User:Rebelkass

This user comes from the Land of Lincoln.

This user scored 834 on the Wikipediholic test.

[edit] Rebelkass is born

It all started back in Sealand. I was born to Mel Gibson and Lisa Kudrow. Well anyway, I grew up and learned how to speak fluently in Spanish and Japanese. My real name is not Rebelkass. It is His Royal Highness Prince Charles William Gerlukovich XXLVIII of Ireland. Yeah. My father changed his name to King Zorbax, well, because he's Mel Gibson. Don't you hate it when people type like this? Heh. Quone.

[edit] Rebelkass is a teen...idol

Around not-babyhood-years-old, I designed a clothing line titled "Magnifique - Urban Toddlerwear". To make a long, exciting, romantic, and epic story short, only three people bought the East Side hoodies and the Gangsta/Rasta bootsies. Well, that's life. I grew up to date Raven-Symone for 19 years. But the she left me for Michael Bolton. Darn you, Michael Bolton! So, I was a bachelor for the rest of my teen years. I also had a record released. It did...well, click the link. This is it... I also flopped as a professional wrestler. I went under the psuedonym Hector Guerrero, when I played the Gobbledygooker. God, was that awful. I would be an outcast for the rest of my life if I didn't change my complete identity! So when I turned 20, I did.

[edit] Rebelkass today

I changed my identity. This is who I am now. I am commonly known as Rebelkass. Everybody around me also realized that I have a love for a special treat. So I went around selling those. I'm a guy with just a little money. I'm actually a Novenonagintacentillionaire. That's a real number. Look it up. Anyway, here I am now. Because I don't have a life. Yeah.

[edit] The World is Not as it Seems

Hey! You! I have come here to inform you of the future! I am writing this from the year 2043. I am an old man now, and this is a long story. From what I can tell you now, my first name is Art. I am afraid to say anything else about myself. The Imperialists rule the world. They were waiting until World War III. The article says it hasn't happened yet, but it happens by 2043. Trust me. I was in the British Army, and I am an award-winning soldier. Unfortunately, the Allies did not win the war. China was stockpiling it's population for use in an army. At the time of WWIII, China had a population of 6 Billion people, as opposed to the 2.5 billion of The United Countries of North America (Mexico, U.S.A, Canada, Panama, Guatemala all formed one country during WWIII, in order to have a more powerful force).

World War III started when North Korea attacked America. China was a growing superpower, and saw this as a perfect chance to wipe out America, the only superpower in the world. They had a huge army, too big for anyone to withstand. Even when most of the North American countries joined forces, they couldn't stop China, North Korea, and Russia (who had to join China, after being threatened a nuclear Holocaust if they didn't). The Neo Axis had taken over the world.

I fought in the war, but we lost. Now China rules the world. We had to learn Chinese. Everyone had to be able to recite the Bible in Chinese a week after after the invasion, or else they would have to have a staff inserted into their anus until they died. If they somehow survived, they would have a razor sharp pin inserted into every single body orifice. That's how everyone was tortured. It came to be known as "Anal Hex". Believe it or not, Chinese Water Torture wasn't used once.

I became older and got married, my wife dead of cancer, my children kidnapped by the Koreans. I have an underground association against the Chinese government. We can't win, but it's worth trying. We are the Freedom Alliance. I am Rebelkass. The "rebel" part comes from the fact that I am a rebel, and the "Kass" part... that's from my father-in-law, the president of the UCNA (United Countries of North America), Rick Kassidy. We support him.

Now, I am hiding from the Chinese, writing down my experiences, hoping that someone will read them and reverse this awful future. I hear some Chinamen... I'll write more later!