User:Scott Gall/Revenge Made Easy
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OK, so you want revenge. You can:
- do a Zidane-style headbutt on them,
- get a whole lot of stingrays and make them swim about in his/her room,
- make fun of their race or religion if different to yours,
- or read on.
Reader beware: with fun comes a price. As specified in the Fair Trading Act 1986, I am legally obligated to advise you of such prices before you decide whether or not to go ahead, so here goes:
Contents |
[edit] Jelly-John
TOILET A MESS? This one's for you.
Ingredients:
- 2 cups clear gelatin
- 8 cups water
Instructions:
- Stir the ingredients briskly.
- Put in the victim's toilet.
- Wait for it to set.
- Coat with water for a nice, even sheen.
Variation:
- There's always the time-honored classic where cellophane is used instead. It won't cause as much hassle as using jelly, but be prepared for fall-out anyway.
[edit] Shorty Pants
YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF JEANS GONE AGAIN? This one's for you.
Ingredients:
- trousers
- sewing needle
- thread
Instructions:
- Sew the legs together about 6 inches (15 cm if you're a metric person) from the bottom.
[edit] Cereal killer
CEREAL MYSTERIOUSLY GOING MISSING? This one's for you.
Ingredients:
- box of cereal
Instructions:
- Take the bag out of the box.
- Open the bottom of the box.
- Empty the bag into the box.
- Very carefully put it back.
[edit] Flour shower
FLATMATES USING YOUR UMBRELLA WITHOUT PERMISSION? This one's for you.
Ingredients:
- flour
- an umbrella
Instructions:
- Put flour in the umbrella.
Variation:
- Use a different ingredient - but DRY INGREDIENTS ONLY! Cornflakes, sugar, and baking powder make great alternatives.
[edit] Squeeze Me
ALL YOUR TOOTHPASTE GONE? This one's for you.
Ingredients:
- tube of toothpaste
- small bit of plain toilet paper (embossed will work just as well, but not printed)
- white glue
- craft knife
Instructions:
- Open the tube.
- Glue the toilet paper to the opening.
- Close the cap.
- Get the knife and make a small slit to the side.
[edit] Ketchup Mess-up
KETCHUP/TOMATO SAUCE GONE? This one's for you.
Ingredients:
- ketchup/tomato sauce
- 2 tablespoons of baking soda
Instructions:
- Remove some of the sauce if there's too much for the baking soda to fit.
- Put the baking soda in.
- DON'T shake it.
- Put it back in the fridge and wait for results.
[edit] Sunshade
JUST AFTER SOME GOOD OLD-FASHIONED FUN? You'll get it if you follow the instructions.
Ingredients:
- Sunshade (of course)
- Confetti
Instructions:
- Put the confetti in the sunshade.
- Put the sunshade back where you found it.
- Remove any traces of confetti.
- The reason why this step, rather than telling a lie to your victim, is there is because your victim won't believe there was a party in the garage.
Variation:
- Use sand, talcum powder, or another substitute. But make sure it's a dry ingredient or else the victim will get suspicious.
[edit] Snack Attack
FOOD GOING MISSING FROM THE FRIDGE? You're in luck.
Ingredients:
- Fishing line
- Scissors
- Air horn
Instructions:
- Tie the airhorn to the fridge door. Make sure it's touching the next shelf up, and that you've got it touching a food item so the correct amount of space is taken up. Also make sure you have the correct angle for maximum effect.
- Cut off the excess from the fishing line when you have everything right.
[edit] Avalanche
NEED SOMETHING TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY? We've got you covered.
Ingredients:
- Gibraltar boards (plywood can be substituted)
- A whole lot of drink cans
- Electrical tape
Instructions:
- Stack all the cans you can find in the doorway of the victim's room. Put them on an angle for maximum effect.
- After making sure the Gibraltar board (or plywood) is of the size you want, put it in the doorway of the victim's room.
- Use electrical tape to seal the Gibraltar boards (or plywood) to the door.
Variation:
- Use any ingredient that will cause the eponymous avalanche, but one that will not seep under the door. This means using dry ingredients only. If you want to cause some serious injury, shove kitchen weights into the space instead, but if you do it that way, I'm not giving you ANY legal advice when the judge hears the whole story. Neither am I forking out for the victim's hospital care - that's what your taxes are for.
- Even if the ingredient is a dry one, try not to use ones with small particles unless you want it to seep under the door before it is opened.
[edit] Egg Drop
FLATMATES RAIDING THE CUPBOARD? This is your lucky day!
Ingredients:
- A piece of cardboard the width of the cupboard
- About 3 dozen eggs
Instructions:
- Empty the top two shelves.
- Put one can back on the second highest shelf, near the back.
- Lower the top shelf and leave it loose so it can go on a slope.
- Put the eggs in, using the cardboard to keep them from falling. And make sure you don't break them.
- Close the door, keeping the cardboard in place.
- Gingerly remove the cardboard.
[edit] Midnight Snack
Ingredients:
- Chocolate sauce
- Plastic bag
Instructions:
- Put the chocolate sauce in the bag.
- Tuck it under your victim's pillow.
- Put a small hole in the bag so the stuff can get out.
