Snipe hunt

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A snipe hunt, also known as a fool's errand or wild goose chase, is one of a class of practical jokes that involves experienced people making fun of newcomers by giving them an impossible or imaginary task.

For example, inexperienced campers are told about a bird or animal called the snipe as well as a usually ridiculous method of catching it, such as running around the woods carrying a bag or making strange noises. Real snipes (which are often mistakenly thought to be non-existent) are difficult to catch for experienced hunters, so much so that the word "sniper" is derived from it to refer to anyone skilled enough to shoot one[1]. The hunt never succeeds for novices. In another, more cruel version, the unsuspecting "snipe hunter" is secretly abandoned to see how long will it take for him to notice this and start to panic.

Snipe hunts are similar to hazing except that the abuse is embarrassment from trickery rather than physical humiliation.

The name comes from a family of shorebirds named snipe that are notoriously difficult to shoot. However, the term "snipe hunt" does not describe a hunt for actual prey. Often, the pranksters will tell the victim, "we need to spread out," and then go home.

Contents 1 Fool's errands 1.1 Common items 1.2 Work crews, workshops and so on 1.3 Mechanic Shops 1.4 Scouting 1.5 General Military 1.6 Aviation and airborne military units 1.7 Naval units 1.8 Maritime (civilian) 1.9 Farms and ranches 1.10 Restaurant Kitchens or Catering 1.11 Miscellaneous 1.12 Theatre Tech Crews 1.13 Regional 2 Popular culture 3 See also 4 Further reading

[edit] Fool's errands

Fool's errands are tasks that cannot be accomplished because of fate or because it is a joke. They are often employed as hazing or to remove annoying subordinates and or idiots. They mainly come in two varieties: trying to find something that does not exist, or trying to accomplish an impossible task. Others who are aware of the prank will often redirect the victim to several different places. Sometimes, especially with military commissaries, people will stock up cans and bottles with fake labels. For example, Air Force commissaries often stock up on fake bottles of "prop wash".

There is also a variant on the Fool's Errand where the object to be retrieved is made to sound as unlikely as possible but does indeed exist. For example, a new stagehand might get sent for a "bag of double headed nails". Double headed nails are used to prevent a nail going in all the way into scenery flats so the scenery can be removed very quickly (during an add break, say).

[edit] Common items

• a long stand, long weight (wait), or a long felt want
• a left-handed hammer, screwdriver, wrench, pliers, etc.
• a plinth ladder
• a length of WLAN cable

[edit] Work crews, workshops and so on

• a bucket of vacuum, steam, sparks (especially sparks for the grinder), electricity, prop-wash and similar
• a box of grid squares
• a metric adjustable spanner
• a can of striped, rainbow, polka-dot or tartan paint
• a can of elbow grease
• a wire stretcher for electricians (usually described in great detail to an apprentice who is sent to find it)
• a grid-leak drip-pan (from the days of vacuum tubes)
• a board stretcher
• a rafter jack
• a sky hook
• a short ten-footer
• a box of glass, or rubber nails.
• a bubble for a spirit level
• a metric hammer
• a box of head joints
• an aluminum magnet
• a box of spots for the spotwelder
• Fluorescent Tube Bender
• ID10-T tool (idiot tool)
• Toe Nails (in Carpentry)
• A sixteen-amp (or other) short circuit (electricians)

[edit] Mechanic Shops

• Muffler bearings
• Spark plugs for a diesel engine (diesel engines do not use spark plugs, though they may use glow plugs)
• Bougie sparks
• Having someone check the coolant level for an air-cooled engine (such as in an older Volkswagen or a Deutz AG engine).
• Having someone check the rear differential on a front wheel drive car (there is no rear differential on a front wheel drive vehicle).
• Blinker fluid or blinker fluid reservoir
• Winter air for tires
• Muffler Belt
• Electric Fan Belt
• Carburetor thrust washer
• Flux capacitor for a DeLorean (which is what makes time travel possible)
• Fluorescent Tube Bender
• Halogen fluid (Halogen is a gas,and usually kept in sealed headlamp bulbs.)
• Having someone change the transmission exhaust manifold
• Ask to replace the rice (works only on sport compacts)
• Piston Return Spring

[edit] Scouting

• Teflon-coated sponges to clean dutch ovens.
• Dutch oven polish.
• A bacon stretcher or soup slicer.
• A "left-handed smoke-shifter", supposedly a device used to deflect smoke from a campfire.
• A non-existent electrical outlet in the woods, or a "tree adapter."
• A sky hook, for hanging tarps/rain flies.
• A length of "shore line" — often campers will be sent to the waterfront to get this.
• Dehydrated water, styrofoam stakes, or the glass hammer. Generally used less often, as these items are self-contradictory, and most marks will get wise to the joke.
• Spaghetti peeler; the story goes that your Mom gets her spaghetti "unpeeled" at the store. Often upon going to see the cook or quartermaster store will be asked additional questions: right or left handed, metal or wood, brass or aluminum, large or small.
• Compass water, supposedly the water that is inside your compass that somehow gets depleted over time.
• Keys to the oarlocks.
• Tent-peg-hole filler, a tub of earth to fill in holes made by tent pegs.
• The original snipe hunt.
• Metric tree wrench - No one knows what it does, but we can't get the dinning fly up without it.
• A tent stretcher.
• Lantern fuel for a specific color of lantern. (Red lantern fuel for red lanterns, e.g.)

[edit] General Military

• brass magnet (on firing range)
• relative bearing grease
• winter air for tires
• lightstick batteries - also chemlight batteries, lightstick fluid, a chemlight recharger, or chemlight refuel kit
• electricity dust
• a can of night vision
• a can of beep for the horn, a can of radio squelch, or a can of track tension
• a length of chow line (the line in a mess hall), gig line, or flight line
• radar contacts
• 10 feet of waterline
• cannon report (The sound of a cannon being fired)
• frequency oil
• squelch grease
• headlight fluid
• a box of grid squares
• gallon of checkered paint
• "Go paint the last post" (Commonwealth military nations)
• Can of muzzle blast
• Reverse lights for a Humvee (they do not have reverse lights)
• Keys to a Humvee (They do not have any)
• Blank Firing Adaptor (BFA) for a field gun (Rifles have them: field guns don't)
• PRC-E8 Radio - Pronounced "Prick E8" where E8 is the rank of First Sergeant (From the PRC-119 Field Radio)
• Exhaust samples - Oil samples are taken weekly from military vehicles, so many a new Private is sent to collect "exhaust samples"
• a box of ohms
• "Go pet the gama goat" – the gama goat was an amphibious vehicle, not an animal
• Armor flaws – New privates are given chalk and a hammer and asked to mark armor for tanks and armored personnel carriers with x's wherever the armor may sound weak. Inevitably, the tank commander (usually an officer or senior NCO) returns to a vehicle covered with chalk marks.
• Stack of 0311s (Marines)- 0311 is the MOS Designater for a Rifleman in the Marine Corps. Upon asking, the Private is usually dogpiled.
• The keys for the indoor mortar range
• Can of military bearings - military bearing is the manner in which a servicemember comports himself.

Nomenclature which doesn't exist:

• BA-1100 November (balloon)
• TR-2E (tree)
• ST-1 (stone)
• ID10-Tango Form (idiot form)
• K9-P Solution (canine pee)
• A.S.H. Receiver (ash tray)

[edit] Aviation and airborne military units

• the keys to a drop zone
• canopy lights (for parachute canopies; supposedly for night jumps)
• afterburner flints
• a bottle of prop wash (the airflow from a propeller)
• a bottle of jet wash.
• a bottle of rotor wash for helicopters
• the key to the approach gate (the airspace an aircraft flies through during its landing approach)
• a length of flight line (part of an airfield)
• roof rack (generally reserved for cargo transports, common among commercial aviation)

Often, competing companies in commercial aviation will work together when someone is being sent for an item. New employees will be sent to another company's section of the airport, only to be told that company doesn't have what the employee seeks, but another does.

[edit] Naval units

• the golden rivet
• "mail buoy watch" a non-existent buoy a sailor is asked to watch for
• a bucket of propeller pitch or propeller wash or a can of jet wash
• several feet of fallopian tube (also a popular prank in civilian hospitals)
• the keys to the ship
• sound powered phone batteries
• bulkhead remover
• a length of waterline, shoreline or gig line (See U.S. Navy slang)
• relative bearing grease
• a bucket of A-1-R (Air)
• report sighting of a CGU 11S (Seagulls)
• keys to the sea chest (where a seawater pump takes suction or discharges overboard)
• a sighting of a B1-RD off the port bow.
• a machinist's punch (provided by an obliging Machinist's Mate)
• boatswain's nuts
• tool for drying the centreboard trunk (which cannot be dried unless the entire sea is)
• "summon the duty neutron" on nuclear-powered ships, this is the neutron designated to start the nuclear reactor any time during the current watch
• "get the keys to the stern gate" Amphibious ships have a stern gate to deploy LCACs, LCUs or small boats, usually opened hydraulically.
• "Spurlash" When sending people to ask for a spurlash they are often greeted by being thrown in the water. Splash!
• In the Russian Navy a new sailor is asked to cut off an arm of an anchor with a hand saw.
• "sea bat" - A prank where a box or crate is placed upside down on the deck. A raw (new) sailor is told that to look at the very rare "sea bat", he should only lift the box just a little, so that it won't fly away. When the unsuspecting sailor bends over to take a peek, another sailor smacks him in the butt with a broom (bat). Usually take two or three episodes of this before the poor guy realizes what is really going on.

[edit] Maritime (civilian)

• watering the compass rose
• bringing water for the navigation light from the engine department, occasionally in separate bottles for red (port), green (starboard) and 'distilled (clear/white) colours

[edit] Farms and ranches

• Replacement tractor suspension springs (tractors have no suspension system)
• A rooster egg
• The testicles of a cow or steer
• A backward chain
• A 1/3" wrench.
• A Saddle Stretcher

[edit] Restaurant Kitchens or Catering

• A bucket of steam
• A tub of elbow grease
• Powdered water
• A pan stretcher ("You weren't supposed to run that pan through the dishwasher, now it shrunk. Go get the pan stretcher to stretch it back out.")
• A mince hook (supposedly for hanging up mince)
• Asking the trainee to chop flour (usually being told it is to some end such as "to release the gluten")
• Asking the trainee to wash the dirty water
• Asking the trainee to mop the freezer (wet mops like to stick to the cold metal)
• Asking the trainee to go get more sesame seeds for the buns
• Asking a trainee to drain the hot water from the coffee maker (the orange valve connected to the tap; done "to keep the heating element from rusting. Very expensive to fix.")

[edit] Miscellaneous

• In marching bands: the cymbal key (supposedly for tuning cymbals)
• In hotels: a room that does not exist
• In electronics: a can of bias grease
• In computers: a write only memory WOM
• In television: the chroma key to open the genlock
• Also in television: additional time code to refill a tape machine that is running out
• In baseball: the keys to the batter's box, and a container of curve balls
• In the grocery business: food for the lobsters (which don't need to be fed)
• Also in the grocery business: A shelf stretcher
• In lumberyards: A hydraulic board stretcher.
• In chemistry laboratories: a bucketful of benzene rings.(Benzene is a liquid)
• In newspapers: a paper stretcher, or a word stretcher (for stretching words to fit in a column)
• In restaurants the (any food) repair kit, e.g. the pizza repair kit.
• Also in resturants: To clean, bring drinks to, etc. a table that doesn't exist (in the case of relatively new hires who only partially know the table numbers).
• On motion picture sets: a bag of T-stops (the exposure markings on the side of a camera lens)
• In theatre: Cleaning a dirty gelatine square (gelatine is water-dissolvable)
• In landscaping: the block stretcher (supposed to stretch bricks to fit into oversized areas)
• In trucking: To pick up a load of sailboat fuel.
• In health care: To fetch a fallopian tube (actually a part of the female reproductive tract)
• In bars: A left-handed shaker tin
• To a panicked chatterbox: A muffle cover.
• In bars: Banana juice
• In boating (especially whitewater): Bowline detachment tool (the bowline is detached by hand). This gag often involves several companies.
• In any building: asking a new employee to go get something (an actual item) from the basement...when there really is no basement
• In coin collecting: A 1975 United States Quarter (two years of the 1976 bicentennial quarter were minted. No 1975 Quarters were minted).
• In lifeguarding: The keys to the oar locks.
• In lifeguarding: A jar of shark repellent. (Sometimes a lifeguard at a different beach will disappear and return with a jar of urine, filled to the top, so it is difficult to carry without spilling it on one's hands.)
• The American filmmaker, Don Siegel was told, as a Warner Brothers film library apprentice to "go and get a bag of sprocket holes" that the film librarian desperately needed.
• In theaters or stores: Counting the gumballs in a gumball machine (new employees are generally given plastic gloves and told to count them one by one.)
• In theaters or stores: Refilling the water fountains (new employees are given a bucket and told to fill it with water and pour it into the water fountain's drain to 'refill' it.)

[edit] Theatre Tech Crews

• Hang a light on the skyhooks.
• When focusing ellipsoidal spotlights, if the shutter can't make a cut, the victim is asked to find a can of "beam stop."
• Put a gobo in the fresnel spotlight. (Only ellipsoidal reflector spotlights use gobos)
• When scenery or backdrops are being painted, the rookie is sent to find a "paint eraser" (usually told in great detail where it is and what it looks like)
• Given an old light gel made of actual gelatin. Newbie is told to wash the gel, but be very careful, as it is the only gel they have. Gel dissolves in water.

[edit] Regional

In Bavaria, tourists were taken on extended expeditions to search for chamois eggs, or on all-night Wolpertinger stakeouts. In Scotland, tourists are told about the wild haggis hunts, while in the Western United States, they may be warned about the savage jackalope.

In crafting circles in Sweden and Norway, it is popular to send someone looking for a "synvinkel" or an "ögonmått", this supposedly being some kind of measuring tool. ("Synvinkel" is a reference to a set square, which is "vinkelhake" in Swedish. The expression "synvinkel" actually means "point of view" though. "Ögonmått" is similar, meaning measuring by eye)

In Australia foreigners may be warned to remain alert for Drop bears, mythical creatures that are a popular joke amongst the locals.

In Wyoming, natives warn tourists to watch out for rattlesnake eggs. (Rattlesnakes don't lay eggs; they give birth to live offspring.)

[edit] Popular culture

Variations of snipe hunts are a common plot device in comic literature, including:

• In Episode 3 of Season 6 of the Gilmore Girls, Tom, the contractor working on Lorelai's house, sends TJ, Luke's brother-in-law, on a hunt for a "mystic hammer." He eventually finds one and says, "It took all day, but here's your mystic hammer. It doesn't look much different from a regular hammer..." Tom replies, "Well, that's the beauty of the mystic hammer." Later, TJ enters angrily saying he talked to his friend who was a contractor and was told there was no such thing as a "mystic hammer."
• In the premiere episode of the US cartoon Doug, the titular character is pressured by bully Roger Klotz into searching a local pond for a "neema toad," a play on the word nematode.
• In the machinima comedy series Red vs. Blue, the newly arrived Private Donut is sent to "the store" for elbow grease and headlight fluid while Private Caboose was sent by Tucker and Church to stand at attention for an imaginary General who comes and inspects the base and the most important part of the base, the flag. It should be noted that in a small bit of confusion Donut took the flag since what he thought was the store had no headlight fluid or elbow grease, and Caboose thought he was the general whom he was awaiting.
• In an episode of the cartoon Ren and Stimpy (season 4, episode 2b, entitled: "Eat my Cookies"), Ren and Stimpy join the "Barette Baret Girls Camp" (a reference to the Scouts).In an effort to attain 'the snipe-hunting badge,' Stimpy goes on a snipe hunt. Before Stimpy leaves on his snipe hunt, Ren incorrectly claims "There's no such thing as snipes! It's a practical joke!" Ren is correct, in that it IS a practical joke; however, he is incorrect in saying that snipes do not exist. Stimpy successfully catches a 'snipe;' however the 'snipe' depicted in the show bears no resemblance to actual snipes. Snipes are a type of bird (comprising of up to 20 different species of bird), but the 'snipe' depicted in the show is a monster with seven eyes, large fangs (birds do not have teeth), and hands instead of wings. Upon Stimpy's return, but before Ren sees the 'snipe' that Stimpy catches; Ren again incorrectly claims that snipes do not exist. In the same episode, Ren and Stimpy try to attain the 'Collect Badger Eggs' badge (badger's do not lay eggs; therefore, this also might be referred to as a 'snipe hunt' in the metaphorical sense). They are not shown successfully collecting the eggs, due to an irate badger which throws his/her eggs at Ren and Stimpy, but later in the episode it is mentioned that they have earned all the badges.
• In an episode of King of the Hill, Bobby and his friends are sent on a snipe hunt and wind up injuring an endangered whooping crane, believing it to be a snipe.
• In the first episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, "Help Wanted," SpongeBob is sent off to look for a "nonexistent" spatula (a hydrodynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments and turbo drive), which he finds.
• In an episode of Cheers, the guys at the bar take Frasier snipe hunting in the woods, and drive off, leaving him. On his return, he manages to convince the others that he had a great time, and fools them into going on another snipe hunt, while planning to take the car and abandon them.
• In the DC Comics mini-series JLA: Year One, Green Lantern asks the naïve to the surface world Aquaman to find a "bulb wrench."
• In the episode "Great Snipe Hunt" from the cartoon Camp Lazlo, Lumpus sends the Bean Scouts on a snipe hunt.
• In the daily comic FoxTrot by Bill Amend, the characters Jason and Peter send their father on a snipe hunt in the woods outside of Uncle Ralph's Cabin.
• In the movie Hackers, new students at a high school are informed of, what turns out to be, a nonexistent pool on the school's roof. The door from the roof to the school locks behind the students. When Kate Libby's latest victim, new student Dade Murphy, is sent on the roof to look at the pool, he returns hours later soaking wet, having spent the time in the rain. As Dade walks by, Kate exclaims to her friends, "He found the pool on the roof." This practical joke backfires on Kate when Dade hacks into the school's sprinkler test system and schedules the sprinklers to go off one morning. When Kate asks Dade what is going on, as he is standing underneath an umbrella, Dade answers, "The pool on the roof must have a leak."
• In one episode of Holby City (Team Holby) Kyla Tyson sends soon-to-be Doctor Matt Parker for a long stand on Darwin Ward after overhearing him complaining about the multi-disciplinary training he is on. He is told to wait by the desk for a minute by Chrissie Williams, until Sam Strachan (Tom Chambers) lets him in on the joke a few hours later.
• In the novel "Gust Front", Thomas Sunday is sent on a search for a can of "nannite undercoating", for which he jokingly substitutes K-Y Jelly.
• In the Dragonlance book, "Brothers in Arms," Caramon and Raistlin recall a snipe hunt from when they were kids.
• In an episode of the TV series Tour of Duty, Lieutenant Goldman is sent out on a snipe hunt into enemy territory by his rival, Lieutenant Johnny McKay.
• In the episode of the TV series Kim Possible, The Twin Factor, Dr. Drakken tells Shego (who is currently under mind control) to do a series of unnecessary tasks, one of which being to get a Dodo bird, which is impossible since it is extinct.
• In a first season episode of Carnivàle, Ben Hawkins is told to 'clean out the (non-existent) baggage trailer' as a joke after joining the carnival. He nonetheless finds a baggage trailer filled with eclectic and mysterious items, that then mysteriously vanishes. He is later able to summon it to appear at will with his full measure of avataric powers.

[edit] See also

• Fearsome Critters

[edit] Further reading

• The Little Red Book of Firehouse Pranks by Jeff Hibbard (ISBN 0-9667810-0-7)