Three-date rule

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The Three Date Rule is a dating rule of thumb which states that the third date is a milestone in determining whether a woman will consent to physical relations.

This is not to be confused with the Three Day Rule cited in the movie Swingers, which states that the "industry standard" waiting period for a guy to call a girl after obtaining her phone number is 3 days, the purpose of which is to not appear desperate.

The Rules suggests that a woman should play hard to get. ^[1]

The exact origin of this term, like many longstanding traditions, is difficult to trace. There are anecdotal references going back to the 70's. The term is assumed to have been created during the "free love" era of the lat 60's/early 70's.^{[citation needed]}

A an anonymous poll carried out by msn.match.com among 5,237 singles reported the following distribution of answer to the question: “How many dates does it take before you become intimate?”^[2]

One: 12.74%
Two: 24.94%
Three: 21.48&
Four or more: 34.18%
Only after marriage: 6.66%

A columnist Tom Blake ^[3] claims there is no 3-date rule for mature people of 50+ years.

[edit] Controversy

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What exactly constitutes a "date" is varies by age and status. For example, among younger people without large disposable incomes, a date can be a simple as a cup of coffee or a drink. As one climbs the socio-economic ladder, the expectations of what is a "date" also tend to increase.

The Three Date Rule is controversial because it reduces dating to an investment, making the comparison to prostitution. An argument in favor of the three date rule is that it would be cheaper to spend (for example) $200 on a prostitute with which sex is guaranteed, as opposed to several dates with a woman where there is no guarantee. Men will argue that given the time-value of money, the 3 date rule is an example of market efficiencies, while women would argue that it's exploitive and objectifies relationships.

However the rule is also invoked by women, often in order to establish psychological boundaries during courtship. Interestingly enough, the application of the rule by a woman is not viewed as objectification, but rather an emotional convenience.

Group dynamics also play a part in the 3 date rule, especially during discussion with peer groups (guys night out, girls night out, etc).

[edit] References

^ Fein, Ellen; Schneider, Sherrie (1995). The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. Warner Books. ISBN 0-446-51813-1.
^ Is the three-date rule in effect?
^ Is There A Three-Date Rule?