Running gags on Pardon the Interruption

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The longevity and popularity of the ESPN show Pardon the Interruption, like its sister show Around the Horn, has led to numerous running jokes between hosts Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser that longtime viewers recognize. Some of these are:

1 Current gags
2 Past gags
3 Articles
4 References
5 Links

[edit] Current gags

The Bald Brotherhood: Whenever a "friend" of PTI who happens to be bald (like Charles Barkley) is mentioned or makes an appearance during "Five Good Minutes", Kornheiser will make reference to that fact and call him a member of "The Bald Brotherhood". Wilbon finds Kornheiser's obsession with hair weird, refutes Kornheiser's assessment that he is bald (Wilbon states that he has the shaved hairstyle), and he will either make no comment about another person's hairstyle or, when asked about what a person should do with their hair when it is receding, will decree that they should "take a razor to that, big boy!" Conversely, when a guest with an inordinate amount of hair (e.g., a mullet) appears, Kornheiser will often express jealousy, sometimes exclaiming, "Look at that hair!" 'The Bald Brotherhood' is now outcasting women into their group when recently they both denied Britney Spears to the elite club. They both feel Britney Spears is hurting the name and respect the group has experienced in the past. ^[1]

Beatdown! Wilbon often says that if a person is acting horribly, he says that the person deserves a "Beatdown." Wilbon usually says "I got two words for you: BEAT! DOWN!"

Dap: A term made popular on the show. Dap is understood to be credit, or props, after deserving respect for a performance. As in, "Give my boy some dap!" Dap can also be given for correctly predicting something. The logo for DAP Technologies appears on the set as a play on that, as well as occasionally a small tub of DAP spackle.

"Your boy": When discussing a personality that either of the hosts may or may not dislike, they will be addressed as the host's "boy..." For example, Kornheiser may address Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban to Wilbon as "Your boy Cuban" or "Your boy Cubes."
- Other Kornheiser "boys" include basketball coach Larry Brown (a fellow native of Long Beach, New York, who was once Kornheiser's summer camp counselor), Miami Heat head coach Pat Riley, former Dallas Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells, Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis, Baltimore Ravens coach Brian Billick (who Kornheiser used to call a "preening schmo"), and Oakland Athletics catcher Mike Piazza.
- Wilbon "boys" include Chicago sports legends Mike Ditka, Gale Sayers, Ernie Banks, Michael Jordan and current Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher; Houston Rockets center Yao Ming (who Kornheiser often calls a "stick figure"), and Philadelphia Eagles quarterback and Chicago native Donovan McNabb (who is frequently referred to on the show as "Donovan F. McNabb", even though his middle initial is J.), or in more general terms anyone African-American or from Chicago.
- After Chicago Bulls general manager Jerry Krause broke up the Bulls' 1991-98 dynasty, he hired Tim Floyd as the team's coach, with disastrous results. Wilbon's constant complaining about Floyd being a huge comedown from predecessor Phil Jackson led to Kornheiser calling Floyd Wilbon's "boy."
- Chicago native Isiah Thomas, a Hall of Fame player with the Detroit Pistons, was once one of Wilbon's "boys," but he has fallen from this category during his unsuccessful tenure as general manager of the New York Knicks, including his treatment of Kornheiser's "boy" Brown.
- Another one of Wilbon's boys is Bears QB Rex Grossman (who Kornheiser once nicknamed "Sexy Rexy"), although Kornheiser reminds Wilbon that he once called Grossman a "midget loser".
- Each co-host has referred to Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens as "your boy." Wilbon usually objects when Kornheiser does this, as he has been a frequent critic of Owens' misbehavior.
- Occasionally, one host or the other may refer to "your girl," including Wilbon's appreciation of University of Tennessee women's basketball coach Pat Summitt, Kornheiser's hyping of teenage golf prodigy Michelle Wie, and Kornheiser's apparent dating interest in elderly women such as Justice Ginsberg. Wilbon referred to Rosie O'Donnell as Kornheiser's newest "girl". Wilbon's newest girl is Britney Spears after shaving her head.
- Kornheiser has repeatedly defended the tenure of Detroit Lions president Matt Millen by simply declaring, "I love Matt Millen."

Wilbon on the road: Wilbon frequently does remotes from cities where he's covering an event, particularly during the NBA Playoffs. Kornheiser doesn't like this, saying he hates to travel. Wilbon will occasionally remind Kornheiser that they are journalists, and have to actually cover sports. Kornheiser hates to take all the letters during the Mail Time segment when Wilbon is on the road; he once even made Reali do it. On March 27, 2006, Kornheiser finally had to do a remote and Wilbon announced that he was glad to take all the letters out of the box. Kornheiser and Wilbon are both on the road for Monday Night Football games to accommodate Kornheiser being a commentator for the program.

"Gots to go!": One of Kornheiser's favorite expressions, which he uses for a situation which is completely unacceptable or untenable.

Strugg-a-ling: During a 2003 Sunday Night Football game on ESPN, Joe Namath was interviewed by Suzy Kolber in a sideline interview. Namath, obviously inebriated, told Suzy that he could not care less that the team was "strugg-a-ling" and that he "just want[ed] to kiss [her]". Namath's near incoherent pronunciation of "struggling" is used frequently by Wilbon and Kornheiser. (Reali also uses it frequently on Around the Horn.)

The Yanks and the Sawks!: Wilbon has a dislike for the, in his opinion, overhyped rivalry between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox, and, particularly, how every story about the two teams is overblown, while the same story in the context of another team won't make national headlines. Wilbon will say this whenever a show topic involving the rivalry will come up, using a faux-Boston accent when saying "Sox" to make it sound like "Sawks."
- The apparent (though not definite) origin of this phrase seems to have been in a show dating from October 2003, just days after the end of the 2003 World Series. As the Yankees had made it to the series (losing to the Florida Marlins) and had played the Sox in the ALCS, the headline topic on the show concerned the off-season "arms race" (to use Wilbon's term) between the two teams, specifically the attempts by the Sox to trade for Alex Rodriguez (who ultimately ended up with the Yankees). Wilbon was infuriated that the show had to talk about baseball with the World Series just barely over, and continued to harass Kornheiser about his love of the "Yanks-Sawks" rivalry throughout the rest of that day's show. It's unclear whether this episode was the origin of the phrase's use by Wilbon, but it seems likely that Wilbon's hatred of the rivalry stems largely from the events of this episode.
- At one point in the 2003-04 off-season, instead of just whispering, "PTI!" to close the show, Kornheiser whispered, "PTI loves the Yanks and the Sawks!" Wilbon, using a phrase from the "Men On Film" sketch from the TV show In Living Color, said, "HATE IT!!!"
- During the aftermath of the Chicago White Sox World Series championship in 2005, Wilbon acerbically asked if Kornheiser was referring to the White Sox, instead of the Red Sawks. He seldom brings up the White Sox in that particular context anymore.

Tony's Loves: Kornheiser often makes self-deprecating references to his alleged "old age", saying, for instance, that when he was younger he used to "run with" Engelbert Humperdinck. The most famous manifestation of this is his affection (or professed affection anyway) for such famous older women as Rue McClanahan and Bea Arthur (from The Golden Girls TV series), Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and the "Fragile French Judge" (Marie-Reine Le Gougne), among others. Anytime any beautiful girl is mentioned Tony says he prefers Jessica Alba. Wilbon has dubbed him an "expert" in this field, as he likes to start out the "Happy" segments of the show with a birthday of an older woman.

Tony's Punishment: A popular saying of Kornheiser's (until fairly recently) was that he and/or Wilbon would, upon hearing news of a player, coach, or fan(s) acting out of hand, proclaim that the team/league/police in question should "prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law!" Wilbon occasionally uses this phrase, but generally recommends a "good old-fashioned beatdown!" for the offender. For a while, this was one of the show's most widely used catch phrases, but since early 2005 has been used only sparingly, if at all, by the two.

"You Play to Win the Game": During the 2002 NFL season, then-New York Jets head coach Herman Edwards made this statement during a press conference. This has become a favorite phrase between both Kornheiser and Wilbon, and has been used recently after Herm was on the show. After Edwards press conference on whether the Chiefs backed into the playoffs, the boys brought up the entertainment of Edwards and how entertaining his quotes such as, "You Play to win the game!" are.

The Hate-able Dan Le Batard: Miami Herald columnist Dan Le Batard had a rather cold reception from fans following his first PTI guest appearance in 2004, who deluged ESPN with anti-Le Batard e-mails. Le Batard is a regular guest on the show when Kornheiser or Wilbon are away, and is always referred to as the "Hateable Dan Le Batard". As of late, the show's crew has habitually booed Le Batard during his introduction. In the 1000th episode celebration, Reali can be heard screaming "I hate Le Batard!" from across the studio. Le Batard was also named as one of the biggest turkeys of the year on the 2006 Thanksgiving edition of PTI.

He Who Shall Not Be Named: Kornheiser's nickname for Chicago Sun-Times journalist, Around the Horn panelist, and occasional PTI guest host Jay Mariotti, on account of his feud with Kornheiser.^[2]

Marat Safin's Girlfriend: One Monday in 2004, Kornheiser got hold of video of the girlfriend of Russian tennis player Marat Safin cheering him on at a match, and continually played the video for the rest of that week, professing to have a crush on her. He even went as far as to originate the idea to send Safin himself to the Moon (simply as a joke, of course), to which Reali replied that Kornheiser was "absolutely ridiculous."

Tony's Day Off: Wilbon frequently jokes at Kornheiser's so-called whereabout while off, particularly during long breaks when guest hosts are filling in, and often refers to him "Uncle Tony" or "Old Man Kornheiser."

Uranus!: Kornheiser has of late been very fond using Uranus jokes (as in the "Your anus" pun) on the show, particularly during the show's opening (Wilbon, understandably, finds these jokes highly immature, and often responds with a very loud and sarcastic laugh). On March 26, 2006, the anniversary of the planet's 1781 discovery by astronomer William Herschel, Kornheiser celebrated the planet Uranus's 225th "birthday" during the "Happy Time" segment. On July 12, 2006, Dan Le Batard, on a day when Kornhesier was absent, referenced Kornheiser (as he often does with Wilbon) by making a "Uranus joke" during the opening in response to Wilbon's statement about the Discovery shuttle crew losing a spatula.

The Big KC: References or shoutouts to Kansas City, Missouri whenever Jason Whitlock is filling in as host, usually coming from himself or Le Batard.

Knuckleheads: Wilbon's affectionate term for the PTI audience. Usually used as a send off at the end of an episode.

The PTI Sign: A sign of the PTI logo on a stick held up by Kornhesier at the end of the show. In an imitation of the show's closing animation, he waves the sign in front of his face and whispers, "PTI."

Anthony Joseph Reali: Reali moderates the Over/Under and Odds Makers segments. Rather than introduce him as "Stat Boy," Kornheiser (or Wilbon when Kornheiser is absent or the guest host when both are absent) usually refers to Reali's actual name but starting with the April 10, 2006 episode Kornheiser used Reali's first, middle, and last name. That would soon become a regular occurrence that becomes humorous when Reali is given other middle names, which are the first and last names of famous people.

(See List of Tony Reali's nicknames)

Brothers from Another Mother / Sisters from Another Mister: Kornhesier will sometimes address the audience with these two terms.
The Hot Tub at Wilbon's: When listing three personalities that will be discussed in the Happy Time or The Big Finish segments, Kornheiser will follow up by stating "now that sounds like the hot tub at Wilbon's!" or "which one are you kicking out of your hot tub, Wilbon?" This was used almost every day during spring 2006, but has since ceased. The gag had become so prominent, however, that a sign pointing in the direction of the supposed hot tub still resides on the set.

Bam!: A flashy entry that Le Batard tried to popularize during a run as fill-in for Kornheiser, who put it down immediately upon return. Le Batard may have appropriated the word from cooking-show host Emeril Lagasse. He now calls himself "Dan LeBAMatard!" On November 1, 2006 Dan repeatedly sang (or shouted) "Bam" rather than lyrics to the melodies of various songs just before and after commercial breaks.

Squa-doosh: Currently used by both Wilbon and Kornheiser, and especially by Reali during Odds Makers, to indicate zero (0). Repeated zeroes can result in a double- or triple-squa-doosh. Odds of 100 percent have yet to be described as a "reverse squa-doosh."

Badmouthing the guest behind his/her back: At the conclusion of Five Good Minutes, Kornheiser will occasionally throw to break by saying that when they return, Wilbon will talk smack about the guest behind his/her back. On rare occasions (especially when Kornheiser is on the road) Wilbon will turn the gag around on Kornheiser.

Middle Initial: Some sports personalities have been referred to with the middle initial "F," in place of a profanity, perhaps inspired by Red Sox fans referring to former New York Yankees shortstop and 1978 playoff hero as "Bucky F. Dent." The most notable examples are "Donovan F. McNabb" and Baltimore Ravens head coach "Brian F. Billick."

Tony & the Bus: Wilbon making a crack at Kornheiser's reluctance to fly, usually due to the Monday Night Football schedule. After Week 3, he commented that they had to drug Kornheiser to get him on the plane and back in time for the taping of PTI.

PTI Travel Blazer: Red blazers given to Kornheiser and Wilbon when they broadcast from the Monday Night Football site, which Wilbon has refused to wear since the first week. Kornheiser wears his blazer proudly, which features a PTI logo on the breast. Kornheiser recently offered to retire the blazer if basketball legend Charles Barkley would agree to be a contestant on the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars.

"Stick Figure": Kornheiser's derisive term for Yao Ming when the Chinese-born 7'6" center first entered the NBA. With his high level of recent play, Wilbon currently enjoys reminding Kornheiser of his predictions of failure for Ming, recalling the "Stick Figure" term he used.

Greg Oden: During the 2006-07 college basketball season, Kornheiser noted that Ohio State University player Greg Oden looks older than his years, commenting that he looks like the 'Old LeBron' from LeBron James's commercials. At one point Kornheiser remarked incredulously, "He's been shaving since 1975!"

Dikembe Mutombo's Voice: Wilbon and Kornheiser both express love for Dikembe Mutombo's "Cookie Monster" voice. Wilbon loves to do voice impressions of Mutombo's voice, which Kornheiser eagerly encourages but cannot do very well himself.

Goodnight, Canada: Starting in 2006, Kornheiser started waving a maple leaf flag at the end of the regular PTI show (before the extra Sportscenter segment) and say "Goodnight, Canada." PTI is shown on TSN in Canada, which does not air the last segment. He has said goodnight to a few other countries, most notably using the signoff, "Stay Classy, Finland." This was done as a reference to the sign-off used by Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy in the film Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

[edit] Past gags

Kornheiser's beloved video of the "trampoline bear".

The Trampoline Bear ^[3]: A large brown bear stuck in a tree in Missoula, Montana^[4] is shown being shot with a tranquilizer dart and falling onto a large trampoline, as originally seen on KOMO 4, a Seattle television station. The bear bounces so high off of the trampoline that it, ultimately, lands head-first on the ground below. Reali once appeared on the show as a bear heavily bandaged during the peak of this gag's saturation. Warren Sapp has proclaimed himself a fan of the video and requested it to be shown during an interview in 2004. On January 29th, 2007, Sapp was interviewed on the 5 Good Minutes segment. After the segment was over, he requested the video, which was shown much to Kornhieser's pleasure. Wilbon, however, dislikes the clip immensely. In 2004, it was shown on a semi-regular basis, but is now used only on special occasions. The video was parodied on the January 4, 2007 episode of My Name Is Earl, with Randy Hickey in the place of the bear.

Man vs. Beast: In 2003, FOX aired a one-night reality special called Man vs. Beast, featuring humans that are at the top of their particular athletic field being challenged to a competition against an animal. One such competition was a hot dog-eating contest between Takeru Kobayashi and a black bear, which the bear easily won. Kornheiser loved the program and even spent three segments of the show discussing and reviewing it. He remains especially enamored of a quote by Man vs. Beast color analyst Carl Lewis, who suggested during the telecast that one key to a zebra beating a human in a forthcoming sprint race was that the zebra "focus."

Wilbon's Pants: Early during the run of the show, Kornheiser would make fun of the fact Wilbon always wore shorts instead of pants, while wearing a jacket and buttoned-up polo shirt. Often, the camera would pull back to reveal the fact that Wilbon indeed was only wearing shorts. More recently, during the hot days of summer, Kornhesier has stated that Wilbon is wearing no pants at all. He'll occasionally throw a pant jab out when Whitlock is hosting, which usually gets no response. During the October 31, 2006 edition, Wilbon appeared on the SportsCenter set to tease the next PTI topic wearing a suit with slacks. It was a rare occasion, outside of his Sports Reporters appearances, when Wilbon has ever been seen on camera wearing dress slacks.

"Do the Mavericks have enough defense to win in the playoffs?": During the 2002-03 NBA season the Dallas Mavericks had an explosive high-powered offense that was coupled with a porous, terrible defense. It was debated ad nauseum whether this "outscore the other team" philosophy would be successful in the playoffs to the point where the question "Do the Mavericks have enough defense to win in the playoffs?" was referenced when any debate became monotonous.

Beano Cook: A long-running, though now-defunct running gag involved continual references (often with little or no context) to ESPN commentator and college football expert Beano Cook. (Example: In the December 9, 2003, show's opening, Wilbon announced that Gwyneth Paltrow was pregnant; Kornheiser responded: "Beano Cook, gettin' it done again!") However, neither Kornheiser nor Wilbon has used a "Beano" joke since early 2004.

The Penguin Dance: Kornheiser had invented a so-called "penguin dance" which he started using on the show in April 2006. He claims that it is "sweeping the nation", but Wilbon found it annoying. On May 12, 2006, Bob Ryan filled in for Kornhesier and performed the penguin dance in his absence.^[5] On June 8, 2006, when PTI showed footage of penguins playing soccer, Kornhesier stated that he wants to see them do the penguin dance after they score, and Wilbon announced that he was sick of the clip after just one showing. On August 8, 2006, Kornheiser did the penguin dance, anointing himself the winner of "Toss-Up" before the segment had started in order to doubly annoy Wilbon. The Penguin Dance has been more or less retired as a gag, but on March 14, 2007, Kornheiser did it when Wilbon asked him if he was ready for "the Big Dance" (referring to the NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Championship).