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Michael Hays was born Christmas Day on the lonely moors of eastern Romania. Dreaming of a life beyond his family's ancestral turnip farm, he left home in 1993, working his way to America as a deckhand on various gay party boats. His travels soon led him to the sleepy coal towns of West Virginia, where he found employment entertaining local miners with his slapstick comedy stylings. Michael now resides in Morgantown, WV, where his violently conservative political views have gained him the status of a local celebrity. However, history may remember him best as America's first black senator.
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