Bollocks

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"Bollocks" is a word of Anglo Saxon origin, meaning testicles in British English and in Hiberno-English. The word is often used figuratively, most commonly as a noun to mean "nonsense" or as an expletive following a minor accident or misfortune, but also in a number of other ways: as an adjective to mean "poor quality" or "useless", as a noun to mean "top quality" or "perfection" (e.g., "That bike is the dog's bollocks!"), and in various compound expressions (see below). Owing to its versatility, bollocks has been called the Swiss Army knife of andrological profanities, in that it is the most versatile word in the English language.

Perhaps the best-known international use of the term in this sense is in the title of a Sex Pistols album. Testimony in a resulting lawsuit over the "obscene" term demonstrated that in Old English the word referred to a priest, and could also be used to mean "nonsense" (see Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols for details).

Contents 1 Etymology 2 Alternative spellings 3 Severity 4 Negative uses 4.1 Talking bollocks 4.2 Bollocks! 4.3 Bollocksed 4.4 Dropping a bollock 4.5 Bollocking 4.6 Up to one's bollocks 4.7 Bollock cold 4.8 Bollocks (transitive verb) 4.9 Bollocks (singular noun) 4.10 Gesticulate (verb) 5 Positive uses 5.1 Dog's bollocks 5.2 Dog's Bollock Syndrome 5.3 The bollocks 5.4 Top bollock[s] 5.5 Chuffed to one's bollocks 6 Euphemisms 6.1 Balderdash 6.2 Rhyming slang 6.3 Spoonerisms 6.4 Horlicks 6.5 Nadgers 6.6 Humour 7 Ballock knife 8 Offensive T-shirts 9 Other uses 9.1 Shouting game 9.2 Other Slang Words for testicles 10 References 11 See also

[edit] Etymology

The word has a long and distinguished history, with the Oxford English Dictionary giving examples of its usage dating back to the 13th century. In view of its current status as a profanity, it is ironic that one of the early references is John Wycliffe's Bible (1382), Leviticus xxii, 24: "Al beeste, that ... kitt and taken a wey the ballokes is, ye shulen not offre to the Lord..." (any beast that is cut and taken away the bollocks, you shall not offer to the Lord).

The Oxford English Dictionary states (with abbreviations expanded): "Probably a derivative of Teutonic ball-, of which the Old English representative would be inferred as beall-u, -a, or -e".

The Teutonic ball- in turn probably derives from the Proto-Indo-European base *bhel-, to inflate or swell. This base also forms the root of many other words, including phallus.

From the seventeenth to the nineteenth century, bollocks or ballocks was used as a slang term for a clergyman. For example, in 1864, the Commanding Officer of the Straights Fleet regularly referred to his chaplain as "Ballocks". It has been suggested that bollocks came to have its modern meaning of "rubbish" because clergymen were notorious for speaking rubbish during their sermons.^[1]

[edit] Alternative spellings

"Ballock" is a variation of "bollock", which was in everyday usage in the medieval period, albeit rarely heard today. The connection with "ball" in the sense of testis is evident.

The word is sometimes spelled as bollox or bollix usually in order to make it appear less vulgar. In this case its meaning is "to bungle", for example "The project was going well, but my boss bollixed it up." This is the sense in which the term "bollix" is generally used in the United States of America for example, where the term "bollocks" is generally known only from the title of the Sex Pistols album, and its original meaning is almost unknown. "Bollixed up" is sometimes considered an out-of-date expression that has largely been replaced by phrases such as "screwed up," as the latter term has gradually lost most of its previously vulgar connotation.

"Bollix" may also be used to refer to a particularly nasty or awkward person, particularly in Ireland, as in "He's a right Bollix".

A modern myth claims that the correct singular of the phrase should not be "bollock", but rather "pillock", commonly used as another British English insult (though usually without the testis connotation). However, it appears that this is erroneous, and that the two words are connected only by similarities in the spelling. Both "pillock" and "cock" are probably shortened forms of the Middle English "pillicock", a slang term for "penis".

[edit] Severity

The relative severity of the various British profanities, as perceived by the public, was studied on behalf of the British Broadcasting Standards Commission, Independent Television Commission, BBC and Advertising Standards Authority. The results of this jointly commissioned research were published in December 2000 in a paper called "Delete Expletives?". This placed "bollocks" in eighth position in terms of its perceived severity, positioning it (somewhat appropriately) between "prick" (seventh place) and "arsehole" (ninth place). By comparison, the word "balls" (which has a similar literal meaning) was ranked in 22nd place. Of the people surveyed, only 11% thought that "bollocks" could acceptably be broadcast at times before the notional 9pm "watershed".^[2]

[edit] Negative uses

[edit] Talking bollocks

In this context it means talking nonsense or even bullshit, for example "don't listen to him, he's talking bollocks". Talking bollocks in a corporate context is referred to as bollockspeak. Bollockspeak tends to be buzzword-laden and largely content-free. "Rupert, we'll have to leverage our synergies to facilitate a paradigm shift by Q4" is an example of management bollockspeak. The act of talking bollocks whilst waving one's arms about wildly is referred to as testiculation. In addition, the word bollocks can be used to annunciate a lie, an incorrect statement, an unfair situation, a spot of bad luck or something completely pointless, i.e "what a load of bollocks". A quotation from John O'Farrell includes a range of examples of this usage: a character attending a comedy awards ceremony says "These awards are a load of bollocks. It's all bollocks, all of it. These people: bollocks; this whole industry: complete bollocks; these prizes: meaningless bollocks; all these free gifts: marketing bollocks; this food: pure bollocks." ^[3]

[edit] Bollocks!

Bollocks! can be used as a standalone interjection to express strong disagreement. This usage is closely related to the above; it dismisses a statement as nonsense, similar to bullshit in the US. This can be expanded, for example, to "What a complete and utter load of bollocks!"

A relatively common expression in some circles, with a similar meaning, is "Yer ballax!" (Your bollocks).

Sometimes bollocks is combined with an abbreviated version of the original statement, e.g.:

• "It was your fault." - "Bollocks it was!" (It certainly was not.)
• "Did Rovers win last night?" - "Did they bollocks!" (No they didn't and why are you asking such a silly question?)

This usage is most frequently found in Hiberno-English, where the reiteration of the verb for emphasis in answering a question is common, emulating the Irish language where no single words for yes or no exist.

A related usage is in expressing contempt for something or someone. A Channel 4 TV programme on 9 June 2005, dealing with the subject of testicular cancer was punningly titled Bollocks to Cancer. A similar usage is the "Bollocks to Brussels" car stickers, which were displayed by those wishing to express contempt for European law.^[4]

[edit] Bollocksed

Uses of the word bollocksed:

1. a state of exhaustion: "I couldn't sleep at all last night, I'm completely bollocksed!"

2. as a synonym for broken: "My foot pump is completely bollocksed."

3. to refer to a botched job: "Well you bollocksed it up that time, Your Majesty!" or "I'm sorry I am so late. Bollocksed up at work again, I fear. Millions down the drain."^[5]

4. to describe an extreme state of inebriation or drug imbibement: "Last night I got completely bollocksed."^[6]

5. to refer to the after effects of such (see 4) activity : "I drank two bottles of gin last night, I'm completely bollocksed."

[edit] Dropping a bollock

To drop a bollock describes the malfunction of an operation, or messing something up - as in many sports, and in more polite business parlance, dropping the ball brings play to an unscheduled halt.^[7] It has not been unknown in some instances for the phrase to be used to highlight extreme anger. The phrase has even seen use in the literal sense when a male suffers injury to the scrotum.

Bollocks dropping is often used to refer to male adolescence especially when concerned with the changes to his voice e.g. "How can he sing so high?" "Easy, his bollocks haven't dropped yet."

More recently the term has been used to describe the instance of disbelief. e.g. "He nearly dropped a bollock when he found out." "The manager will drop a bollock if he knew."

[edit] Bollocking

Bollocking usually refers to a good verbal chastisement for something one has done incorrectly. i.e. "I didn't do my homework and got a right bollocking off Mr Smith" or "a nurse was assisting at an appendix operation when, apparently, she shouldn't have been doing so...and the surgeon got a bollocking".^[8] The term is used frequently in the British Army recruitment process where it is mutually understood that "if you err then you will get bollocked or get a bollocking" —in most cases, these bollockings will be without physical contact but will be a psychological assault on a person's character, look or actions.

Originally, a bollocking was a serious assault, and the term comes from the bollock dagger, popular between the 13th and 18th centuries.

Rollocking is sometimes used in place of bollocking when the use of the word could cause offence (not to be confused with rowlocks).

Bollocking can also be used as a reinforcing adjective: "He hasn't a bollocking clue!" or "Where's me bollocking car?"^[9]

[edit] Up to one's bollocks

This phrase can be used if one is overwhelmed with a substance or chore. Eg: "Can you help me out, Henry? I'm up to my bollocks in paperwork!" Or: "The wife over-watered the flowerbeds again; now I'm up to my bollocks in petunias!"

[edit] Bollock cold

The scrotum's purpose is to keep testicles a couple of degrees cooler than the rest of the body. However, bollock cold actually means very cold indeed. "It's bollock cold outside - it's enough to freeze the bollocks off a brass monkey".

[edit] Bollocks (transitive verb)

To bollocks something up describes the act of messing something up. Alternatively, one can make a right bollocks of it.

[edit] Bollocks (singular noun)

Bollocks, or ballocks, can be used as a singular noun to mean a despicable or notorious person: eg "Who's the old ballocks you were talking to?"^[10]

[edit] Gesticulate (verb)

To wave ones hands about and talk Bollocks. Possibly attributable to I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (BBC Radio 4).

[edit] Positive uses

[edit] Dog's bollocks

Another usage with a positive sense is the dog's bollocks.^[11] An example of this usage is "Before Tony Blair's speech, a chap near me growled: ‘'E thinks 'e's the dog's bollocks.’ Well he's entitled to. It was a commanding speech: a real dog's bollocks of an oration."^[12] Sometimes the phrase is shortened to just "the dog's" or "the bollocks" (see below).

Although this is a recent term (the Online Etymology Dictionary dates it to 1989^[11][13]), its origins are obscure:

• etymologist Eric Partridge believes the term comes from the printers' mark of a colon and a dash;^{[citation needed]}
• another theory suggests it is a spoonerism of 1950's Meccano sets called "box, deluxe", in much the same way that their "box, standard" set name was corrupted to "bog standard", although this etymology is anything but certain.^[14]
• "The dog's bollocks" fits in with several rhyming reduplications of positive meaning that were popular during the 1920s ("the bee's knees," "the cat's pajamas"). More recent expressions that follow the same pattern are "the mutt's nuts" or "the dog's danglies".

A further positive aspect of "the dog's bollocks" is derived from their prominence or notability, as in the expression "it sticks out like the dog's bollocks".^{[citation needed]}

There is also a beer brewed in England by the Wychwood Brewery called the Dogs Bollocks,^[15] as well as a lager cocktail.^[16]

In certain polite society the term will get altered to "The Mutts Nutts".

[edit] Dog's Bollock Syndrome

Dog's Bollock Syndrome can be used to describe an excessive use of technology or visual aid, such as in an enormous use of Flash animations on a website. It is derived from following riddle: "Q: Why do dogs lick their bollocks? A: Because they can". In a technological context, the question could be "Why has the web developer included a three-minute animated intro to this page?", prompting the answer: "Dog's Bollock Syndrome, Mate. Because he can".^{[citation needed]}

[edit] The bollocks

The bollocks — and the definite article is important here — can be used to mean something good when one is talking about a person or object: "My new car is the bollocks!" or "That new chef down the road, she's the bollocks!". Non-native speakers of British English should exercise extreme caution when using the term in this manner. The antonymic property of bollocks and the [dog's] bollocks is often used in humour, such as in the film The 51st State.

[edit] Top bollock[s]

Top bollock is also used as a superlative, for example: "This beer is top bollock". Used in the plural, top bollocks often refers to women's breasts, "Look at Suzannes's top bollocks - you don't get many of those to the pound."^[17] It is also known to be used to refer to authority figures or those in power, particularly by office workers, e.g. "I have to do this, it's an order from the Top Bollocks".

[edit] Chuffed to one's bollocks

The phrase chuffed to [his] bollocks describes someone who is very pleased with himself. One example is The Homecoming by Nobel laureate Harold Pinter. The phrase provided a serious challenge to translators of his work. See BBC article. It is unclear whether a woman may be chuffed to her bollocks, presumably not. Similarly, she may struggle to be as pleased as a dog with two dicks.

[edit] Euphemisms

Although the term is far more widely accepted than it was at the time of the Sex Pistols trial, there are occasions when an alternative phrase is required, either for reasons of decorum or to thwart an overzealous mail filter.

[edit] Balderdash

Balderdash is an excellent substitute for bollocks in polite company. The word has a long, anorchid pedigree going back centuries, but sounds as though it ought to be a profanity: "With all due respect, Brian, you're talking balderdash".

[edit] Rhyming slang

The Cockney rhyming slang for bollocks is Jackson Pollocks. It can be shortened to Jackson's, as in "Modern art? Pile of Jacksons if you ask me!". Sandra Bullocks is occasionally used to approximate rhyming slang -- it does not quite rhyme, but preserves meter and rhythm. The Beautiful South bowdlerised their original line "sweaty bollocks" as "Sandra Bullocks" as one of several changes to make their song "Don't Marry Her" acceptable for mainstream radio play for this reason.

Other examples:

• Jacobs = Jacob's Crackers = Knackers

[edit] Spoonerisms

The spoonerism Bonkey Dollocks is a term of endearment for a well-endowed male. The bonkey's dollocks can be used as a synonym for "the dog's bollocks", as can the bog's dollocks. Another popular spoonerism is Betty Swollocks (also Swallox or Swallocks). "It ain't half hot and humid in Kuala Lumpur, mum - I've got a bad case of betty swollocks". This can be shortened to simply "The Betties".

[edit] Horlicks

The term Horlicks was used in July 2003 by former British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw ("a complete Horlicks") to describe irregularities in the preparation and provenance of the "dodgy dossier" regarding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, instead of the less polite "make a complete bollocks of something". This euphemism stems from an advertising campaign for the Horlicks malt drink, where people were seen to be shouting "Horlicks" in a loud voice to give vent to stress or frustration.

[edit] Nadgers

Nadgers is one of many words dripping with sexual innuendo that emerged in the 1950s and 60s to flout strict BBC censorship. The etymology is uncertain, but possibly based on "gonad". When Rambling Syd Rumpo on the radio show Round the Horne asked "What shall we do with a drunken nurker?", the answer he gave was "Hit him in the nadgers with the bosun's plunger...till his bodgers dangle". See article under World Wide Words for more details.

The badger's nadgers can be used as a substitute for the phrase the dog's bollocks, having essentially the same meaning.

[edit] Humour

There is a strand of English humour which uses words that sound similar to 'bollocks', or other slang words for testicles, for comic effect. A good example would be "In Sarajevo in 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was shot in the Balkans". In Richard E Grant's memoir With Nails, the actor tells of going to the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles and notes that this is the place where "Robert Kennedy was shot in the kitchens. Sorry - 'kitchens' sounds like a euphemism for 'bollocks'. He was killed here."

Another joke plays on the double meaning of some slang words- "I was in the shoe-menders today- and I got kicked in the cobblers..." this joke plays on the double meaning of the word 'cobblers'.See also: Cockney rhyming slang.

[edit] Ballock knife

There is a type of late-medieval dagger that is known to weapon and armor specialists as a "ballock knife" or "ballock-hafted knife". This dagger has a pair of symmetrical oval swellings located on each side of the hilt at the guard and clearly resembling male genitalia. An example can be found in the Wallace Collection in London and is depicted in the official catalogue there.

[edit] Offensive T-shirts

The word bollocks caused controversy again in the UK in 2006, when Tony Wright, a Leicestershire trader, was given an £80 fixed penalty fine, by police, for selling T-shirts bearing the slogan Bollocks to Blair. This took place on 29 June 2006 at the Royal Norfolk Show where police issued the penalty notice, quoting Section 5 of the Public Order Act 1986 which refers to language "deemed to cause Harassment, Alarm or Distress".[1]

Commentators have made comparisons with the Sex Pistols case, pointing to some of the statements made by the defence barrister, John Mortimer QC, which gain a new irony in the light of this event:

"What sort of country are we living in if a politician comes to Nottingham and speaks here to a group of people in the city centre and during his speech a heckler replies 'bollocks'. Are we to expect this person to be incarcerated, or do we live in a country where we are proud of our Anglo Saxon language?"

[edit] Other uses

Bollock head is a British term for a shaven head, but can also refer to someone who is intellectually challenged. Bollock brain can be used with a similar meaning. An 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue cites the expression "His brains are in his ballocks" to designate a fool.^[18] Bollock chops is used to describe someone with a rounded face physiognomy. Bollock breath is a general term of abuse, likely for a person suffering from halitosis. Bollock buster refers to any very heavy item, especially one that may cause a hernia.

Both icy weather and hard work run the risk of orchidectomy: "It's minus twenty outside - I'll freeze my bollocks off!", or "Fred worked his bollocks off on that last project". (Interestingly, this phrase is frequently used by and about women, regardless of the fact that they are generally bollock-free to begin with. Lee Ryan from the Blue (boy band) refers to his mother having "worked her bollocks off" to help his early career. [2] ) In this context, one can also work one's bollocks "to the bone".

Used in singular form to describe being in the nude: "he was completely pissed and stark bollock naked".^[19] Bollocky is Australian slang for "naked"; in the bollocky-buff is naval slang for the same.^[20] However, bollock naked is naval slang for spaghetti bolognese.

Another common usage in Ireland and the UK — "....a right kick in the bollocks" — is used to describe a significant set-back or disappointment. In Ireland, a "kick in the bollocks" is the name of a non-alcoholic cocktail of Red Bull and red lemonade. Also in Ireland, the term can be used as a very informal term of endearment "ah Ted, ye big bollocks, let's go have a pint!"

A related term bolloxed (more rarely: bollocksed) means "bladdered", or "drunk". For example: "We had 12 pints of Stella last night and we was [sic] well bolloxed".

Because the word "bollocks" is not generally understood in American English, it was used by one of the subjects in the 2004 television program "Brat Camp", in which troubled British teenagers were sent to an American wilderness reformation camp. In it, participants were forbidden by the camp rules from swearing, but since the supervisors did not recognize the term "bollocks" as a swear, one member was able to use it to relieve his frustration with impunity. The program included a brief segment in which he begged the (British) camera crew not to reveal the meaning of the word to the supervisors.

On the Internet, bollocks is sometimes synonymous with "miscellaneous" in some blogs. It is used to list stories that do not fit in any other particular category (See Threadwatch).

[edit] Shouting game

A game called "bollocks" exists in which the players take turns to shout the eponymous word. It is a variant of the penis game. Each shout is required to be louder than the last, starting with a whisper and ending with a full-blooded yell. This is usually played by schoolboys, to whom the idea of shouting a proscribed word in public has a sort of risqué appeal. A 'Mexican wave bollocks' variation (where the fun is in getting as many other people to shout the word as possible) is often played in the campsites of British music festivals; the main example being Reading and Leeds Festivals, but others as well, for example Glastonbury or T in the Park. People often break the chain by shouting 'arse' instead but this usually results in it starting over again.

There is also a variant where the word is sung in increasing volume rather than shouted, and in some instances, can be rather musically pleasant, even though not particularly lyrically complex.

[edit] Other Slang Words for testicles

There are a large number of slang words for bollocks, listed here

[edit] References

1. ^ Watkins, Peter. The Soul of Wit: Eccentricity, Absurdity and Other Ecclesiastical Treasures. SCM-Canterbury Press Ltd, p.71. ISBN 1-85311-496-0. 
2. ^ Delete Expletives paper
3. ^ O'Farrell, John (2003). This is your life (paperback edn.). Black Swan, p.179. 
4. ^ Dunn, Willy (29 September 2005). "Spheres of contempt". The Times: Letters Page, p.18. 
5. ^ Memorable Quotes from Notting Hill (film). Internet Movie Database. Retrieved on 2007-02-05.
6. ^ Ball, Kevin. Bally's Celtic Swing. A Love Supreme (Sunderland AFC Fanzine). ALS Publications. Retrieved on 2007-02-05. "We all went out...for a few beers to a place called Sean's Bar. Some of the lads were playing darts in there, and there was a lass near them who was utterly bollocksed. She was all over the shop."
7. ^ Top Ten Worst Vanity Projects. Retrieved on 2007-02-05. "Guy Ritchie....was about to drop a bollock from a mile high. His next project in 2003 was Swept Away, a film so harshly derided by critics that it actually made the reader feel sympathy for the poor guy – that is, until they saw it for themselves."
8. ^ Lyall, Joanna (26 February 2005). "Journalists accused of wrecking doctors' lives". British Medical Journal 330: 485. 
9. ^ Brown, Christy (1976). Wild Grow the Lillies. Martin Secker & Warburg, p.216. 
10. ^ Joyce, James (1922). Ulysses, Episode 12. 
11. ^ ^{a b} Dog's bollocks - meaning and origin phrases.org.uk, Viz magazine 1989: "Viz: the dog's bollocks: the best of issues 26 to 31."
12. ^ (4 October 1995) "". The Times: p.7. 
13. ^ Douglas Harper. Online Etymology Dictionary. Retrieved on 2006-09-08.
14. ^ Michael Quinion. Questions & Answers: Bog-standard. World Wide Words. Retrieved on 2006-09-08.
15. ^ Wychwood Dogs Bollocks. RateBeer LLC. Retrieved on 2006-09-08.
16. ^ Dogs Bollocks recipe. Retrieved on 2006-09-08.
17. ^ Wood, Christopher (2006). James Bond, The Spy I Loved. Twenty First Century Publishers Ltd, p.138. ISBN 1904433537.  "The heroine needed to be young, capable of projecting a naïve innocence, able to act a bit and possessed of what I heard a member of the crew describe as 'a decent pair of top bollocks'."
18. ^ Grose, Captain (2004). 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (reprinted 2004). Kessinger Publishing, 15. ISBN 1419100076. 
19. ^ Carter, Jon (2005). South America Detox. Carter, 258. ISBN 0-9552-1840-3. 
20. ^ Denton, Andrew (20 February 2006). Transcript of interview with Billy Connolly for ABC TV's With Enough Rope. Retrieved on 2007-02-05.: With reference to a scene in a film in which Connolly appears naked, he says "So I danced bollocky buff round them..."

[edit] See also

• Ballcock
• bullock