Talk:Battle of the Olive Grove of Koundouros

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Battle of the Olive Grove of Koundouros has been listed as a good article under the good-article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can delist it, or ask for a review.

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A request has been made for this article to be peer reviewed to receive a broader perspective on how it may be improved. Please make any edits you see fit to improve the quality of this article.

[edit] Good Article Review

Criteria:

1. Well written
   1. Compelling prose: The opening paragraph should end with a sentence on the outcome of the battle (Franks/Crusaders won, Greek resistance collapsed). The first sentence of "Background" is a run-on sentence and should be revised. The spelling of "Geoffrey" is inconsistent in the quotation from Villehardouin, as is "Kountoura" in the final section. "Peloponnese" is generally referred to with the definite article in English: "the Peloponnese". I've made some emendations to the English translation to make it more grammatical; please revert me if I've erred.
   2. Logical structure: The duplicate "Sources" section is rather confusing. Perhaps it would be best to move the latter section into "References", or rename the first section "Chroniclers", or both.
   3. MoS: Seems fine.
   4. Jargon explained: Such little as there is, yes.
2. Accurate and verifiable
   1. Referenced: Yes
   2. Inline citations: Yes
   3. Sources reliable: Yes
   4. Original research: not apparent.
3. Broad coverage
   1. Addresses all major aspects: As far as I can tell (it's a rather limited topic).
   2. Trivia: None.
4. NPOV
   1. Viewpoints unbiased: Yes.
   2. All significant POVs present: Yes.
5. Stable: Yes. (Most activity from author's and my recent upgrades to GAC status).
6. Images: Single suitably-tagged image of a typical olive grove in Greece. Pass.

Please address my concerns in re. point 1 and I would be happy to pass this as a Good Article. Choess 03:38, 8 November 2006 (UTC)

Some notes about items mentioned in the quite diligent review:

• Images: Please note that there is also the geographic location image.
• Logical structure: Reasonable comment. We should find a way to amend this. DONE
• Compelling prose:
  • The opening paragraph should end with a sentence on the outcome of the battle: Very reasonable comment.DONE
  • The first sentence of "Background" is a run-on sentence and should be revised: This is correct. DONE
  • The spelling of "Geoffrey" is inconsistent in the quotation from Villehardouin, as is "Kountoura" in the final section: Reasonable comment but variant spellings are fact of life.
    • Geoffroi is translated today as Geoffrey. T. Smith 1829, translated it as Geoffry. As a quotation, it should stay as it is, so should the current translation.
    • Various spellings of "Kountoura/Koundouras/Koundouros" are used in the bibliography, due to facts such as: (i) in Greek words are inflected, (ii) "nt" sounds like "nd" and (iii) names in "-as" can also be used with the suffix "-os". Variant spellings are clearly indicated in the beginning of this article though.
  • "Peloponnese" is generally referred to with the definite article in English: "the Peloponnese":
    • "Messinia, Peloponnese" I guess is OK
    • "the Theme of Peloponnese" I also guess is OK
    • "all the castles and cities of Peloponnese" Any problem here?
    • "the conquest of Peloponnese" Or here? If yes, please change accordingly
  • I've made some emendations to the English translation to make it more grammatical; please revert me if I've erred.: I translated word to word to maintain the original text as much as possible. In the case of "That and only war the Romans did", the form "That was the only war the Romans made" is grammatically better, while the former version is more accurate, closer to the poetic style of the original text (and unfortunately reminding Yoda-speak). I will not revert this, but I present it here. Someone else (Yoda himself probably...) might prefer the crude version so much that he or she will make the change.

--FocalPoint 07:51, 8 November 2006 (UTC)

OK. I changed it to "the Peloponnese" in the last two instances and changed the verb for what William did in establishing the principality of Achaea. I've promoted this to Good Article. Congratulations! Choess 23:58, 9 November 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Addition

The addition was OK, but it implies that Geoffrey I Villehardouin came along with William of Champlitte from Costantinople. This is not correct, since Geoffrey came from Palestine, on his way back to France. I plan to fix this later, but I want to think the best way to phrase it. If anyone gets to do it first, fine.--FocalPoint 19:09, 18 January 2007 (UTC)