they meet there and, by implication, the amount of reliance which might be placed upon their reports.
• Glenda Slagg – brash, libidinous and self-contradictory female reporter based on Jean Rook and Lynda Lee-Potter.
• Sally Jockstrap – a fictional sports columnist who is incapable of correctly reporting any sporting facts. Her articles are usually a mishmash of references with several sports, along the lines of "there was drama at Twickenham as Michael Schumacher double faulted to give Arsenal victory"
• Dave Spart – ultra-left wing activist (always of a ridiculous-sounding collective or magazine - sometimes the New Spartsman or the Indescribably Sparty - frequently based in Neasden) who is given free rein to express his views. These always begin 'Once again ...', before attempting to lambast the subject of his anger for allegedly constant misconduct, prejudice or general wrongdoing. This very rarely gets further than a few words before it breaks down into a fragmented litany of 'sickening ... totally sickening ... worse than Hitler ..." and so on, before being abruptly curtailed by the inevitable "continued on page 94". Since he must take the alternative view on any subject, he often ends up contradicting himself and getting stuck in logical circles, frequently stopping with "Er..." but continuing anyway.
• Poetry Corner – trite obituaries of the recently deceased in the form of poems from the fictional teenage poet E.J. Thribb (17½). The poems (nearly) always have a heading "In Memoriam..." and usually begin "So. Farewell then".
• A Doctor Writes – the fictional "A. Doctor" or "Dr Thomas Utterfraud" parodies newspaper articles on topical medical conditions, particularly those by Dr Thomas Stuttaford.
• Polly Filler – a vapid and self-centred female "lifestyle" columnist, whose irrelevant personal escapades and gossip serve solely to fill column inches. She complains bitterly about the workload of the modern woman whilst passing all parental responsibility onto 'the au pair', who always comes from a less-advanced country, is paid a pittance, and fails to understand the workings of some mundane aspect of "lifestyle" life. Her name is derived from Polyfilla, a DIY product used to fill holes and cracks in plaster. Polly's sister Penny Dreadful makes an occasional appearance. Like several Private Eye regulars, Polly is based upon more than one female columnist who can be difficult to identify, but Jane Moore of The Sun, whose remarks are often echoed by Polly or commented on elsewhere in the magazine, is a major source. Additionally, the column is a sly dig (as opposed to the more usual Eye bludgeoning with a blunt instrument) at the Murdoch empire in general and Sky Television in particular, as Polly's husband, "the useless Simon", is usually mentioned as being in front of the television (wasting time) watching exotic sports on obscure satellite television channels (a News Corporation speciality).
• Toy-town News or Nursery Times – a newspaper based on the mythology of children's stories. For example, Royal butler Paul Burrell was satirised as the "Knave of Hearts" who was "lent" tarts "for safe keeping", rather than stealing them as in the rhyme. Nigel Dempster is referred to as "Humpty Dumpster".
• Ye Daily Tudorgraph – a newspaper written in mock-Tudor language, set in that time-period, and clearly a parody of the Daily Telegraph. It usually suggests that former Daily Telegraph editor Bill Deedes was a young boy at the time.
• The Has-Beano – a pastiche of Britain's long-running Beano children's comic, used to satirise The Spectator and Boris Johnson (who features as the lead character, Boris the Menace).
• Obvious headline – the trite and banal stories about celebrities' antics that receive extensive reporting in the national press are often rewritten as an anonymous headline, such as "SHOCK NEWS: MAN HAS SEX WITH SECRETARY". This is usually "EXCLUSIVE TO ALL NEWSPAPERS".
• Official Apology or Product Recall – spoofs the official apologies and product recall notices that newspapers are mandated to print. For example, the subject might be the English national football team.
• Gnomemart – the Christmas special edition of Private Eye includes a double page of spoof adverts for useless mail-order gadgets, usually endorsed by topical celebrities, as being capable of playing topical songs or TV theme tunes.
• Mary Ann Bighead – A satire of The Times columnist and assistant editor Mary Ann Sieghart. Bighead is lampooned as being pretentious, ignorant, and boastful of her two children Brainella (3) and Intelligencia (7), her high standard of living, her travels (mainly to developing countries where she patronises the locals) and the fact that she can speak so many languages (including Swahili, Tagalog and 13th Century Mongolian).
• Pop Scene by Maureen Cleavage – Originally a micky-take on press coverage of the music business and Maureen Cleave, who had a "pop" column on the Evening Standard. At the time (early to mid-Sixties), popular culture was starting to be taken more seriously by the heavier newspapers; some claim that the Eye gang considered this approach to be pretentious, and ripe for ridicule, although others counter-argue that the Eye was in fact covering popular culture before some of the more serious newspapers did. Maureen was supposedly a close friend of John Lennon, indeed she is often credited with bringing the notorious "more popular than Jesus" remark to public notice. Her style was similar to the gushing and uncritical content which now typifies "Bizarre" in The Sun and the "3am Girls" in the Daily Mirror. This section provided an outlet for satirical comment on the activities of popular musicians of the time. Their antics were usually attributed to "The Turds pop group" (fictional) and their charismatic leader "Spiggy Topes". "The Turds" and "Topes" were originally based on The Beatles and a thinly disguised John Lennon, but the names became applied to any rock star or band whose excesses featured in the popular press (Johnny Rotten and the Sex Pistols, for example). This section first appeared in issue Number 69 in August 1964.
• Neasden FC – A fictional lower league football club from Neasden often used to satirize the state of British football in general with the manager 'ashen-faced Ron Knee, 59' possibly from Ron Atkinson and the two fans "Sid and Doris Bonkers" playing on the idea of tiny devoted fanbases of unsuccessful football clubs. The reports were written by "E.I. Addio", which was a punning reference to popular football chanting.
• Police log - Neasden Central Police Station – A fictional police station log, satirising current police policies that are met with general contempt and/or disdain. Examples may include an incident in which an elderly woman is attacked by a gang of youths, and is arrested (and unfortunately dies 'of natural causes' in police custody) for infringing on their right to terrorise OAPs, or the officers who arrest themselves for ordering a Full English, in direct contravention of the Celtic Minority (Non-Discriminatory Breakfast Provision) regulations 2006.

[edit] Mini-sections

There are several regular mini-sections, mostly based on clippings from newspapers sent in by readers:

• Lookalikes – comparing two famous individuals who look alike; frequently the two have an ironic connection too which is pointed out by the reader who submits the piece. The captions relating to the two individuals are also swapped around, implying that even the magazine cannot tell which individual is which. The sender often finishes with the phrase "might they perhaps be related?" and/or "I think we should be told." This feature was copied by the American Spy magazine in its "Separated at Birth?" section. On one occasion, Robert Maxwell successfully sued the Eye for printing a made-up letter 'lookaliking' him with one of the Kray Twins. Although the comparison was deemed an artistic interpretation and not amenable at law, the facts that (a) the letter had been composed by Richard Ingrams and (b) that the magazine often hinted (correctly, as it turned out) that Maxwell was a crook, were taken as proof of defamatory intent.
• Order Of The Brown Nose – highlighting those who toady to others (usually the famous and/or powerful).
• Number Crunching – comparing numerical figures relating to a current event with others that make the event seem comical/bizarre/despicable.
• Dumb Britain – Bizarre or stupid answers to questions from British TV/radio quiz shows. This section has been criticised by some as reflecting the Eye staff's penchant for ridiculing those they consider less educated than themselves.
  • Similarly Dumb America, Dumb Ireland, Dumb Australia, etc.
• Going Live highlighting the often unnecessary use by rolling news programmes of outside broadcasts of reporters speaking to camera simply as an alternative to having a studio based commentary.
• Luvvies – quotations from thespians and other theatrical types, indicating they are "luvvies".
• The Neophiliacs – Examples of lazy journalists employing the cliché "x is the new y", eg Black is the new brown, Basel is the new St Tropez and so forth. However, there has been a recent trend for certain journalists to preface their remarks with "At the risk of appearing in Private Eye..."
• Colemanballs – infamous collection of quotes from radio and TV in which commentators and other professional speakers -- usually from the world of sport -- are inconsistent, mix metaphors, or make pretentious or ludicrous statements worthy of Pseuds Corner, such as: "And he's missed the goal by literally a million miles". This feature originally specialised in quotes from British sports commentator David Coleman, who certainly provided enough material, but the category proved ripe for inclusion of others, including athletes.
• Newspaper misprints – amusing misprints from newspapers, appears throughout the magazine.
• Warballs – quotations from the media in which people spuriously use the events of September 11, 2001 as justification for various actions, usually totally unrelated.
  • Also Dianaballs – highlights the use in the media of invoking an emotional or sentimental response by referring to the death of Diana, Princess of Wales. The "-balls" construction is also used to refer to other events, for example Tsunamiballs.
• Eye spy – pictures sent in by readers showing contradictory, ironic, amusing, scatological, or just plain daft images; for example, a temporary "Polling Station" sign situated next to a "Do not sit on the fence" notice; an Indonesian restaurant named "Caffe Bog" and so on.
• Solutions – instances of companies adopting an unimaginitive buzzword by claiming to provide 'solutions' where a simpler phrasing would seem more appropriate: for instance, describing cardboard boxes as "Christmas Ornament Storage Solutions".

[edit] Defunct sections

Apart from the former Prime Minister parodies mentioned above, several sections are no longer printed. These include:

• Auberon Waugh's Diary; Waugh wrote a regular diary for the magazine, usually combining real events from his own life with fictional flights of fancy (i.e. pretending he had been to parties with the Queen), from the early 1970s until 1985. It was generally written in the persona of an ultra-right-wing country gentleman, a subtle exaggeration of his own personality. He described it as the world's first example of journalism specifically dedicated to telling lies.
• London Calling – a roundup of news, especially of the most barking loony left variety, during the days of the GLC. This column was retired with the abolition of the GLC and no manifestation of it has returned, despite the election of former GLC head Ken Livingstone as mayor of London.
• Sally Deedes – genuine consumer journalism column, often exposing spectacularly corrupt or improper goods, services and/or dealings. Sally Deedes (author unknown) was the origin of the Eye's first-ever libel victory in the mid-1990s; column was quietly ditched a few years later.
• Illustrated London News – a digest of news and scandal from the metropolis, parodying (and using the masthead of) the defunct gazette of the same name. Usually written by the radical pioneer journalist Claud Cockburn. Later replaced (c.1984) with -
• Grovel – a 'society' column, featuring gossip, scandal and scuttlebutt about the rich and famous, and probably the most-sued section in the whole magazine. The character and style of Grovel (a clearly tired and emotional man with a monocle, top hat and cigarette holder) was based on former GLE (Greatest Living Englishman), Nigel Dempster, lampooned as 'Nigel Pratt-Dumpster'. Grovel was replaced in about 1996 with –
• Hallo! – the 'heartwarming column' purportedly written by The Marquesa, practically identical in content but with a new prose style parodying the breathless and gushing format established by magazines such as Hello, in which celebrities showed reporters around their lovely houses, etc. Hallo! itself disappeared in about 2000.
• Thomas, The Privatised Tank Engine – a parody of Rev. W. Awdry's Railway Series, by Incledon Clark published at the time of the debate over railway privatisation in 1993-4. The criticisms of the privatised railway that was being created turned out to be prescient to an astonishing degree.

[edit] Cartoons

As well as many one-off cartoons, the magazine features several comic strips:

• Bores (defunct) – Michael Heath
• Yobs and Yobettes – Tony Husband Satirising yob (Chav) culture (or lack thereof)
• Supermodels – Neil Kerber satirising their lifestyle – the characters are infeasibly thin
• The Commuters (defunct) – Grizelda - follows the efforts of two commuters to get a train to work.
• It's Grim Up North London – Knife & Packer satire about Islington trendies
• Young British Artists – Birch - a spoof of artists such as "Tracey" (Emin) and "Damien" (Hirst).
• Off Your Trolley (defunct) – Reeve & Way - set in an NHS hospital
• Apparently – Mike Barfield
• The Premiersh*ts – Paul Wood (cartoonist) - about the state of professional football and footballers
• Celeb – Charles Peattie and Mark Warren
• Snipcock & Tweed – Nick Newman - two book publishers
• The Directors – Dredge & Rigg – comments on the excesses of boardroom fat cats
• The Cloggies (defunct) – Bill Tidy – an everyday story of clog-dancing folk
• Hom Sap (defunct) – Austin
• Scenes you seldom see
• Battle for Britain (defunct) – a satire of British politics (1983-1987) in terms of World War II
• EUphemisms – Features a European Union (EU) official making a statement, with the caption giving what it means in real terms, generally depicting the EU in a negative light. An example:, a French Minister (indicated by the French Flag behind him) declaring "The Euro is not a failure" with the caption reading "I'm using the word "not" in its loosest possible sense".
• Barry McKenzie (defunct) – was a very popular strip in the mid-Sixties detailing the adventures of an expatriate Aussie at large in Earl's Court and elsewhere, written by Barry Humphries (aka Dame Edna Everage) and drawn by Nicholas Garland, later a political cartoonist in the heavyweight dailies.

Additionally, currently and in the past it has used the work of Ralph Steadman, Wally Fawkes, Timothy Birdsall, Martin Honeysett, Willie Rushton, Gerald Scarfe, Bill Tidy, Robert Thompson, Ken Pyne, Geoff Thompson, "Jerodo", Ed McLauchlan, "Pearsall", Kevin Woodcock, Brian Bagnall and Kathryn Lamb.

[edit] Frequent targets

While politicians are frequent and easy targets for the magazine, there have been other figures singled out for various kinds of treatment.

[edit] The Royals

• Queen Elizabeth II is always referred to as "Brenda", and the Prince of Wales as "Brian". This is a result of the 1969 BBC documentary Royal Family, after which the magazine gave each member of the Royal Family working class nicknames, as though they were characters in a soap opera. The Duke of Edinburgh is "Keith", the late Princess Margaret was "Yvonne", and the late Diana, Princess of Wales was dubbed "Cheryl".

[edit] Prime Ministers

• Harold Macmillan was Prime Minister when the magazine began publication. His popular soubriquet was Supermac. This nickname was coined in the 1950s when the cartoonist Vicky on the News Chronicle first depicted Macmillan dressed as the comic character Superman. The original intention was a put-down, but the image became to be seen as an affectionate portrait in the "you've never had it so good" (a misquote) era. By the time Private Eye began publication, Macmillan had been mistreated by the newspapers for years, but the late Cabinet reshuffle often dubbed the Night of the Long Knives and the shenanigans surrounding the succession, with the status of R.A. Butler and the will he/won't he of Quintin Hogg (an ongoing topic) providing much material for mirth and merriment.
• Sir Alec Douglas-Home, Macmillan's successor, was heavily lampooned after Scottish newspaper The Aberdeen Evening Express accidentally used a photograph of Home to illustrate a June 1964 story about a Scottish Baillie named Vass. The Baillie Vass episode gave the magazine an opening to exploit, but the image of an aristocratic earl who was obviously ill-at-ease on television, then emerging strongly as the primary medium for political communication, made Home an common target. Private Eye thereafter affected to believe that 'Home' had been unmasked as an impostor, a position it maintained until Home's death in 1995.
• Harold Wilson was the first elected PM to receive the Private Eye treatment from scratch, as it were. Calling him Wislon, partly because of its sinister sound, but mainly to avoid retribution in the libel courts, the Eye portrayed him as a relentless chancer, climber and self-promoter, for whom being Prime Minister was infinitely more important than anything he might achieve in the office. In a retrospective for The Life and Times of Private Eye the editors compared him to David Frost, who was always accused by the Private Eye crowd of sharing these same motivations, though this was undoubtedly more to do with the pique felt by Peter Cook when Frost became the star of television satire while Cook, who felt himself (probably justly) a better candidate, was tied up with Beyond the Fringe in the United States. Wilson's name tended to be preceded by expressions such as "sensitive", "versatile" and particularly, "pragmatic", suggesting that he would keep changing his positions to please those around him. In later years, after the jailing of the fraudster Emil Savundra, he was referred to as Wilsundra. One front cover parodied the horror movie Willard, with a Wilson-faced rat, and the title Wislard. A major part of the Eye's assault on Wislon was the celebrated Mrs Wilson's Diary, supposedly the memoirs of his wife, written in the style of the then-popular radio drama series Mrs Dale's Diary.
• Edward Heath gained the nickname The Grocer from his role in negotiations over the EEC food policies under the Conservative administration before the Wilson government. When elected PM himself, he was portrayed as a hopeless waffler, mostly interested in sailing his yacht Morning Cloud, and ignoring the corruption of some of colleagues such as Reginald Maudling. Heath's unusual status as a bachelor inevitably gave rise to homosexual innuendo.
• James Callaghan inherited the role of PM from Wilson in 1976. However, he was not subject to a specific parody, and the times were arguably too dark for a good lampooning.
• The Falklands war and high levels of unemployment in 1980s Britain made Margaret Thatcher a popular target for Private Eye. She was also the subject of an ironic piece where she was described as "bewitching... sexual and political power combine to create the perfect woman." The piece continued in a similar vein before ending with the inevitable "That's enough. Ed."

[edit] Other politicians

• Jeffrey Archer, the former Conservative MP (for Louth, Lincolnshire) who was Deputy Chairman of the party under Margaret Thatcher and who later served time in prison for perjury, is usually referred to as Lord Archhole. The Eye has occasionally thrown the spotlight on his wife, the "fragrant" Mary Archer.
• Reginald Maudling was one of the Heath administration's prime targets for contributors to the Eye. The volume rose following news about his role in the Real Estate Fund of America, with its connections to shady Italian-Americans and even to friends of Richard Nixon. His fondness for fine dining led him to be caricatured as a "bloated voluptuary", usually dressed in a nightshirt and sleeping cap, waking only to eat. The constant sleeping symbolized his inaction over the Ulster situation, when he was Home Secretary. There was a famous cartoon in the Eye following Bloody Sunday, which showed Maudling and another, the bubble from the other said "Six-and-a-half brace" and the one from Maudling said "Not bad for the time of year", and this played a part in the flaying which Maudling received in the media and elsewhere over his semi-comatose handling of the episode. Another Eye item featured a spoof dictionary and its definition of the verb "maudle" ("to prevaricate, procrastinate etc.").
• Ian Paisley features on the cover of Private Eye Numbers 186 (31 January 1969), 598 (16 November 1984), 625 (29 November 1985), 854 (9 September 1994), and 1181 (30 March 2007), while his Spitting Image puppet appeared on Number 791 (10 April 1992). He is also referred to on the front cover of Issue 202 (12 September 1969) which showed the young Bernadette Devlin flashing her knickers (an embarrassing picture for Ms Devlin) with the balloon saying "This should get a rise out of Paisley". He is usually referred to in connection with events in Northern Ireland,^[2] whether or not he was directly involved in the issues raised. On the 1967 Christmas record, The Abominable Radio Gnome, the announcer says, "And now a comment from Father Palsy", (to a Protestant, a gratuitously offensive Catholic mode of address) to which the response, in a camp Ulster accent, is, "Begorrah, bejabers and sod the Pope" - "begorrah and bejabers" are phrases only used by stage and comic-book Irishmen, though the phrase "sod the Pope" recurs with monotonous regularity in Private Eye references to Ian Paisley. Consistent with the Eye treatment of Mohamed Fayed and his affected name, Private Eye seldom calls Paisley "Reverend" (he is, but only in the Free Presbyterian Church of Ulster, in which the Paisley family has always had the predominant influence) or "Doctor" (it is an honorary degree of the type not usually bestowing the right to be addressed as "Doctor", awarded by Bob Jones University of South Carolina, a private institution outside the US mainstream which reflects an uncompromising Protestant viewpoint). This is part of a wider Private Eye dislike for Bob Jones University and similar US institutions, criticising them by making a comparison with e.g. McDonald's, which calls its principal training establishment "Hamburger University".

[edit] Prominent figures

• Solicitor-to-the-rich Lord Goodman, a member of Harold Wilson's circle was a favourite target, and he was usually referred to as Lord "Two Dinners" Goodman and also Lord Badman. The Eye saw him as a latterday Cardinal Richelieu, the power behind the throne, especially when the Conservatives held power. From the negotiations over the status of Rhodesia, to his central role in many sources of public money, such as the Arts Council, to the many high-profile lawsuits his firm filed, including those against the Eye itself (see Arkell v. Pressdram), it seemed he was the true ruler of the country. One cartoon showed him as a spider at the centre of a web of money and influence. Another demonstrated his apparent role in making sure that money always found its way to the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden, seen as an elite institution catering mainly to the upper crust, when the public money was intended to bring art to the masses. Goodman's obesity and hangdog looks made him easy to ridicule. There was however, always the uneasy feeling that the Eye might be right about him.

[edit] Businessmen

• Mohamed Al-Fayed is routinely referred to as "The Phoney Pharaoh". Much jest is made of his mispronunciation of the word "fuck" as "fugg", and conspiracy theories concerning the deaths of his son Dodi Al-Fayed and Princess Diana. He is also referred to simply as Mohamed Fayed on the basis that the 'Al-' was added to his name by Fayed himself.
• Richard Branson, the Virgin entrepreneur is a frequent target for his train services and his capacity for self publicity. Usually referred to as 'Beardie'.

[edit] Journalists

• Nigel Dempster, a former gossip columnist for the Daily Mail and The Mail on Sunday, He received much attention, especially in the Grovel gossip section, including a picture of him in flagrante with an admirer. Later it was revealed that he was the major contributor to Grovel at the time. Referred to in the Eye as "Nigel Pratt-Dumpster", "Humpty Dumpster", or "Former GLE (Greatest Living Englishman) Nigel Dempster".
• Peter Hitchens, the journalist's nickname of "Bonkers" was popularised by the Eye
• Derek Jameson, former tabloid journalist, aka "Sid Yobbo" for the manner of his speech and his populist attitudes.
• Paul Johnson, the conservative polemicist and historian was once a regular target and was referred to as "loonybins". During the Sixties, the US President Lyndon Baines Johnson was dubbed Loony Bins Johnson, and the nickname has been applied to other Johnsons. Targeting Paul Johnson was once a favourite tactic of deputy editor Francis Wheen, but deprecating references to Johnson predated his involvement in the Eye by some years. References to Johnson are now rare.
• Piers Morgan, former editor of the Daily Mirror, nicknamed "Moron", is still a regular target.
• Andrew Neil, Scottish broadcaster and journalist, is usually referred to as 'Brillo Pad'. Since the early 1990s, a picture taken of him aside a young, attractive Asian model has featured in nearly every issue, as seen below.
• Peregrine Worsthorne, the former editor of The Sunday Telegraph is consistently referred to as 'Sir Perishing Worthless'.
• Peter McKay, Scottish journalist was a regular target with variants of a story of his attempts to seduce junior female members of staff. Usually referred to as "McLie" or "McHackey" McKay was the editor of Punch magazine when it was relaunched by Mohammad Fayed as a Private Eye spoiler in 1996.

[edit] Entertainment and media

• Lady Antonia Fraser, a sometime actress but now a biographer and wife of Harold Pinter, her high-profile divorce brought her into the public eye, and her views on sex kept her there. She will always be Lady Magnesia Freelove to Eye aficionados.
• Sir Paul McCartney is one of the rock music stars whose deeds and misdeeds are most often reported and attributed to "Spiggy Topes", in his case the attribution is to "Sir Spigismond Topes".

[edit] Newspapers

• The Guardian is inevitably The Grauniad (for its reputation for typos). After a rebrand where the paper's logotype became lowercase, this became the grauniad (minus caps).
• The Daily Telegraph is either The Torygraph (for its support for the Conservative Party), The Hurleygraph (for regularly printing photos of Elizabeth Hurley on its front page), The Hello!graph, or as discussed below The Telavivagraph. The Eye has more recently coined the name the "Maily Telegraph" to mark the hiring of a number of ex-Daily Mail employees.
• The Daily Express was called the Titsbychristmas in 1978; afterward it became the Daily Getsworse or the Daily Getsmuchworse, and recently the Daily Sexpress (its owner, Richard 'Dirty' Desmond, also owns or owned several pornographic magazines and satellite pornography channels). Currently the paper is lampooned as The Di-ly Express due to the perceived obsession of the paper with conspiracy theories regarding Diana, Princess of Wales and her death in 1997, and the volume of weekly, front-page coverage it has given to her.
• The Independent (widely called the Indy) is described as the Indescribablyboring while its sister paper, The Independent on Sunday, is known as the Sindie (cf. Sindy).
• The News of the World is known as The Screws of the World, The News of the Screws, or simply The Screws.
• The Daily Mail is usually spoofed for its obsession with property prices, asylum seekers and scare stories. Sometimes referred to as The Daily Lie. In one cartoon in 2004 the magazine published a Mail-style, scare-story cartoon of a newspaper whose headline was 'what kind of society lets the Daily Mail be published EVERY DAY?'
• The Daily Mirror is known as The Moron. This is probably a pun on the Eye's nickname for former Mirror editor Piers ("Moron") Morgan.

[edit] Other running jokes

The magazine has a number of running in jokes, often understandable only to those who have read the magazine for many years:

• Many letters to Private Eye have originated from one "Ena B Maxwell" who lives at "Headington Hall, Oxon". This was the real-life address of Robert Maxwell, and the pseudonym was actually attached to letters written by the Private Eye editorial team in order to annoy Maxwell by suggesting he was writing to the magazine under an assumed identity. Naturally, these letters were careful not to make any legally-actionable claims, but confined themselves to the safer realms of the silly and impertinent.
• The phrase "Ugandan relations" (or "Ugandan discussions" or "Ugandan affairs"), for example, is a Private Eye euphemism for illicit sex, usually while carrying out a supposedly official duty. According to Brewer's Dictionary of Modern Phrase and Fable (2000) the term is a reference to an incident at a party hosted by the journalist Neal Ascherson and his first wife, at which fellow journalist Mary Kenny had a "meaningful confrontation" with a former cabinet minister in the government of Milton Obote, later explaining that they were "upstairs discussing Uganda". The poet James Fenton apparently coined the term. In 1996, 'Getting Back to Basics' was suggested as a replacement euphemism after the disastrous policy of the same name adopted by John Major's government (see Back to Basics (campaign)).
• Cannabis is referred to as 'exotic cheroots.'
• "(Shome mishtake, shurely? Ed)" is a frequent comment supposedly scribbled into the copy by the editor and mistakenly printed as part of the article. The slurred 's'-sounds have been interpreted as representing drunkenness; however, they accurately reproduce the distinctive speech patterns of "Shir Bill Deedesh" (now Lord Deedes), former editor of The Daily Telegraph (and the eponymoush 'Bill' of the Dear Bill letters). Deedes was notable as an editor for his complete lack of awareness of contemporary slang, culture and mores. Other stock comments from the Ed include:
  • You've already done this
  • Get on with it
  • We've just had this
  • Who he?
  • Oh no you don't
  • What that?
  • Excellent stuff, keep going
  • That's enough [X] (where [X] is the subject or person under discussion)
  • Is this right?
  • You're fired

Columns written by the Eye's fictitious columnists, for example Glenda Slagg, frequently contain many such editorial marks, ranging from messages of disapproval and requests for improvement to eventual sacking ('you're fired').

• "Tired and emotional" was a phrase used to describe 1960s Labour party Cabinet Minister George Brown, who had a drink problem. It first appeared in a 'fake' memo printed by the Eye supposedly informing civil servants how to describe Mr Brown's conduct and state of mind. The phrase – one of many that journalists use to avoid libel actions, due to the near-impossibility of proving intoxication without forensic evidence – has now entered common parlance. In 1957 a trio of Labour politicians, including Aneurin Bevan and Richard Crossman successfully sued The Spectator over just such an allegation, which Crossman admitted in his diary was true of one of the triumvirate. Brewer's Politics (1995) states that the phrase was first used by a BBC press officer of Brown in November 1963, as a description of his condition on a programme commemorating President Kennedy, which the Eye subsequently borrowed. However, doubt must be cast on this claim because the programme on which Brown appeared was not broadcast by the BBC but by Associated-Rediffusion.

• ....Arkell v. Pressdram - a similar euphemism indicating that someone uttered an obscenity. See Litigation.
• On May Day 1965, the magazine held a "Mass for Vass" rally in Central London. Some 300 marchers under police supervision carried banners proclaiming "High-Speed Vass Gets Things Done", "The Baillie Will No Fail Ye", "Hands off the Rann of Kutch!" and (in reference to a former nickname, "Sir Alec Douglas-Who?") "Who's a Cretin?". The march processed from Parliament Square to Conservative Central Office, where, to the sound of a brass band, the participants sang rousing songs in 'support' of Home, to the occupants of the building from the street below. This incident went almost entirely unreported in the national media.
• Fictional quotations from the police are attributed to "Inspector Knacker of the Yard", a reference to knackers' yards, where old horses were sent to be turned into glue and dog food.
• People engaging in lawsuits (especially frivolous or pointless ones) are often said to be using the services of the law firm "Sue, Grabbitt and Runne". Danny La Rue, a well-known female impersonator, responded to a picture of him on the front cover by threatening to "go to the family solicitors, Rue, Grabbit and Son".
• Letters to newspapers such as the Daily Telegraph, from elderly, out-of-touch and reactionary people, are parodied by missives purportedly from 'Sir Herbert Gussett'. Sir Herbert's address varies: in the early 1980s, for example, it was the alleged village of Lymeswold, but as often as not it is a made-up place claimed to be in Wiltshire, Dorset or Oxfordshire. Sometimes the name of the place reflects the content of the letter; for example, when writing on cricket (as he often does) he may live in the Dorset village of Arlott St John, a reference to John Arlott. On many occasions, he will write from the saloon bar of the Lamb and Flag public house (which has a real-life counterpart in Oxford). It was once a popular joke among holidaying readers to send letters to English-language newspapers in their host country, which were allegedly from Sir Herbert Gussett. These would typically bemoan or praise the country in relation to a recent visit allegedly made by Sir Herbert. The culprit(s) would await publication, clip the printed letter, and send it straight to Private Eye, which usually printed them for 'the usual fiver'. This practice has died out somewhat in recent years.
• Old-fashioned Tory MPs were lampooned up until the 1997 General Election in the form of the character Sir Bufton Tufton. Inspired by the unusual name of Sir Tufton Beamish, his out-of-touch attitudes and opinions were more those of Members like Gerald Nabarro, Patrick Wall, Marcus Fox and the Monday Club. Sir Bufton's constituency was usually Lymeswold (the name was taken from a new brand of English cheese invented by the marketing men), but his greediness, laziness, bigotry and incompetence remained constant. He was only pictured once, the Eye used a photo of a real-life Tory MP, which drew an immediate letter from the innocent victim.
• Capita – (a company allegedly responsible for delaying the start of the academic year 2002-3 at some schools by incompetent handling of the Criminal Records Bureau which was responsible for vetting teachers for convictions for child abuse and other offences) is frequently called "Crapita" and "the world's worst outsourcing firm".
• The Serious Fraud Office is often the Serious Farce Office.
• The Department of Trade and Industry is often the "Department of Timidity and Inaction" for obvious reasons.
• The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) is usually called the "Department for the Elimination/Eradication of Farming and Rural Affairs" in the Down on the Farm column and elsewhere in the magazine. The former Secretary of State, Margaret Beckett, was always named Rosa Klebb after the villain of the James Bond film From Russia With Love.
• The magazine itself is frequently referred to as an "organ", providing endless possibilities for sexual innuendo.
• Grapefruit segments – once an infuriatingly-pervasive and out-of-place component of lists (such as features on new cars, etc), now seldom seen.
• The Sizzler – an alleged fried breakfast for sale at extortionate prices on any train journey mentioned. At the first mention of The Sizzler, the article in which it appeared would be sidelined into a recital of the glories and deliciousness of said item.
• (Takes out onion) – a stage-direction used when someone is allegedly faking sorrow (usually used to denote hypocrisy).
• The Grand Old Duke of York, based on a children's nursery rhyme, is used to describe military decisions (such as cut backs). An example would be that the Duke's 10,000 men are being reduced to 100 and they won't be marching up any hills because they don't have any boots.

Running jokes in the magazine include such staples as St Cake's School (run by Mr Kipling, whose motto is Quis paget entrat (who pays gets in)), whose newsletters feature extraordinary and unlikely results and prizes. The notoriously underperforming football club Neasden F.C. is another favourite, run by "ashen faced supremo" Ron Knee and with constant mention of the team's devoted fans, Sid and Doris Bonkers. The club's latest misfortunes curiously echo, in a bathetic manner, the tribulations of major clubs in the national news.

Often, underneath a spoof sports story, the sub-column 'late result' appears, reporting on a match recently played by Neasden. This normally involves an unlikely team, often one related to current affairs. For example, there have been numerous occasions in recent years when Neasden have played Taleban FC. Neasden nearly always lose by a huge margin, often owing to own goals scored by veteran player "Baldy" Pevsner.

Bulleted lists are usually shorter than stated and include two final entries of "Er..." and "That's it." The number 94 is used as a generic boringly large number, e.g. "the awards ceremony, in its 94th year", or the reader may be referred to volume 94 of some highly obscure (and nonexistent) reference work. Spoof newspaper articles are typically ended mid-sentence with "(continued page 94)" to indicate that some activity (or a long-winded person's boring speech) is going on and on. The latter may be shortened to 'cont. page 94', particularly used after the names of those disliked by Private Eye (e.g. "said Jeffrey Archer (cont. page 94)"). No issue of Private Eye has ever run to anywhere near 94 pages.

[edit] Neasden

This unfashionable suburb of North West London is also the setting for various other items and is often given as the origin of fictional letters. The magazine was initially printed in Neasden before being turned away by the printers, which might explain the origins of this joke, although in 1971, Richard Ingrams said simply that Neasden was used "to denote the contemporary urban environment".

[edit] Lord Gnome

Lord Gnome is purported to be the proprietor of the magazine and was originally modelled on an amalgam of newspaper magnates including Lord Beaverbrook and Lord Thomson of Fleet. As the likes of Rupert Murdoch emerged, Gnome accumulated other characteristics as time progressed. His Lordship seldom (if ever) writes under his own name, but issues his proclamations, editorials and threats through a fictional underling named E. Strobes. Reference is frequently made to his noble Lordship's "assistant", Miss Rita Chevrolet.

[edit] Crossword

In the early 1970s its crossword was set by the Labour MP Tom Driberg, under the pseudonym of "Tiresias" (supposedly "a distinguished academic churchman"). It is currently set by Eddie James under the name "Cyclops". The crossword is frequently pornographic and, by all measures, usually intensely offensive. The prize for the first correct solution opened, £100, is unusually high for a crossword and attracts many entrants.

[edit] Andrew Neil image

A photograph of journalist, broadcaster and publisher Andrew Neil (nickname: "Brillo Pad") ran over numerous consecutive editions and still appears very frequently on the flimsiest of excuses. It shows Neil dressed in a tank top with baseball cap and embracing an attractive young Asian woman previously assumed to be Pamella Bordes, a former beauty queen with whom he had had a relationship. The photograph is apparently of an American woman Neil was briefly involved with while in the United States.^[3]

The image usually appears in the Letters section, when a reader compares current events to a euphemistic reference to the image in an attempt to get the magazine to print it. For example, during the outbreak of Asian bird flu, it was suggested that the Eye showed an image showing "correct procedure for handling an Asian bird". Another time, a reader (in response to the idea that the Eye needed to become more friendly to young people) asked for an example of a "juxtaposition of the old and the young brought together in reasonably harmonious union".

It was not originally intended for the photograph to become a running gag, but it became so after it became known that Neil found it embarrassing.

The Eye frequently refers to Neil as "Neill", inspired by the unusual spelling of Pamella Bordes' name.

The photograph has since seen a sequel, a colour image depicting Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Öpik in an intimate clinch with Gabriela Irimia of the pop group The Cheeky Girls, which usually accompanies a Letters page reference to a news story with a vaguely Anglo-Romanian (or Eastern European) angle. However, the Andrew Neil image shows no sign of disappearing, and has recently been appearing in conjunction with the Öpik/Irimia one.

[edit] Phil Space

Phil Space is a fictional writer. He usually 'writes' articles mainly to fill space on the page, hence his name (and similarly Phil Pages, Phil Airtime [a radio news correspondent], Philippa Page etc.). The articles are rarely informative or useful and are often completely irrelevant.

[edit] Trebles all round

"Trebles all round" is a standard conclusion to stories of fat-cats doing deals and getting fatter.

[edit] Non-magazine items

Private Eye has issued separately various associated products. These fall into the following categories:

[edit] Products

The magazine has, at various times, offered magazine-related items for sale to readers and subscribers, such as mugs. Many designs have been offered for sale or as gifts to new subscribers.

• Products

[edit] Publications

The magazine publishes annuals, compilations of popular columns, reprints of major articles and other printed material.

• Publications

[edit] Recordings

The magazine published flexi-disks annually during the 1960s. More recently compilations of these records have appeared, and a CD was issued to commemorate the magazine's 40th anniversary.

• Recordings

[edit] Criticism and controversy

Overall, criticism of the Eye should perhaps be viewed in the light of a remark made to the editors by the director and satirist Jonathan Miller: "When are you lot going to develop a point of view?" Miller once described the Eye's editorial conference as like watching naked, anti-Semitic public schoolboys in a changing room, flicking wet towels at defenceless victims.

Critics of the magazine in the past have suggested that it had an antisemitic tone, perhaps because it refers to the Daily Telegraph newspaper as the Telavivagraph (but also as the Tehranagraph), and frequently lampoons events in the Middle East by writing them up into mock KJV Biblical verse ("And first they visited upon the city of Jen-in in a terrible plague of fire and brimstone, so that many of the Araf-ites and Hamas-ites were slain, even men, women and children"). The fact that the previous owner of the Telegraph, Conrad Black, and his wife and contributor Barbara Amiel, are both vocal supporters of Likud party policies is a possible explanation for the Telavivagraph jibe.

The magazine's 1971 cover showed Emperor Hirohito visiting Britain with the caption "A nasty nip in the air" (subhead: "Piss off, Bandy Knees").^[4] Idi Amin also was characterised speaking in Pidgin English. In the 1960s and 1970s the magazine mocked the gay rights movement as "Poove Power". In recent years, some have accused the "Dumb Britain" section of cultural snobbery, and of sneering at the working class.

However, (as per the remark by Jonathan Miller) the magazine is something of a moving target, which always maintains a fog of irony, making it hard to discern if it is being serious or joking in intent. This even applies to readers' letters, which might be published because they make a valid point, or because the editor believes that the writer is so misguided as to be ridiculous. Many such letters are from irate readers who claim they are so disgusted with a particular article or cartoon in a previous issue that they announce the cancellation of their subscription.

The magazine's irreverence and occasional tastelessness offend some. Upon the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, it printed a cover headed "MEDIA TO BLAME". Under this headline was a picture of many hundreds of people outside the gates of Buckingham Palace with one person commenting he couldn't get hold of a newspaper, and another saying, "Borrow mine. It's got a picture of the car.".^[5] The issue also featured a mock retraction of everything negative that the magazine had ever said about Diana. This was enough to cause a flood of complaints, many cancelled subscriptions, and the temporary removal of the magazine from the shelves of several newsagents, including W H Smith, which had previously refused to stock Private Eye until well into the 1970s. W H Smith was usually characterised in the paper as "WH Smugg", or "WH Smut" on account of its contemporary policy of stocking pornographic magazines.

Similar complaints were received about the issues that followed the Ladbroke Grove rail crash, the September 11, 2001 attacks (the magazine even including a special "subscription cancellation coupon" for disgruntled readers to send in) and the Soham murders. Following the 7 July 2005 London bombings the magazine's cover featured Tony Blair saying to Ken Livingstone "We must track down the evil mastermind behind the bombers...", to which Mr. Livingstone replies ".. and invite him around for tea", in reference to Ken Livingstone's controversial invitation of Yusuf al-Qaradawi to London.^[6]

The 2004 Christmas (issue 1121) issued received an unexpected amount of complaints and subscription cancellations after it featured Pieter Brueghel's painting of a nativity scene, in which one wise man was saying to another: "Apparently, it's David Blunkett's" (who at the time was involved in a scandal where he had got another married woman pregnant). Many readers sent letters accusing the magazine of blasphemy and anti-Christian attitudes, and one ironically stated that the "witless, gutless buggers wouldn't dare mock Islam". Many letters in the first issue of 2005 disagreed with the former readers' complaints, and some were even parodies of those letters, 'complaining' about issue 1122's cover - a cartoon depicting Santa's sleigh shredded to pieces by a wind farm: "To use a picture of Our Lord Father Christmas and his Holy Reindeer being torn limb from limb while flying over a windfarm is inappropriate and blasphemous."

It is easily claimed that the magazine is more interested in ridiculing people than being fair and kind – the magazine's editorship might well agree. Equally, the magazine is seen as opposed to those in power for the sake of being opposed – it has never been in the least bit content with politicians' actions.

[edit] Litigation

The magazine is sued for libel on a regular basis and maintains a large quantity of money as a "fighting fund" (although experience has taught those behind the magazine quick ways to defuse legal tensions, usually by printing a letter from those concerned). As editor, Ian Hislop has become the most-sued man in Britain.

Those who have sued the magazine include many famous names, though as the editors noted, while politicians are a prime target they "tend to take their medicine like men", and the largest number of lawsuits issue from journalists. For the tenth anniversary issue, the cover showed a cartoon headstone inscribed with a long list of well-known names, and the epitaph "They did not sue in vain".

An unlikely piece of British legal history occurred in the case Arkell v. Pressdram. The plaintiff was the subject of an article relating to illicit payments, and for a change the magazine had ample evidence to back up the article. Arkell's lawyers wrote a letter in which, unusually, they said: "Our client's attitude to damages will depend on the nature of your reply". The response consisted, in part, of the following: "We would be interested to know what your client's attitude to damages would be if the nature of our reply were as follows : Fuck off". This caused a stir in certain quarters. In the years following, the magazine would refer to this case as a way of indicating that someone uttered the obscenity, as in "His reply was similar to that given to the plaintiff in Arkell v. Pressdram (proceeding)". Like "tired and emotional" the euphemism has spread far beyond the magazine.

The most famous litigation case against the magazine was initiated by James Goldsmith (AKA Jammy Fishpaste), who managed to arrange for criminal libel charges to be brought (effectively meaning that, if found guilty, those behind the Eye could be imprisoned). He sued over allegations that members of the Clermont Set, including Goldsmith, had conspired to shelter Lord Lucan after Lucan had murdered his family nanny, Sandra Rivett. Goldsmith won a partial victory and eventually reached a settlement with the magazine. The case threatened to bankrupt the magazine, which turned to its readers for financial support in the form of the Goldenballs Fund. Goldsmith himself was referred to as Jaws. The solicitor involved in many litigation cases against Private Eye, including the Goldsmith case, was Peter Carter-Ruck (or "Carter-Fuck", as the Eye referred to him).^[7]

Robert Maxwell (Captain Bob) also sued, for the suggestion he looked like a criminal. He won a significant sum. The editor, Ian Hislop, summarised the case: "I've just given a fat cheque to a fat Czech." Sonia Sutcliffe also sued after allegations that she used her connection to her husband, the Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Sutcliffe, to make money. She won £600,000 which was later reduced to £60,000 on appeal. However, the initial award caused Hislop to quip outside the court: "If this is justice, I'm a banana.".^[8]

A rare victory for the Eye came in late 2001, when a libel case brought against the magazine by a Cornish lawyer, Stuart Condliffe, finally came to trial after 10 years. The case was thrown out after only a few weeks as Condliffe had effectively accused his own legal team (Carter-Ruck and Associates) of lying.

[edit] Ownership

The magazine is apparently owned by an odd and eclectic cartel of people, albeit officially published through the mechanism of a limited company called Pressdram Ltd,^[9]which was bought as an "off the shelf" company by Peter Cook in November 1961.

Private Eye is not the kind of magazine to publish explicit details of individuals concerned with its upkeep (it notably doesn't even contain a "flannel panel" listing of who edits, writes and designs the magazine), but in 1981 the owners were quoted in the book The Private Eye Story as being Peter Cook, who owned most of the shareholding, with smaller shareholdings by the likes of Dirk Bogarde, Jane Asher, and several of those involved with the founding of the magazine. Most people on the list have since died, however, and it's not clear what happened to their shareholdings. Those concerned are reputedly contractually only able to sell their shareholdings at the price they originally paid for them.

Shareholders as of the last annual return, 26 March 2005, are: (note: many of the shareholders have inherited shares)

• Jane Asher
• Barbara Braden
• David Cash (also a director)
• Elizabeth Cook
• Lin Cook
• Barry Fantoni
• Tessa Fantoni
• Ian Hislop (also a director)
• Eileen Lewenstein
• Executor of Lord Farington
• Peter Cook (Productions) Ltd
• Private Eye (Productions) Ltd
• Anthony Rushton (also a director)
• Sarah Seymour
• Thomas Usbourne
• Brock van der Bogaerde.

The other directors are Sheila Molnar, who is also the company secretary, and Richard Ingrams.

[edit] Trivia

• News (previously called The Colour Section) – The logo for this section of the magazine is a donkey-riding naked Mr Punch caressing his erect and oversized penis, while hugging a female admirer. It is a detail from a frieze by "Dickie" Doyle that once formed the masthead of Punch magazine, which the editors of Private Eye had come to loathe for its perceived descent into complacency. The image, hidden away in the detail of the frieze, had appeared on the cover of Punch for nearly a century and was noticed by Malcolm Muggeridge ("Muggo" or "The Guru") during a guest-editing spot on the Eye. The 'Rabelaisian gnome' (as the character was called) was enlarged by Gerald Scarfe, and put on the front cover of issue 69 at full size. He was then formally adopted as a mascot on the inside pages, as a symbol of the old, radical incarnation of Punch magazine that the Eye admired.

• "The Eye lunch" (or "The Old Crappola")^[10] takes place upstairs in The Coach and Horses, a public house known for its association with deceased columnist Jeffrey Bernard. The lunch plays host to magazine staff and visitors who attend to share their inside information.

• Terry Major-Ball (brother of John Major) once complained to Ian Hislop on Have I Got News For You about the price rise of the Eye from 90p to £1. He then noted that it would be cheaper to photocopy the magazine. The price is now £1.50. Assuming that one page can be copied for five pence, the 40 page magazine can be copied for £2.

[edit] See also

• Private Eye TV, a 1971 BBC TV version of the magazine
• Frank, a Canadian counterpart
• The Phoenix, an Irish counterpart
• The Clinic, a Chilean counterpart
• Teacher's diary

[edit] External links

• Official website
• Media Guardian story
• Ugandan Discussions (Unofficial Front Covers Archive)

[edit] Further reading

• Carpenter, Humphrey (2002). That Was Satire That Was. Phoenix. ISBN 0-7538-1393-9. 
• Ingrams, Richard (1993). Goldenballs!. Harriman House. ISBN 1-897597-03-7. 
• Hislop, Ian (1990). The Complete Gnome Mart Catalogue. Corgi. ISBN 0-552-13752-9. 
• Ingrams, Richard (1971). The Life and Times of Private Eye. Penguin. ISBN 0-14-003357-2. 
• Marnham, Patrick. The Private Eye Story. ISBN 0-233-97509-8. 

[edit] References