Bengali wedding

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Bengali wedding refers to both Muslim wedding and Hindu wedding in Bangladesh and West Bengal. Although Muslim and Hindu marriages have their distinctive religious rituals, there are many common cultural rituals in marriages across religion among Bengali people.

Contents 1 Arrangement of the Wedding 2 Gaye Holud (Pre-Marriage) 3 Beeya (Marriage) 4 Bou Bhaat (Reception after Marriage) 5 Phul Shajya (Bed of flowers) 6 See also

[edit] Arrangement of the Wedding

A traditional wedding is arranged by Ghotoks (matchmakers), who are typically friends or relatives of the couple. The matchmakers facilitate the introduction, and also help agree the amount of any settlement.

In older times, the settlement was a dowry to be paid by the bride's family to the groom. However, dowry is illegal and is being discouraged. Even then, it persists, especially in rural areas and among Hindus. There is another settlement to make which is called 'Mahr' or 'Kabin' to be paid by the groom to the bride - which is a religious requirement in Muslim marriages. The amount of the settlement is set so as to avoid too many zeroes in the amount, such as 10001 rather than 10000; the final zeroes being said by some to signify bad luck.

Bengali weddings are traditionally in four parts: the bride's Gaye Holud, the groom's Gaye Holud, the Beeya and the Bou Bhaat. Bengali Hindu weddings have another part called the "Phoolshajya". These often take place on separate days. The first event in a wedding is an informal one: the groom presents the bride with a ring marking the "engagement" which is gaining popularity.

[edit] Gaye Holud (Pre-Marriage)

Main article: Gaye Holud

The Gaye Holud ("yellowing the body") is in preparation for the Beeya.

For the bride's Gaye Holud, the groom's family - except the groom himself - go in procession to the bride's home. They carry with them the bride's wedding outfit, wedding decoration including turmeric paste and henna, sweetmeats and gifts. They also take a large fish cooked and decorated. The procession traditionally centers on the (younger) female relative and friends of bride, and they are traditionally all in matching clothes, mostly orange in colour.

The bride is seated on a dais, and the henna is used to decorate the bride's hands and feet with elaborate abstract designs. The turmeric paste is applied by the bride's friends to her body. This is said to soften the skin, but also colours her with the distinctive yellow hue that gives its name to this ceremony.

The sweets are then fed to the bride by all involved, piece by piece. There is, of course, a feast for the guests. The groom's Gaye Holud comes next, and has the same form as the bridal ceremony.

[edit] Beeya (Marriage)

The actual wedding ceremony "Beeya" follows the Gaye Holud ceremonies. The wedding ceremony is arranged by the bride's family. On the day, the younger members of the bride's family barricade the entrance to the venue, and demands sort of admission charge from the groom in return for allowing him to enter.This is however done in fun, and is not an integral part of the wedding. There is a bargaining between groom and bride's family members on the amount of money of the admission. There is typically much good-natured pushing and shoving involved. Another custom is for the bride's younger siblings, friends and cousins to conceal the groom's shoes for money; to get them back the groom must usually pay off the children. Siblings, friends and cousins also plays many practical jokes on the groom.

For a Muslim wedding, the bride and groom are seated separately, and a Kazi (authorized person by the govt. to perform the wedding), accompanied by the parents and a Wakil (witness) from each side formally asks the bride for her consent to the union, and then the groom for his.
For a hindu wedding, a priest makes couple chant mantras from the holy texts that formalises the following :
i)Kanyadaan (giving away of the bride by the father of the bride or a father figure, could be an uncle).
ii)Saat Phera (The couple walks round the ceremonial fire seven times. See Saptapadi.)''
The actual formalizing of the wedding and the signing of paperworks is now done before the ceremony for convenience. Usually it is carried out on the morning of the wedding and the feast is at night.

At this time, for muslim weddings, the amount of the dowry / Mahr is verified, and if all is well, the formal papers are signed, and the couple are seated side by side on a dias. The brides oorna (headcovering) is draped over both, and a mirror placed in front. The groom is then supposed to say something romantic on what is notionally the first time he has laid eyes on his bride.

Everybody celebrates the union with a feast.

While seated on the dais, the bride's entourage will make attempts to steal the groom's shoes, which they will return for a ransom. Once the return of the shoes is negotiated, the bride takes tearful leave of her family. Finally, the happy couple make their way from the venue to the groom's home, where a bridal room has been prepared.

[edit] Bou Bhaat (Reception after Marriage)

The reception, also known as Bou-Bhaat (reception) or Walima among the Muslims, is a party given by the groom's family in return for the wedding party. It is typically a much more relaxed affair, with only the second-best wedding outfit being worn.

It's a lot like the wedding, the bride and groom however receive and see off guests and dine together. After the party, the bride and groom go to the bride's family house for two nights. On the second day, the groom's family are invited to the bride's house for a meal, and they leave with the bride and groom. This meal is called "Firani".

[edit] Phul Shajya (Bed of flowers)

This is considered the last stage of the wedding. Phul Shajya literally translates into Bed of flowers.For this ceremony the bride wears a lot of floral ornaments and their marriage bed is decorated with flowers by the groom's family. This is the night of consummation.

[edit] See also

• Marriage
• Gaye Holud
• Culture of Bangladesh
• Culture of West Bengal