Seduction community

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Notable members of the seduction community
Neil Strauss (Style)
David DeAngelo
Juggler
Mystery
Ross Jeffries
Lance Mason
Zan

The seduction community is a loose-knit subculture of men who strive for better sexual and romantic success with women through self-improvement and a greater understanding of social psychology.^[1] It exists largely through Internet forums and groups, as well as over a hundred local clubs, called "lairs" ^[2]. Supporters refer to the subculture simply as 'the community'^[3] and often call themselves "pickup artists."

The seduction community has received an increasing amount of press-coverage, largely since the publication of The Game, by journalist and pickup artist Neil Strauss (nicknamed "Style"), reached the New York Times' bestseller list. Strauss compares the community to a "men's self-help movement."^[4]

Contents 1 History 2 Concepts 3 Practices 3.1 Approaching and opening 3.2 Interacting with women 3.3 Field Reports 4 Controversy 5 In popular culture 6 Controversy within the community 7 Commercialization 8 See also 9 References

[edit] History

The seduction community's origins date back to Eric Weber's 1970 book How to Pick Up Girls.[1] In the 1980's, two California self-help gurus began selling their own advice for meeting attractive females. One, who calls himself "R. Don Steele", is influenced by Ayn Rand and focuses on helping men over 35 meet younger women. Another, Ross Jeffries, promotes a collection of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques called "Speed Seduction" (SS). In 1994, Lewis De Payne, then a student of Jeffries and an associate of Kevin Mitnick, founded the newsgroup alt.seduction.fast ("ASF"). [2] This then spawned a network of other Internet discussion forums, email lists, blogs, and sites where seduction techniques could be exchanged.^[5][6]. As the original alt.seduction.fast became overwhelmed with spam, a group called "Learn the Skills Corporation" developed a moderated alternative known as "Moderated ASF" (commonly "mASF"), which reports a membership of 20,000.^[7]

Other seduction teachers emerged with competing methods. The emergent theories coalesced on the usenet newsgroups before being systematically taught by teachers. Two of the most notable of these new teachers were Mystery and David DeAngelo. Mystery is a magician who applied many of the social skills used in stage performance to the art of seduction, creating the Mystery Method. Many of the terms used by the community like "set" and "routine" are taken from the performing arts. David DeAngelo, a former student of Ross Jeffries, is best known for a technique called 'Cocky and Funny'. These, and other teachers, are often referred to as "seduction gurus" or "gurus".^[8] Other notable "seduction gurus" go by names such as Juggler, IN10SE (or Twotimer), Badboy, Shark, PlayboyLA ^[9], Tyler Durden, Carlos Xuma, Swinggcat, Franco Barbeite, Thundercat, Sinn, puaL, Savoy and Zan.

[edit] Concepts

Supporters typically believe that the conventional dating advice for men is fatally flawed^[10]. For example, they reject the notion that men should attempt to woo women by spending money on them (e.g. buying drinks, presents, jewelry), calling it 'supplication'^[11]. They also discourage flattery^[12]. They believe that physical looks are less important to women in selection of a partner than they are to men, as evidence by top gurus who rated poorly with their looks on a Hot or Not style of website.^[13]

Most active members of the seduction community work on their "game" (seduction skills) by improving their confidence and self-esteem (termed "inner game"), their social skills and understanding of female psychology ("outer game") and their physical appearance (physical fitness, fashion sense, grooming). One's "game" is refined through regular practice ^[14], with the belief that the abilities needed to interact with women can be learned.

The seduction community has a unique set of acronyms and jargon for describing male-female dynamics and social interaction^[15]. For example, "AFC" stands for Average Frustrated Chump (a term coined by Ross Jeffries to describe males who are clueless and incompetent with women). "AMOG" stands for "Alpha-Male Other Guy" (or Alpha-Male Of the Group): a reference to a competing male considered a threat. Some of the concepts in the community are borrowed from other disciplines, such as the concept of social proof from the psychology of influence, and various concepts from sociobiology and evolutionary psychology (such as the term "alpha male"). Books such as The Red Queen by Matt Ridley, Sperm Wars by Robin Baker, and The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller are frequently cited in the community.

[edit] Practices

In The Game, Neil Strauss documents various practices that occur in the seduction community. Members of the community believe in achieving success with women through scientific and empirical means, rather than by relying on good looks or intuitive instinct, or by following societal courtship conventions. The practice of going out with the purpose of meeting females is known as "sarging", a term invented by Ross Jeffries. A pickup artist can "sarge" alone, or with a wingman.

[edit] Approaching and opening

Pickup artists begin an interaction with women they don't know by approaching them. There are many different types of "approaches." Approaches can be directed towards women who are in groups, or alone, and pickup artists can approach on their own or with their wingmen. Approaching can be "direct" (in communicating sexual interest), or "indirect." Approaching can also happen when a woman gives an "approach invitation" (abbreviated "AI"), a favorable body language signal, like eye contact or a smile. "Cold approaching" occurs when the "target" has not given such a notice to the pickup artist. Pickup artists approach either verbally, or nonverbally. Most pickup artists report going through a stage of "approach anxiety" while learning to approach women. Initiating a conversation is called "opening," and whatever the pickup artist says while opening is called an "opener." Openers can be "canned" (prepared in advance), or improvised. Members of the seduction community often practice approaching and opening repetitively; some have done thousands of approaches. Strauss describes a pickup artist who did 125 approaches in one day.^[16]

[edit] Interacting with women

After approaching and opening, pickup artists attempt to engage the women in conversation. The moment where a woman (or group) decides that they want to continue the interaction with the pickup artist is called the "hook point" (origin: Neil Strauss). Members of the seduction community employ various techniques designed to develop attraction and rapport with the women they are having a conversation with (and the groups these women are in). Techniques can be "canned" (pre-scripted), or "natural" (improvised). These techniques include:

• "Negs," i.e. remarks, such as backhanded compliments, that are designed to actively demonstrate disinterest and "falsely disqualify" the pickup artists as potential suitors. Negs are generally advocated for attractive and very attractive women. They are intended for numerous purposes, including slightly lowering a girl’s self-esteem so she’s more vulnerable to pickup, displaying higher value, or for lowering a girl’s "bitch shield" (i.e. hostile attitude to potential suitors), etc.(main article: Mystery Method)
• "Cocky & Funny," i.e. statements that combine humor and arrogance. (main article: David DeAngelo)
• "Kino," i.e. physical touching (origin: Ross Jeffries, from the word kinesthesia)
• Using routines, i.e. pre-scripted conversations, or actions. An example would be a pickup artist telling a story (sometimes true, sometimes verbatim from a pickup guru) about himself which has been scripted in advance.
• Patterns, i.e. hypnotic language derived from sales and NLP designed to influence a woman's subconscious mind, to seduce her, or to otherwise condition her without her knowledge. Patterning can be done spontaneously though is usually completely scripted in advance. (Ross Jeffries, Major Mark, Bishop, many others)
• Humorous banter
• "Eliciting values," i.e. finding out what is important to a person, and what they desire. Eliciting values is a technique from NLP for making patterns and other techniques more effective at influencing a person. Rather than using a canned pattern in which someone is lead through a predetermined sequence of states, eliciting values uses specific sequences of questions to find out a person's "internal roadmap" that leads to a certain state, and then the pickup artist attempts to "lead" them to that state. Eliciting values is also used to screen for traits that the pickup artist is looking for in women he interacts with, and to assess compatibility if he is looking for a relationship. Alternatively, eliciting values can be used to gain rapport. (origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder)
• "AMOG destroyers," (or "AMOGing," "AMOG tactics") i.e. dealing with competing males in the group with backhanded compliments or subtle jibes, such as picking an item of clothing they are wearing and making fun of them for it. "AMOG" stands for "Alpha Male Other Guy (or Alpha Male of Group)," and "AMOG" can also be used as a verb: to "AMOG" someone. AMOG destroyers are designed to establish oneself as the dominant person in the group. A lot of AMOGing comes from simply not acknowledging the other person. (Origin: Tyler Durden.)

Different styles of pickup and seduction use different degrees of structuring interactions. For example, Mystery Method employs a high degree of structure and conceptualizes interaction with women in a series of three stages, viz. attraction, comfort, and seduction, which are each subdivided into three stages also.

[edit] Field Reports

Some pickup artists in the community write up "Field Reports" ("FRs") and "Lay Reports" ("LRs") detailing their experiences with women which they share on Internet forums for constructive criticism, or to serve as examples for others.^[17]. Others, notably Mystery^[18] and Stevie PUA^[19] have released 'sarge' audio of themselves 'sarging' in the field as a model to others. Some audio has included 'full closes' (i.e. sex).

[edit] Controversy

The seduction community has been receiving increased media attention ^{[20] [21] [22] [23]}, especially since the publication of Neil Strauss' article on the community in the New York Times ^[24], and his bestselling memoir The Game. Response to the community has been varied. The seduction community has been called misogynistic, and a review of The Game characterizes the community as "a puerile cult of sexual conquest," and calls its tactics "sinister" and "pathetic." ^{[25] [26]} According to a review of The Game in the San Francisco Chronicle, "if women in the book are sometimes treated as a commodity, they come out looking better than the men, who can be downright loathsome — and show themselves eventually to be pretty sad, dysfunctional characters."^[27]

Feminists tend to be critical of the seduction community. Beatrix Campbell says that The Game "sexually objectifies women," and argues that, "in a way these courses are helping men to be a bit less useless in their engagement with women, using charm and a bit of ingenuity to seduce. But the only thing that will help them in relationships is empathy and liking women."^[28] According to an article in Eye Weekly, some feminists believe that pickup "isn't just cheesy; it's offensive."^[29] The article says that "one writer on feministblogs.org offered an alternative to the formula used by expert PUAs: "Shake my hand. [Say] 'Hi, my name is...' Treat me like a human being. Avoid seeing women as conquests and men as competition." Strauss responds, "If that worked, I wouldn't have had to write this book."

An article in the Houston Press claims that the seduction community "isn't the lechfest it might sound like." The article quotes the webmaster of fastseduction.com defending the community: "It's no more deceptive than push-up bras or heels or going to the gym to work out…This isn't just a game of words and seduction, it's an overall life improvement." ^[30] Strauss says, "I really think all of these routines and manipulations are just a way for a guy to get his foot in the door so that if a woman connects with him, she can still choose him," and that seduction techniques "can be used for good or evil!" ^{[31] [32]} He argues that "women are incredibly intuitive — the creepy guys with bad intentions don't do nearly as well as the guys who love and respect women."^[33]

Several writers describe observing men in the seduction community first-hand. Some women recount experiences with men they believed to be pickup artists who tried to "pick them up," and some men recount trying out pickup techniques. A columnist for The Independent describes a negative experience with a man she believed was a pickup artist and used a lot of "negs" on her: "The problem is that some guys clearly don't know when to quit."^[34] An article in San Francisco Magazine recounts the experience the blogger "Dolly," who is the "author of the popular sex blog The Truth about Cocks and Dolls" had with the seduction community. According to the article, Dolly was:

“

[...] put off by PUAs at first. But after she met more, including two from San Francisco, she wrote a letter to the Village Voice defending them, in response to the paper’s negative article on the subject in March. “PUAs try to create a fun, positive, and exciting experience for the woman,” Dolly wrote. “The credo many follow is ‘Leave her better than you found her.’ What’s so bad about that? That they want to get laid, too? Guess what? Guys have always wanted sex and will continue to want sex. You can’t fault them for finally discovering methods that are successful.[35]

”

Jaimal Yogis, author of the article reports trying out some of the teachings of PickUp 101 and describes "having an epiphany: I can talk to anyone."^[36] For an article for the Times Online, Hugo Rifkind participated in a seminar by Neil Strauss.^[37] Rifkind describes initially struggling with seduction techniques, eventually learning to attract women's interest, and then feeling guilty. Rifkind writes, "After a little more practise, my 'game' is improving dramatically. I can open with fluency, and there’s an injection of confidence which comes from knowing exactly what you are going to say next." When he attracts a woman's attention, "she is — quite honestly — looking at me like I’m the most fascinating person she’s ever met. As a human being and, perhaps more crucially, as somebody with a girlfriend, I feel like absolute scum."

[edit] In popular culture

• Columbia Pictures is making a movie based on The Game.^[38]
• There is a prospective reality TV show The First Three Minutes^[39] in the works, in which pickup artists from the seduction community help other men to pickup and seduce women.
• The episode "The Score" in season 4 of CSI: Miami involves a guru teaching his students.^[40]
• A UK produced TV show called "Seduction School" was produced, in which three very physically different guys were instructed by Juggler.^[41]
• In the movie Magnolia, Tom Cruise stars as seduction guru Frank T.J. Mackey, author of Seduce and Destroy, a character reportedly based on Ross Jeffries.
• In the show "Keys to the VIP" (a show where men compete as "players"), the pickup judge "Peachez" uses the term "seduction community" (episode 5) and he regularly uses concepts from it (e.g. "rapport" and "closing") while commenting on the contestants.

[edit] Controversy within the community

Despite being called a "community," the seduction community is not homogeneous and contains various schools of thought and internal controversies. For example, in The Game, Neil Strauss claims that some of the men in the community are becoming what he calls "social robots"^[42]:

“

Some guys give up everything — school, work, even GFs — to learn to sarge better. But all these things ALLOW you to sarge better, because they make you a more COMPLETE person. A problem I've noticed amongst some of the most dedicated posters here, especially those who got into ASF in their teens or early 20s, is that they have INVENTED themselves through this theory. They are, to some degree, SOCIAL ROBOTS. And, after a great 20 minute set, it begins to show through to an HB ["Hot Babe"] that you don't have anything MORE going for you. The other problem with being a social robot is that you start to think that everyone else around you is one too, and begin to read TOO MUCH into their actions.

”

An example of "social robot" behavior that Strauss discusses in The Game is the excessive or inappropriate use of "AMOG destroyers", even on friendly males, and the attitude of viewing all other men as threats.

[edit] Commercialization

The media attention and rapid growth of the seduction community has lead to commercialization and competition. Teachers of seduction tactics sell workshops, books, e-books, DVDs, and CDs over the internet. In The Game, Strauss describes the competition between seduction gurus. Although as according to one non-commercial source, "the original spirit of the community is, however, still a non-commercial one where brother helps brother and secret information is still passed around from hand to hand."

[edit] See also

• Masculism
• Seduction
• alt.seduction.fast
• Average frustrated chump
• Love shyness

[edit] References

1. ^ http://comment.independent.co.uk/columnists_m_z/rowan_pelling/article310137.ece
2. ^ http://www.fastseduction.com/lairpage.shtml
3. ^ http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1148354,00.html
4. ^ Morris, Dave. "Get laid, get fucked", The Eye Weekly, 2005-10-13. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
5. ^ "He Aims! He Shoots! Yes!!", Neil Strauss, New York Times, 25 January 2004
6. ^ http://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/02.08.06/nlp-0606.html
7. ^ http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2005-06-02/news/feature_full.html
8. ^ http://www.montrealmirror.com/2005/071405/news2.html
9. ^ Stephen Nash Interview with The Attraction Chronicles Blog
10. ^ http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/masfwiki.cgi?Introduction
11. ^ http://www.fastseduction.com/asf-faq.shtml#q046
12. ^ http://www.montrealmirror.com/2005/071405/news2.html
13. ^ http://puapics.white.prohosting.com/ratings.html
14. ^ http://www.macleans.ca/culture/books/article.jsp?content=20050829_111329_111329
15. ^ http://www.montrealmirror.com/2005/071405/news2.html
16. ^ Strauss, Neil, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (2005), ISBN 0-06-055473-8, p. 298
17. ^ Strauss, Neil, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (2005), ISBN 0-06-055473-8
18. ^ Mystery Method
19. ^ http://www.geocities.com/stevie_pua
20. ^ http://www.latimes.com/features/lifestyle/cl-et-game31aug31,0,1782296.story?
21. ^ http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,20029-1766167,00.html
22. ^ http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/s2.cfm?id=1923372005
23. ^ Ganahl, Jane. "Ahead of the game: Rock scribe Neil Strauss became an unlikely master of seduction, and he's helping other shy guys do the same", San Francisco Chronicle, 2005-11-25. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
24. ^ http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F00610FB355D0C768EDDA80894DC404482
25. ^ Ganahl, Jane. "Ahead of the game: Rock scribe Neil Strauss became an unlikely master of seduction, and he's helping other shy guys do the same", San Francisco Chronicle, 2005-11-25. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
26. ^ http://books.guardian.co.uk/reviews/biography/0,6121,1577189,00.html
27. ^ Ganahl, Jane. "Ahead of the game: Rock scribe Neil Strauss became an unlikely master of seduction, and he's helping other shy guys do the same", San Francisco Chronicle, 2005-11-25. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
28. ^ Johnson, Andrew. "Passing on 'foolproof' pick-up tips. Is this 'grooming' for adults?", The Independent, 2005-8-28. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
29. ^ Morris, Dave. "Get laid, get fucked", Eye Weekly, 2005-10-13. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
30. ^ http://www.houstonpress.com/Issues/2005-06-02/news/feature_full.html
31. ^ http://www.macleans.ca/culture/books/article.jsp?content=20050829_111329_111329
32. ^ http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/s2.cfm?id=1923372005
33. ^ Ganahl, Jane. "Ahead of the game: Rock scribe Neil Strauss became an unlikely master of seduction, and he's helping other shy guys do the same", San Francisco Chronicle, 2005-11-25. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
34. ^ Townsend, Catherine. "Negging will get you nowhere", The Independent, 2006-3-28. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
35. ^ Yogis, Jaimal. "What does it take to get a date in this town?", San Francisco Magazine, 2006. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
36. ^ Yogis, Jaimal. "What does it take to get a date in this town?", San Francisco Magazine, 2006. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
37. ^ Rifkind, Hugo. "Operation Pick-Up", Times Online, 2005-9-3. Retrieved on 2006-12-22.
38. ^ http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002074610
39. ^ http://www.run2three.com/f3m.htm
40. ^ http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2006-08-14-pick-up-school_x.htm
41. ^ "Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter." Channel 4. 2006-8-3. Retrieved 2006-11-27.
42. ^ Neil Strauss' original "Social Robots" post