User:Bowlhover
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[edit] My prayer
My daily prayer to God (I came up with this with User:Ziyi081117, along with a contribution from Keenan Pepper):
God, I thank you for starving a fifth of the world's population.
God, I thank you for torturing so many people.
God, I thank you for the 2004 tsunami, as well as for Hurricane Katrina. It was really fun watching those people drowning and begging for help.
God, I thank you for all the weapons of mass destruction.
God, I thank you for causing cancer. You've destroyed the lives of millions of people.
God, I thank you for creating UV radiation.
God, I don't thank you for sunscreen. That was invented by humans, not by you.
God, if you're even more cruel than me, give me absolutely no sign.
God, thank you for all the colds you've given me.
God, thank you for drowning me five times during my previous lives.
God, thank you for boiling my relatives alive.
God, thank you for all the pain and suffering there is in the world.
God, thank you for tormenting people in hell.
God, thank you for not answering when I ask whether you exist or not.
Coca-cola (that's my alternative to Amen)
[edit] Funny events
- One day in English class, a student was breathing into a plastic bag. The teacher said, "What a great way to earn marks for English, breathing into a plastic bag. If it doesn't kill you, it will get you very far."
- Also in English class, we were given an assignment where we had to research an author. The teacher said, "If you can't find a death date, what do you think that means? It means that the author is still living. Don't make up a death date just because I said you need one."
- From Fenian raids:
- We are the Fenian Brotherhood, skilled in the arts of war.
- And we're going to fight for Ireland, the land we adore.
- Many battles we have won, along with the boys in blue.
- And we'll go and capture Canada, for we've nothing else to do
