Medical Love Song
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The Medical Love Song is a song originally featured on the album Monty Python Sings. It is sung by Graham Chapman of the comedy group Monty Python's Flying Circus.
The central joke of the song is that it is a love song couched entirely in terms of sexually transmitted diseases. Songs are often written about love and/or sex, but this aspect is rarely mentioned.
Diseases mentioned within the song include:
- Inflammation of the foreskin
- Balanital Chancroids
- NSU
- Penile Warts
- Herpes
- Syphilis
- Monilial infections
- Dhobie's Itch
- Scrumpox
- Gonorrhoea
- Scrotal Pustules
- Trichovaginitis
- Snail Tracks in the anus
- Spirochetes
- Gonococcal urethritis
- Streptococcal balanitis
- Meningomyelitis
- Diplococcal cephalitis
- Epididymitis
- Interstitial keratitis
- Syphilitic choroiditis
- Anterior uveitis
- Buboes
Many of these are actually only synonyms or symptoms of other diseseas mentioned, particularly syphilis. Graham Chapman, however, was a qualified medical doctor and so presumably would have the necessary knowledge for this song.
The sad conclusion to the tale comes with the line "I've left my body to science but I'm afraid they've turned it down."
