Chuck Norris Facts
Wikipedia
Chuck Norris Facts är ett internetfenomen där människor hittar på satiriska "fakta" om kampsportaren och skådespelaren Chuck Norris. Dessa "fakta" innehåller ofta absurda överdrifter om Norris hårdhet, attityd, manlighet och maskulinitet, ett exempel:
- According to the Laws of Physics, it is impossible for Chuck Norris to build more muscle. Upon realizing this, Chuck Norris swiftly roundhouse kicked every law of physics known to man, as well as those known only by Chuck Norris. He now has the ability to will his muscles to any level of strength he desires at any given time.
- ”Det är enligt naturlagarna omöjligt för Chuck Norris att bygga mer muskler. När han förstod det roundhouse-sparkade han snabbt varje naturlag mänskligheten känner till, inklusive dem som bara Chuck Norris känner till. Han kan nu låta sina muskler växa till vilken storlek han vill, närhelst han vill.”
[redigera] Bakgrund
Chuck Norris Facts dök ursprungligen upp på IRC och webbplatsers forum, främst på Something Awfuls forum, tidigt 2005. Conan O'Briens Chuch Norris-skämt på TV-programmet Late Night With Conan O'Brien anses vara en stor inspiration till fenomenet.
[redigera] Några exempel på "Chuck Norris Facts"
- Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
- Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
- Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
- Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
- Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
- Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
- Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
- Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.
- Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris kan beställa Big Mac på Burger King... Och få det.
- Chuck Norris kan slänga igen en svängdörr
