Norm Michaud
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Norm Michaud is a bassist for the Canadian Heavy Metal band Betrayer.
He is also a member of a super secret society known only as JLS. Little is know about this group other than the fact that members frequently converge in the cursed city of Londonia, specifically around the mysterious electromagnetic anomalie known as "Vortex One".
Some cannibal tribes in the Amazon rainforrest call him "Metal Jesus". Some have speculated that he acquired a taste for "rat brains" while staying with these cannibal tribes.
Michaud is also often connected to a race of pan-dimensional reptilian humanoids known as the Torgo, going by the monniker "Alpha Prime", though this has yet to be verified.
It is rumored he can shotgun a can of PBR in under 30 seconds. He is known for downing litres of beer with his close ally CrazyLegs of the JLS crew.
Michaud is often seen questing for egg salad.
Michaud's super power, in addition to his flirtatious charm, includes the application of "Leverage" to almost any situation with spectacular results.
Michaud is also know to have infiltrated different institutions, highschools, universities, health food stores, for the specific purpose to gain "leverage" in one form or another. He is trained in death defying stunts, which he uses to escape different social situaltions. It is rumored that, one time after being asked whether or not he would like a piece of wriggly's peach flavored gum, he jumped in his car, speeding onto the highway near Windsor, Ontario, Canada, and going at 120kms/hour he flipped his car five times and suffered massive trauma to his hips and lower back. It is also rumored that after the accident, Michaud developed a heavy addiction to crack coccaine, though this is still partly unfounded. However, he did say, quote "bananas and cream"
Some critics in the religious right and within the Canadian militia movement claim that Norm's bass performances are actually highly focused electromagnetic pulses used to hypnotize, and thereby dominate, the audience. These pulses are used for the dual purpose of weakening dimensional boundaries so as to more effectively allow the reptillians to cross over into our own reality.