Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/David Duke

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[edit] David Duke

While I am not a fan of the person, the article and editors to the article have been able to hold NPOV. Further, the article is well sourced without giving undue weight to minority views. I think it is a great encyclopedia article, and reluctantly nominate it for a peer review and possible "A Class" assessment. Electrawn 21:26, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Yannismarou

Very interesting article! And really NPOV! These is my review:

• Section "Youth and early adulthood" needs inline citations and expansions. I think that there must be available sources for these first steps of the particular politician (whom I did not know!). I think it would be nice to further clarify this period of his life. And inline citations go always straight after punctuation-not before not after a gap. And, when you have more than one inline citations in a row, donot leave a gap between them.
• In "Political Career" the prose needs improvement. In general, the flow of the article is not so good. Make the article tell a coherent and well-structured story. In this particular section, you have stubby sub-sections. Merge them or expand them. And create normal sub-sections, using ===...===.
• "Affiliations" is also full with stubby sub-sections and one-sentence paragraphs (not recommended). Work on that. And something else: Affiliation isn't it connected with "Political Career"? "Controversies" as well. You can merge these three sections into one, reconstruct this new section and create sub-sections, improving the poor prose as well.
• And what are exactly the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan? I know Ku Klux Klan, but the Knights? Explanation needed: A few words, one sentence would be enough. Have in mind that ignorant Europeans (like me!) are reading the article! Same thing with the National Association for the Advancement of White People, European-American Unity and Rights Organization and the Brown v. Board of Education decision. Explain a bit!
• Same thing with Ernst Zündel. You link, but I'd like two-three words about him.
• I saw that once or twice you have four inline citations in a row. Until 3 it is OK, but 4 I'm not sure. It is ugly stylistically and not good for the flow of the article. Can't you reorganize them a bit?
• In "Publication" you have 3 lines for one book and three paragralhs for another. I donot like this layout. Expand, merge or re-organize.
• I donot like "Comments on Internet websites" as it is. You can create a more thorough section, describing Duke's ideas and beliefs. This could go just after "Political Career" or "Publications" or it could be merged with "Publications".
• I also think "Public appearances" is a part of his political career. As it is now the prose is poor and the section looks like "trivia" (just like section "Affiliations"), which is not recommended. I think it could also be a part of his "Political Career", either incoropareted in its sub-sections either as a seperate sub-section (and with a better prose).
• "Guilty plea and incarceration" is also very interesting, but it should be connected with the rest of the article. As it is now, it looks like an "orphan section". I think it should go befor his publication or ideology section (if you create one) in connection with his political career. And more details concerning his legal problems would be nice.
• In biographies, I like sections with assessments etc. I think you could create one in this article, especially for such a controversial person. Keepin the NPOV philosophy of the article, you can elaborate on his critics, assessments of his career, positions of his supporters, impact of his activities etc.
• In section "Interregional Academy of Personnel Management" it is not nice the way you link external links. Since you have inline citations, link them through them. And have in mind we donot link external links like that[1] but like that.
• It would be nice if you could find one or two more photos, especially if the article gets bigger.
• If you want to quote any Duke's statement check President Ford or Nagorno-Karabakh War for different ways to quote.--Yannismarou 09:13, 17 September 2006 (UTC)