Camelot (Goodies episode)

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The Goodies episode
"Camelot"

Episode №	28
Airdate	1 December 1973 (Saturday — 8.00 pm)
Director
Producer
Guest star(s)	Alfie Bass as the "Town Planner"
Series IV December 1, 1973 – January 12, 1974
Camelot Invasion of the Moon Creatures Hospital for Hire The Goodies and the Beanstalk The Stone Age Goodies in the Nick The Race
List of The Goodies episodes

Camelot is an episode of the British comedy television series The Goodies.

1 Plot
2 Quotes
3 Song written and sung by Bill Oddie
4 Spoofs and imitations
5 Trivia
6 External link

[edit] Plot

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Tim says that he is expectng a letter from his Uncle King Arthur. Graeme points out that King Arthur is not Tim's uncle, and Tim responds, "okay, Arthur King", and goes on to point out that his uncle's name is King Arthur on his birth certificate — although Tim does admit that there is a comma between "King" and "Arthur". And the uncle does look 'kingish', and he does live at Camelot — not "Camelot" in Graeme's sense, but "Camelot" as in 31 Acacia Road, Wessex (well .... Solihull). Graeme and Bill mock Tim about it, and Graeme asks Tim if his aunt is Queen Guinevere, and Tim answers "No, of course she's not Queen Guinevere — she's Queen Doris". Tim's other relatives include his Uncle Sir Lancelot, and a parson (the Venerable Bede).

Tim's Uncle King Arthur's heralds signal their arrival by blowing their trumpets, and deliver the letter to Tim by hand. Uncle King Arthur writes that he is having trouble with the local Town Planner, and asks Tim to look after "Camelot" while he and the family are on holiday, saying that he will make Tim the Earl of Northumbria, if Tim succeeds in keeping "Camelot" out of the Town Planner's hands.

Then, the Town Planner arrives (accompanied by two of his clerks — standover men), and he asks the Goodies to sign a release for "Camelot" to be handed over to him (following which "Camelot" can be demolished and replaced by a super-highway). Graeme decides that they should fight for "Camelot".

When the Goodies arrive at "Camelot", which is located in an ordinary suburban street, they are surprised to find that "Camelot" is, indeed, a real castle — complete with drawbridge and moat. Graeme is determined to keep "Camelot" safe, and he decides to open the castle to the public to help with its financial upkeep. Bill walks into the room dressed in medieval clothes — Tim arrives dressed as a jester, and immediately tells lots of jester jokes. Then, Tim and Bill sing (and dance) a duet of the Morecambe and Wise song "Bring Me Sunshire".

The Town Planner then arrives at "Camelot", and Bill signs over the castle to him, saying that Tim's uncle and aunt would like a 'two up, two down'. Graeme is horrified at what Bill has done, and says that Bill should not have sold the castle. Graeme refuses to hand the castle over to the Town Planner, saying that everyone who comes to the castle has to be dressed in medieval clothes. The Town Planner says that he will be back and take over the castle by vacant possession. Graeme says that they do not intend to leave the castle. However, a fire-breathing dragon, and a woman's screams, succeed in making the Goodies do so and, while they are outside, rescuing the 'damsel in distress' from the dragon, the Town Planner returns (dressed as the Black Knight in a suit of medieval armour) and takes over the vacant castle.

To regain the castle, the Goodies fight the Town Planner and his clerks by archery, swordsmanship and jousting (with the Goodies riding their trandem, instead of a horse). The Goodies and their adversaries also fight other medieval contests and, surprisingly, the Goodies end up winning the 'battle' — so they are able to hold onto the castle for Tim's relatives.

King Arthur and Queen Doris and their family then return from their holiday and everything returns to normal at "Camelot" — or does it????

[edit] Quotes

Quote 1

Graeme (singing):

"Roll up, roll up to Camelot in 1973

And tour the Middle Ages for only 50p"

Quote 2

Tim (as the jester): "Once a Knight, always a knight,
Bill: "Twice a night ..."
Tim and Bill (together): "... and you're doing all right!"

Notices on the wall

"An Englishman's castle is his home."
"You don't have to be mad to live here, but it helps."

[edit] Song written and sung by Bill Oddie

"Taking you Back"

[edit] Spoofs and imitations

King Arthur
Camelot
The Black Knight
Woody Woodpecker
Morecambe and Wise — (and their song "Bring Me Sunshine")
Frankie Howerd — (jester jokes etc)
Black and White Minstrels

[edit] Trivia

A Town Planner does actually have the power to appropriate other people's property for public works.

During Graeme's short song ("roll up, roll up"), Tim and Bill start laughing, unsuccessfully trying to stifle themselves. The top of Tim's hat had started spinning again. At the very end of that scene, during the fade-out, a keen viewer can see Graeme lose control and the audience, as well as the crew, fall to pieces.