Abraham Simpson
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| The Simpsons character | |
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| Abraham Simpson | |
| Age | 83 |
|---|---|
| Gender | Male |
| Hair color | Sparse |
| Job | Greeter at Sprawl-Mart Bullfighter (briefly) Formerly a World War II soldier cranberry silo night watchman |
| Relatives | Ex-Wife: Selma Bouvier Estranged Wife: Mona Parents: Orville Simpson and Yuma Hickman Siblings: Cyrus, Bill and Hortensia Children: Homer, Herb and Abbie Daughter-in-law: Marge Grandchildren: Bart, Maggie and Lisa (See also Simpson family) |
| First appearance | Tracy Ullman Short Grampa and the Kids |
| Voice actor | Dan Castellaneta |
Abraham "Abe" "Grampa" J. Simpson is a fictional character featured in the animated cartoon television series The Simpsons, voiced by Dan Castellaneta.
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[edit] Biography
[edit] Early life
Abraham J. Simpson, perennially known as "Grampa" Simpson, was born in the "Old Country," most likely Northern England or Scotland, as the son of Orville Simpson and Yuma Hickman. Almost all of own biographical information is supplied by Abe himself, and many of his memories seem wildly inaccurate and often physically or historically impossible, suggesting that Abe is senile. He once referred to Sarah Bernhardt as a former president, and claims to have personally turned cats and dogs against each other.
He claims to have immigrated to the United States with his family. They lived in the Statue of Liberty until they filled the head with garbage and had to move out. He then moved to Albany, New York, where he was supposedly voted "most handsome boy". He claims to have enlisted in the US Army during World War I by lying about his age, as he is a toddler in one war scene.
In the episode Million Dollar Abie, he claims to be 83 years old. There appears to be some confusion on whether he is older than fellow cast member Charles Montgomery Burns. According to the World War II stories, Abe is sometimes described as older, yet Burns is often depicted as the oldest Springfieldian in other episodes. Abe boasts of having been a watchman at Pearl Harbor and that President Grover Cleveland spanked him on two nonconsecutive occasions (a reference to Cleveland's two nonconsecutive terms of office). He dubiously claims to having "taken a shot at Teddy Roosevelt".
Abe seems to be a member of several different organizations, including the "Flying Hellfish" (a WWII infantry squad of which he and Mr. Burns are the only surviving members).
Abe once claimed to be in The Wizard of Oz, and that his legs were the ones that actually curled up when the ruby slippers were removed from the Wicked Witch of the East.
Abe also claims to have played in the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin. During the javelin throw, he tried to kill Adolf Hitler. However, Abe inadvertently killed an SS Officer who was also trying to assassinate Hitler. Abe said that he saw Hitler years later, where they had dinner and laughed about the incident.
[edit] World War II
Abe's recollections of his World War II experiences are sometimes implausible. However, at least portions of his outlandish anecdotes are proven accurate when the entire family actually meets his illegitimate British daughter, when Santa Claus flies him to see his brother in Tahiti, and when the State Department confiscates the art his army unit found in Germany. His tales that pose him as a pilot, seaman, and elite commando leader who goes on suicide missions (e.g., to assassinate Hitler) also seem to be delusional. Abe also botched missions, as he told Bart and Lisa about how he won the Iron Cross while trying to clear the road of German mines.
[edit] Europe
Abe was not initially keen to fight in Europe. After the United States declared war he tried to avoid service by dressing in drag and playing for a women's baseball team in 1942. It kept him from serving for a year. However, he was eventually discovered.
Several episodes place him in the European theater during the later years of the war (1944-1945). He claims to have earned the German Iron Cross, worked as transvestite can-can dancer for high-ranking Nazis, and served as sergeant in a front line unit (Flying Hellfish squad); while under his command, C. Montgomery Burns, was demoted to the rank of private after obstructing a probe from J. Edgar Hoover.
After "liberating" a stash of priceless art from the Nazis, his unit formed a tontine, and buried the art in a trunk at sea. Decades later, Burns tries to murder Abe in order to get the art, prompting Abe to violate the tontine. When Abe and Bart retrieve the art from Montgomery Burns after a spectacular confrontation, the Feds arrive to give the art to their "rightful" owner, a snooty young German aristocrat. This whole escapade indicates there is some truth to Abe's accounts.
Abe fathered an illegitimate daughter in the United Kingdom the day before he joined the D-Day operations in Normandy. This daughter is seen in the same episode lending further credence to the idea that he served in Europe. Moreover, he once showed Bart and Lisa an album with photos of dead Germans killed by his platoon.
[edit] Pacific
Abe claims to have served on PT-109, where he hears John F. Kennedy say the phrase "Ich bin ein Berliner", prompting Abraham to yell "He's a Nazi! Get him!", causing two other crewmen to beat up JFK. Grampa Simpson has also been noted as saying "I haven't felt this relaxed since I was watch commander at Pearl Harbor", implying that he had been stationed there, and that his leisurely attitude allowed the Japanese sneak attack to go undetected.
In the Simpsons Christmas Stories, Grampa Simpson tells the story of having been a Navy pilot in 1941 in the Pacific theater, with Burns this time as his tailgunner. The story involves him being marooned on a desert island for the remainder of the war with Burns, and also involves him meeting Santa Claus. This story is apparently confirmed by the arrival of Santa Claus. The episode also introduced Grampa's older brother Cyrus.
[edit] Education
In the 2005 Christmas episode Simpsons' Christmas Stories, Abe Simpson asserts authority over Monty Burns as the stronger man and higher in military rank. Earlier, he had said that Burns was a lieutenant serving as an airplane pilot, which would make Abe Simpson a first lieutenant or better. (As a commissioned officer, Abe Simpson probably has a college degree but he does mention that he was a sergeant, and hence likely to be a mustang rather than a military academy graduate). In The Curse of the Flying Hellfish he was a sergeant in Europe, and implied to Bart that he had a fourth grade education when he was made seargent.
[edit] Adulthood
Abe was not a particularly caring father to Homer (evidenced when he tells Homer on his first day of school, "Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!"). Homer does not appear to resent these casual abuses, though Homer takes every opportunity to ignore or eject his father, whom he placed in a decrepit retirement home.
Abe held a variety of postwar jobs, including a farmer in Homer's early childhood until the bank foreclosed (when the cows gave sour milk after Homer spooked them). Abe was also a watchman at a cranberry silo. He spent most of this time living in a house he won on a crooked 1950s game show (by squealing), until selling it to help Homer buy a house for his family. Abe moved in with the family, but was sent to a retirement home some three weeks later.
In the episode Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble", Abe's kidneys "burst" after Homer would not let him go to the bathroom. Homer wound up (unwillingly and unknowingly) donating one of his kidneys to his father.
[edit] Work
- Soldier, pilot and can-can dancer in WWII (see WWII section above).
- Night-watchman for forty years at a cranberry silo.
- Matador in the episode Million Dollar Abie.
- Employee at Krusty Burger.
- Greeter at Sprawl-Mart the episode The Fat and the Furriest and On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister, although Homer takes over in the latter episode.
- Credited with writing several "Itchy & Scratchy" episodes (ghostwritten by Bart & Lisa) in The Front.
- Revitalizing tonic salesman Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy.
- He would always have a job at Pan-Am.
- As well as being a member of the Stonecutters, he reveals himself to be the "head of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance for some reason..."
[edit] Family
Abraham Simpson is estranged husband to Mona Simpson, father to Homer Simpson, father-in-law to Marge Simpson and grandfather to siblings Bart, Lisa and Maggie. He also fathered two illegitimate children; a daughter named Abbie by a British lady named Edwina while in England during World War II and Herbert Powell with a carnival hooker. He was briefly married to Amber, the same woman Homer married on a Vegas binge. Also in The Simpsons Uncensored Family Album, the family tree shows his parents' names to be Orville Simpson and Yuma Hickman. Abe's brother Cyrus appeared in the Simpsons Christmas Stories" episode. Cyrus lives in Tahiti with multiple wives.
Abraham Simpson has the same first name as Matt Groening's real-life grandfather. But the writers of The Simpsons were actually the ones that chose the name, not Groening -- an interesting coincidence, especially since Groening personally named almost every other Simpson character after a family member. Also, one of Matt Groening's sons is named Abraham.
The fact that he is called "Grampa" seems obvious since he is grandfather to Bart, Lisa and Maggie. However, his Junior Buckaroo (ID) Badge reads "Little Grampa Simpson". Since it is thought that he obtained his badge during childhood, it can be assumed that this was thrown in as a sight gag. He also calls himself "young Grampa Simpson" in Simpsons Christmas Stories in a World War II flashback - a good twenty years before his first son would be born. This may be attributed to his failing mind, however, as the story is somewhat fantastic in nature.
Abraham Simpson has an older brother named Cyrus, who was shot down when serving in World War II and lived out most of his life on the island of Tahiti. At the end of Million Dollar Abie, Abraham makes reference to a brother named Bill. Numerous members of the Simpson clan appear at the end of Lisa the Simpson including (to Lisa) a Great-Uncle Chet and a second cousin Stanley. Their relationships to Abraham are implied but not explicitly stated.
[edit] Romantic life
He was married for several years to Mona, who became entranced with the hippie lifestyle after watching Joe Namath on TV. She became a fugitive from justice after she abetted in the sabotage of a biological weapons research lab owned by Montgomery Burns. Abe tells a six-year-old Homer that Mona died while Homer was at the movies. Some three decades later, Mona and Homer have a chance encounter at Springfield Cemetery. Each thought the other was dead: she was visiting "his" grave, and he was visiting "hers". Homer takes her home to meet his family, where she spends the next few days. Mona is forced to go underground again when Burns again comes after her.
Before his marriage during World War II, Abe had an affair with a woman in England named Edwina, producing an illegitimate daughter, Abbie, whom he did not meet until she was grown. Abbie bears a striking resemblance to Homer.
He once even dated a 120-year-old woman, who was the nurse who delivered Eubie Blake. But the short-lived romance ends after she spends much time with the Guinness crowd. He wore a 13 pound beard of bees for her, but it was not enough to win her back.
Another affair, with a nameless prostitute he met at a carnival, produced Herbert. Herb was adopted by Edward Powell and Mililani Osler and worked his way up from poverty to found a successful automotive business. Believing himself to be dying, Abe confesses Herb's existence to Homer, who goes on a quest to find his half-brother. Upon learning that Herb is a multi-millionaire, Abe grouses: "I kept the wrong kid." By the time he is able to visit him, Herb has been bankrupted by Homer's whacked-out prototype concept car (or, as Lisa puts it: "He was a rousing success until he found out he was a Simpson.")
In his golden years, Abe dated Bea Simmons (voice by Audrey Meadows), a fellow resident of his retirement home. Bea died and left Abe a little over $100,000 in her will. After some soul-searching, Abe went to a casino to try and win some more money. Homer keeps him from losing the whole bundle at roulette. He finally decides to use the money to refurbish the falling-down Springfield Retirement Castle, including a fancy new memorial dining hall in Bea's name.
He briefly dated a gold-digging golden-ager named Zelda (voiced by Olympia Dukakis), but her head is turned by a slick elderly gentleman at the home with a spiffy car. Abe realized, following an ill-fated jaunt to Branson, Missouri that she was a "hoochie" and totally wrong for him.
He also dated Marge's mother, Jacqueline Bouvier. She later started dating Mr. Burns and almost married him, though the marriage was stopped by Abe.
Recently, he and Selma Bouvier started a relationship which led to marriage but they called it off in the end.
[edit] Personality
Grampa Simpson is an old, grizzled, periodically incontinent and quite senile man, who lives in the Springfield Retirement Castle; which is a sad, lonely place filled with demented, crippled and depressed old people. (A sign near the entrance says "Thank you for not discussing the outside world"). Abe also informs Lisa that residents are not allowed to read newspapers because "they angry up the blood". His closest friend appears to be Jasper, a fellow Retirement Castle resident.
Grampa hates to be showed up or contradicted on absolutely any subject or topic, no matter how ridiculously nonsensical his statement is.
- Grampa: "My story begins in nineteen dickety two. We had to say dickety, because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles."
(Class laughs)
Martin: Dickety? Highly dubious."
Grampa: What are you cacklin'at fatty?! Too much PIE thats your problem!"
His rambling stories trail away in forgetfulness, and sometimes Abe falls asleep in the middle of a statement:
- "You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J. D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run out of the house with a big washtub and... hey! Where are you going?"
- "Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I used my washtub that morning to clean my turkey, which back then was called a 'walking bird'. We had walking bird on Thanksgiving with cranberry sauce, Injun eyes, and yams stuffed with gunpowder. We also sat around and watched football, which back then was called baseball."
- "Anyway, 'long story short', is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling."
They sometimes cause serious delay, as in a shopping line at Monstromart:
- "This nickel has a long and interesting history. It dates back to one morning in 1957. I got up and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to 3 — medium brown . . . "
A recurring feature is Abe's constant explanation of what happened "in those days":
- "We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don’t go anywhere -- like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you’d say.
- "Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."
- "You never know what you're capable of. For example, I never thought that I could shoot down a German plane. Last year I proved myself wrong." (Said during the present day, NOT during a flashback to World War II).
Abe also expounded on his personal relations with the Germans during a Grandparent's Day at Bart's School. "Now, this story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" 'cause the Kaiser had stolen our word for "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles." He also nearly assassinated Adolf Hitler during World War II ("now they'll never save your brain, Hitler!), but was inadvertently thwarted by Mr. Burns.
Bart and Lisa dread his occasional babysitting sessions; even a phone call has its dangers ("...and that's everything which happened in my life right up to the time I got this phone call...") -- at least until he falls asleep and leaves them to their own devices. In the meantime, he fills his time with complaining about anything and everything to anyone and everyone he can find.
Another notable instance of the dangers of calling Abe on the phone:
Lisa: Hi, Grandpa, how are you?
Grandpa: Well, you're really asking yourself two questions there. The first takes me back to 1926: Admiral Byrd had just flown a plane over the North Pole, mere hours ahead of the Three Stooges...
From time to time Abe drifts off into historical ramblings though these tend to be highly confused tracts:
- "That's the Wright Brothers' plane. At Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it fifteen miles on a thimble full of corn oil. Single handedly won us the Civil War, it did!"
Abe is President of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance according to a card he finds in his wallet, although he does not know why. He is also an Elk, a Mason, a Communist, and member of the Stonecutters, enabling Homer to join this secret society.
He spends a good deal of his time writing letters of complaint. He once wrote to the President, complaining that there were too many states, and requesting that they get rid of three of them. He also wrote to "the sickos at Modern Bride Magazine" about his disgust at not seeing "one wrinkled face" in the publication. He also owns a 49-star American flag, because of his undefined hatred of the state of Missouri: "I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura." He also holds a grudge against the Swedes, sometimes exclaiming remarks like, "The Swedes are coming! The Swedes are coming! They got lingonberries!" He calls Homer a cowardly Swede for being terrified by a large bear.
He also is soundly rooted in his old-timer ways:"The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it." Like many of his fellow Retirement Castle residents, Abe is a devoted follower of Matlock. He even supports tearing down the Simpsons' house in order to complete construction of the proposed "Matlock Expressway." He seems to believe Matlock is a real person, suggesting they call him in to solve real-life crimes: "I say we call Matlock. He'll find the culprit. It's probably that evil Gavin MacLeod or George 'Goober' Lindsay." During a Matlock public appearance, Abe and Jasper swipe Matlock's pills, which were needed to prevent him from having a spastic heart failure. Once, reflecting on his lifetime, he lamented it as terribly boring and full of unruly teenagers, but then decided it was alright because "we did have two shows with Andy Griffith".
[edit] Relatives
Abraham Simpson is:
- Husband of Mona J. Simpson
- Husband of Amber from Las Vegas, Homer's former secret wife
- Father of Abbie, Herbert Powell, and Homer Jay Simpson
- Grandfather of Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson
- Brother of Cyrus Simpson — who was not mentioned until the December 18, 2005 episode Simpsons Christmas Stories. Cyrus went missing in action during World War II, but survives to this day in Tahiti.
- Brother of Bill Simpson - mentioned in a flashback when Abraham denounced him as a Communist to the House Un-American Activities Committee.
