Sibling rivalry

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For the Doobie Brothers Album, see Sibling Rivalry.

Sibling rivalry is a type of competition or animosity among brothers and sisters, blood-related or not.

82% of people in Western countries have at least one sibling, and siblings generally spend more time together during childhood than they do with parents. The sibling bond is often complicated and is influenced by factors such as parental treatment, birth order, personality, and people and experiences outside the family. Studies have found that of sister/sister pairs are the closest and brother/brother pairs are the most rivalrous, with identical male twins the most competitive of all. Parental and societal expectations of males may lead to more competitiveness and a greater degree of comparison between brothers, as opposed to between sisters or opposite-sex siblings.^[1]

Sibling rivalry is not unique to Western culture. For example, there is an Arabic saying: "I against my brother; my brother and I against my cousin; I, my brother, and my cousin against the stranger".

Sibling rivalry can involve aggression; however, it is not the same as sibling abuse where one child victimizes another.

Contents 1 Sibling rivalry throughout the lifespan 2 Causes 2.1 Psychoanalytic view 2.2 Evolutionary psychology view 3 Animals 4 Famous sibling rivalry instances 4.1 In the Bible 4.2 In literature 4.3 In film 4.4 On television 4.5 In video games 4.6 In manga 4.7 In real life 5 References 6 External links

[edit] Sibling rivalry throughout the lifespan

Sibling rivalry usually starts right after, or before, the arrival of the second child. The older child can become aggressive, “act out”, or regress (act more like a baby). Research indicates that the older child’s personality has the most effect on how they react to a new baby. Children with the closest relationships to their mothers show the most upset after the baby is born, while those with a close relationship to their father seem to adjust better. The child’s developmental stage may affect how well they can share their parents’ attention. Often two-year-olds have trouble adapting to a new baby, because they still have a great need for time and closeness from their parents. ^[2]

According to observational studies by Judy Dunn, children are sensitive from the age of one year to differences in parental treatment. From 18 months on siblings can understand family rules and know how to comfort and hurt each other. By three years old, children have a sophisticated grasp of social rules, can evaluate themselves in relation to their siblings, and know how to adapt to circumstances within the family. ^[1]

Sibling rivalry often continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to parents. ^[3] Adolescents fight for the same reasons younger children fight, but they are better equipped physically and intellectually to hurt and be hurt by each other. Physical and emotional changes cause pressures in the teenage years, as do changing relationships with parents and friends. Fighting with siblings as a way to get parental attention may increase in adolescence. ^[4] One study found that the age group 10 to 15 reported the highest level of competition between siblings ^[5]

Sibling rivalry can continue into adulthood and sibling relationships can change dramatically over the years. Events such as a parent’s illness may bring siblings closer together, whereas marriage may drive them apart, particularly if the in-law relationship is strained. Approximately one-third of adults describe their relationship with siblings as rivalrous or distant. However, rivalry often lessens over time and at least 80 percent of siblings over age 60 enjoy close ties. ^[1]

[edit] Causes

According to researchers at the University of Michigan, each child in a family competes to define who they are as individuals and want to show that they are separate from their siblings. Children may feel they are getting unequal amounts of their parents’ attention, discipline, and responsiveness. Children fight more in families where there is no understanding that fighting is not an acceptable way to resolve conflicts, and no alternative ways of handling such conflicts. Stress in the parents’ and children’s lives can create more conflict and increase sibling rivalry. Parents can reduce the opportunity for rivalry by refusing to compare or typecast their children, teaching the children positive ways to get attention from each other and from the parent, planning fun family activities together, and making sure each child has enough time and space of their own. ^[3]

[edit] Psychoanalytic view

Sigmund Freud saw the sibling relationship as an extension of the Oedipus complex, where brothers were in competition for their mother's attention and sisters for their fathers. ^[6] For example, in the case of Little Hans, Freud postulated that the young boy's fear of horses was related to jealousy of his baby sister, as well as the boy's desire to replace his father as his mother's mate.

Alfred Adler saw siblings as "striving for significance" within the family and felt that birth order was an important aspect of personality development.

David Levy introduced the term "sibling rivalry" in 1941, claiming that for an older sibling "the aggressive response to the new baby is so typical that it is safe to say it is a common feature of family life."^[7]

[edit] Evolutionary psychology view

Evolutionary psychologists such as Robert Trivers and biologists such as W. D. Hamilton explain sibling rivalry in terms of parental investment and kin selection. A parent shares 50% of her genes with each child, and is inclined to spread resources equally among all children in the family. However, a child shares 50% of his genes with a sibling but 100% with himself; so if the relationship follows Hamilton's rule, he should only share resources if the benefit to the sibling is greater than twice the benefit to himself (this is not a conscious calculation, but a genetic coding that unconsciously guides the behavior). So parents try to encourage their children to share, but often meet resistance. Children have motivation to feel both positively and negatively towards brothers and sisters, which may explain the mixed feelings that siblings sometimes have towards each other.^[5]

[edit] Animals

Sibling rivalry is common among various animal species, in the form of competition for food and parental attention. An extreme type of sibling rivalry occurs when young animals kill their siblings. For example, a black eagle mother lays two eggs, and the first-hatched chick pecks the younger one to death within the first few days. Among spotted hyenas, sibling competition begins as soon as the second pup is born, and 25% of pups are killed by their siblings. ^[8]

Sibling relationships in animals are not always competitive. For example, among wolves, older siblings help to feed and guard the young.^[9]

[edit] Famous sibling rivalry instances

[edit] In the Bible

• Cain and Abel
• Jacob and Esau
• Leah and Rachel
• Joseph and his brothers
• Moses and his brother and sister

[edit] In literature

• King Lear (Shakespeare): Goneril, Regan, and Cordelia; Edmund and Edgar
• The Taming of the Shrew (Shakespeare): Katherine and Bianca
• Sense and Sensibility (Jane Austen): Elinor and Marianne Dashwood
• East of Eden (John Steinbeck): Cal and Aran Trask

[edit] In film

• The Godfather: Sonny, Fredo, and Michael Corleone
• In Her Shoes: Rose and Maggie

[edit] On television

• The Simpsons: Bart and Lisa Simpson
• Frasier: Frasier and Niles Crane
• Friends: Ross and Monica Geller
• Malcolm in the Middle: The Brothers; mainly Malcolm and Reese
• Arthur (Marc Brown): Arthur and D.W. Read
• Arrested Development: Michael and Gob Bluth
• Married... with Children: Bud and Kelly
• The Brady Bunch: The Brady kids
• Drake and Josh: Drake and Megan Parker and Josh Nichols
• Family Guy: Chris and Meg
• Even Stevens: Louis and Ren, Louis and Donnie
• Hey Arnold!: Helga and Olga Pataki.
• The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Zack and Cody Martin
• The Boondocks: Huey and Riley Freeman
• Life with Derek: Casey MacDonald and Derek Venturi.
• Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog: Scratch and Grounder.
• Lizzie McGuire: Lizzie and Matt McGuire
• Everybody Loves Raymond: Robert and Raymond Barone.
• Kyouryuu Sentai Zyuranger: Geki (Tyrannoranger) and Burai (Dragonranger)
• Futurama: Phillip J. Fry and Yancy

[edit] In video games

• Tekken: Nina and Anna Williams
• Dead or Alive: Kasumi and Ayane
• Devil May Cry: Dante and Vergil
• Mortal Kombat series: Sub-Zero and Noob Saibot; Taven and Daegon

[edit] In manga

• Naruto: Sasuke and Itachi
• Inuyasha: Sesshomaru and InuYasha
• One Piece: Monkey D. Luffy and Portgas D. Ace

[edit] In real life

• Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine
• Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren
• Christopher and Peter Hitchens
• Liam and Noel Gallagher (Oasis)
• Asha Bhosle and Lata Mangeshkar
• Venus and Serena Williams
• Peyton and Eli Manning
• Cody and Garret

[edit] References

1. ^ ^{a b c} Adult Sibling Rivalry Jane Mersky Leder, Psychology Today, Publication Date: Jan/Feb 93, Last Reviewed: 30 Aug 2004
2. ^ New Baby Sibling University of Michigan Health System, June 2006
3. ^ ^{a b} Sibling Rivalry University of Michigan Health System, October 2006
4. ^ Living With Your Teenager: Dealing With Sibling Rivalry Donna Rae Jacobson, North Dakota State University, July 1995
5. ^ ^{a b} Sibling Rivalry in Degree and Dimensions Across the Lifespan Annie McNerney and Joy Usner, 30 April 2001.
6. ^ Freud Lecture: Juliet Mitchell, 2003
7. ^ The Hostile Act David M. Levy (1941) First published in Psychological Review, 48, 356-361.
8. ^ Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Human Behavior Frank J Sulloway
9. ^ Mothers and Others Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, Natural History Magazine, May 2001.

[edit] External links

• Sibling Rivalry University of Michigan Health Service, October 2005
• How to stop sibling rivalry by Virginia K. Molgaard
• Sibling rivalry: You vs. Them
• Living with your teenager: Dealing with Sibling rivalry
• Sibling Rivalry Raising Children Network
• Siblings in Conflict Film and Text (in German)