User talk:Josefu/Work In Progress/Paris
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You asked for some input but I'm not sure where to make comments. Is this the best page to put them on?
"Paris is the capital of France, located between the three most northerly points of the elongated hexagon formed by its country's coasts and borders. In an oval swath of land longest through its west-east axis, the city is centred on the apex of a northward-bending arc of an important river , the Seine." As an introduction, this is very difficult to understand. You've lived a long time in France and may have forgotten that no-one outside France has ever heard of the "hexagone" as used in connection with France and most probably have difficulty remembering what the word means. If they do remember, it will require a lot of mental acuity to work out where Paris is, based on this unfamiliar geometric shape. An intro is important because it determines whether the reader will take the trouble to read on or just switch to another page, so I thought it would be worth mentioning this. Adrian Robson 10:48, 6 December 2005 (UTC)
