Wikipedia:Oh, no! More Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
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| Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense |
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On the naming of this title, see Lemmings (computer game)
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[edit] James Montague
James Heinrich Tealeaf Montague (1873-1940) was born to French parents in Bordo but moved to England when he was five. The hedonistic social life of his parents meant that James spent much of his young life in the care of John Feathering-Walthamstone (an aged steel tycoon of an uncle) at Walthamstone Manor in north Sussex. It is from this time that he developed his famous aversion to uncles, steel and Sussex. Feathering-Walthamstone was a noted cat-beater, conservative and an upstanding member of the Askesian Society. He neglected James, often leaving him in cupboards for weeks at a time when a certain cat eluded him.
He emerged unscathed at the age of eighteen, with a good grounding in Latin, Greek, English Composition and Home Brewery. He was admitted into King's College, Oxford, to study Greek Classics, Roman Architecture and Italian Cooking. It was during this period he began to write his first novels, the first of these being completed in 1893. This first book, Rubber Ducky was inspired by the death of his parents. James inherited his father's wealth and his mother's dresses, a collection which he was "overjoyed" to have received.
It was his third novel published in 1901 which first earned him public recognition. This was none other than The Great Detective wherein we first meet his most famous character, Detective Drone, whom we come to admire through his curt and rude manners and boorish practices. It was only in the fifth novel that Drone meets the other memorable characters that make his novels so memorable: Lady Ordella Prune, a landed socialite and his fox-hunting, bird-shooting, goose-shooting, trap-setting, mole-stamping, duck-shooting, wren-blasting assistant investigator Assistant Investigator Pheasant.
Ah, this is only Part The Second. See the listing under John Antoine Nau at Wikipedia:More bad jokes than you can shake a stick at to see Part The First.
[edit] Lighter fluid
i used like grill lighter fluid and it worked very well, but it depends on what it says on the bottle, it has to actually say butane.
i am not responsible for you stupidity, nor is wikipedia.
-leandoever
Well, whadda ya know. A vandal with a conscience!
[edit] From Star Jones
Starlet Marie Jones (born March 24, 1962 in Badin, North Carolina), is one of the harridan/hosts of The View, a popular women-oriented morning show on the ABC American television network. She is a former lawyer and prosecutor.
Celebrated nuptials with Al Reynolds on November 14, 2004. At the reception, held at New York's Waldorf Astoria Hotel, she was secretly photographed consuming 638 pounds of suet. Threats to sue the photographer were stymied, as it was a satellite photo.
[edit] From Condoleezza Rice
Condoleezza Rice, Ph.D. (born November 14, 1954) became Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs, commonly referred to as the National Security Advisor, on January 22, 2001, under President George W. Bush, and she has been nominated by President Bush to replace Colin Powell as United States Secretary of State. She is the second African American (after Colin Powell) and first female National Security Advisor and would be the second African American (again after Colin Powell) and second female (after Madeleine Albright) Secretary of State if she were confirmed by the Senate.CONDOLEEZA RICE SOUNDS LIKE A MESICAN DISH MAYBE WE SHOULD PUT HER ON A DISH AND SEND HER TO MESICO AND LET THE MESICANS EAT HER
Mesican? Nex tyme, pleez yooze yur spel chek.
The joke originates from the "Blind Black White-Supremist" sketch on Chappelle's Show.
[edit] Stevebricks
Stevebricks are usually found lurking in builders' yards, in search of an area to give birth to its' young. These creatures are small in size, and have the waistsize of a peanut, even though they are perpetually pregnant. Even when they are giving birth, a Stevebrick is always preparing for the arrival of it's next litter. Births take place once or twice a week, depending on the health of the Stevebrick, and if it has found a comfortable place for its offspring to be born. As the Stevebrick gains in age, the waist size decreases. This is because a Stevebrick is born with all their babies already inside them, and as each baby is delivered, the waist size gets smaller. A Stevebricks are often confused with caterpillars, due to their 43 and a half legs, though it is simple to tell the difference by their lack of genitalia. A Stevebrick is neither male nor female. A Stevebrick has a poisonous bite, and can kill with just one venemous puncture. Death is fast, but extremely painful. There is no antidote. However, one way to avoid an angry Stevebrick is to sing 'Teenage Kicks' to it. This will lull it into a sense of wellbeing, and will probably give birth to another batch of babies.
[edit] From Adolf Hitler
he's dead.
Boring. Everyone knows he's dead.
[edit] From List of fictional people known by one name
This is a list of fictional people famous enough to be known unambiguously by one [name].
And later, in the list, we find:
- Nemo - from Finding Nemo
- Nemo - Captain Nemo from Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. I AM NOT DEAD!!! zehiel!!!!!!RAISE FROM ZE DEAD AND PURSUE MY DREAM OF BIENG THEONLY HYPORCRITICAL JEWISH WHITE BOY EVER!!!!
[edit] Yak Combing
Yak combin ias a hobby in most european countries but is partaken as an actual vocation in areas north of the arctic circle, Kazacstan and some areas of Cornwall(England). The technique varies from place to place but it is commonly said that Combing a yak is like "Raking fresh cut grass". In some smaller areas it forms such a large part of the regions economy that there are schools dedicated to the research and furthering of knowledge in this technical field.
The main technique used involves sedating the Yak to avoid the possible aggressive behaviour that this may create due to its brisk movements which may distress an un-sedated Yak. Farmers in Kazakstan, do not used a sedative but instead using the back of their throats sing two notes at the same time which has been said to hypnotise the yak and calm its nerves. Once sedated the brushing may begin.
Holding the 4 inch brush in your left hand and the 6 inch brush in your right, move the two brushes away from each other, 6 inch brush up and 4 inch brush down (this is due to the longe hair on the yak's back and shorter hair on its underside. Repeat until the top fur is pushed over the top of the yak so that the shorter under fur may be seen. Then using a normal human comb, brush the fur as you would your own hair.
WARNING, THE FOLLOWING IS THE PART THAT MAY DISTRESS THE YAK.
Using the normal cone as a guide for the centre parting down the yaks back, take the 6 inch comb and whip it across the yak flicking its longer fur back over to the side which it belongs with long swipes to comb the fur smoothe whilst allowing for air to circulate giving the fur a rich and fluffy look to it. The motion of thrusting your arms across its back would make an unsedated yak believe that you are trying to mate with it which will initiate the yak mating dance where it tries to stamp on your head.
Thus completes the Lesson in yak combing.
Thank you.
[edit] From Transubstantiation
According to Roman Catholic dogma, transubstantiation is the change of the substance of the Eucharistic elements — bread and wine — into the body and blood of Jesus Christ (although they retain the physical accidents — i.e. appearance, taste, texture, etc. (anything observable by science) — of bread and wine). In more colloquial use, the term refers to any belief in RADIOACTIVE DISCONNECTING LOOSE VAGINA!!!!
[edit] From Current Events
- The secret compound of international terrorist al-Zarqawi has been located, the location given away by a sign in Arabic that read "al-Qaida Organization".
Wait a moment - this isn't a joke, at least not according to: http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=263425&CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312
"In video shot by an embedded CNN cameraman, soldiers walked through an imposing building with concrete columns and with a large sign in Arabic on the wall reading "Al Qaida Organization" and "There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his messenger.""
Various other news sources report this, most attributing the original to the Associated Press. Ashley Pomeroy 15:26, 23 Nov 2004 (UTC)
[edit] From Metatron
Alternate spellings: Metraton (not to be confused with metric ton)
[edit] Gopher hole
Gopher holes are when a programmer is working on a project and cunniningly avoids contact and all communication with anyone looking to provide input or seeking progress reports on the project. Often the programmer will emerge from their gopher hole to replenish supplies of Jolt Cola or brazil nuts. When a programmer is caught outside their gopher hole immediate complaints about TPS reports come flying and the programmer will seek the nearest refuge, usually in a bunker or behind a wall of jargon.
the 'Jolt Cola' is a refference to the book 'Hackers' If I'm not mistaken.
[edit] Why the sky is blue
the sky is blue because of the energy that the sun gives, the sun is burning itself away which is a reaction that gives off energy in waves . these waves are directed at the earths atmosphere, the earths atmosphere is made up from layers the layers start from the ground and go all the way up to space. the layers act as a filter and they filter out the energy from the sun. the different frequencys of the waves determind what colour they are portrayed as, the smaller the frequency the closer together each crest of each wave is. the longest frequency is seen as red and infra red and the shortest is blue and ultra violet. all of the other waves are refracted off the earths atmosphere the smaller the waves the more layers they can get through. blue being the one smallest along with ultr violet which is what gives us sun burn, so the sky is blue because its wave is the only one that can get through our atmospere. which leads on to why the sea is also blue, this is because it acts as a mirron because it is clear with a dark background, either the sea bed or the deepness of the water, so as it acts as a mirror and the sky looking into the water is reflected which gives the impression that the water is also blue.
It's pretty unscientific, but accurate for the most part...
[edit] Oatmeal
Oatmeal contains Goombas that bite of you're dick.
Everyone loves great grammar and spelling
[edit] Admin Steve
Admin Steve is an admin at nintendo playas, a rude forum. He insulted a hacker called Metaru Sonikku and got cursed and became skeleton and is doomed to wander around like that until he kills metaru's great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandson.
The curse of the Black Pearl? ARrrrrrrr
[edit] From Pat Robertson
Marion Gordon "Pat" Robertson (born March 22, 1930) is a Christian televangelist in the United States, and founder of the Christian Coalition. He is the host of the popular TV show The 700 Club, which airs on many religious cable channels. His strongly conservative views have made him the subject of much controversy, especially his statements in favor of the dissolution of the barrier between church and state. He is an ordained Southern Baptist minister, but holds to a Pentecostal theology, a position which puts him at odds with many of his fellow Southern Baptists. He is most famous for his #1 hit song, How'd you like to touch my body?
[edit] Brabbler
Brabbler is a famous horse, he is famous for wearing a Sunderland A.F.C whilst running through the Northern England city of Brabble where everybody hates Sunderland A.F.C. It has been rumoured that he will be entered into professional horse racing but for now he runs around in his owner's back garden. It has also been rumoured that the story of Brabble will be made into a high-budget movie with the horse from Seabiscuit playing Brabbler and Michael Caine playing Brabbler's owner.
[edit] From Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/Extreme article deletion
Wikipedia:Extreme article deletion was proposed for extreme deletion. This page is an archive of the discussion about the proposed extreme deletion. This page is no longer live. Further comments should be made on the article's talk page rather than here so that this page is preserved as an extreme historic record. The result of the debate was to extreme keep. No points awarded. Cool Hand Luke 02:17, 22 Nov 2004 (UTC)
And from the VfD header on the page itself:
[edit] From Uploading and downloading
Download and upload refer the expelling of dung or the "sucking back in" of it.
[edit] Walri
A cool way of saying walruses, or walrus. Because plural for walrus is walruses. But plural for octopus is octopi, plural for cactus is cacti etc Uses: Walri rock! I want to be a Walri. Walri are my friends.
Walri and Walrus can replace nearly any lyric in a song for amusing effect.
EG; I want to be a walrus and i want to get stonned on mara-marawana ;)
or any other song.
To do an impression of a walri Say Narrrrrrrrrgggggggghh from the back of your throat.
The plural for octopus isn't octopi, it's octopusses. Really, yes, no i'm not joking, look it up. --Nitchell 08:03, 5 July 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Talk:Walri
I dont think this pages should be delted, as it i word i use greatly amongst my friends, and i want to explain it to the world.
---
Dear...well...everyone...
Kindly leave this page in tact (not this one, the one about Walruses..sorry...Walri). Walruses are a matter of some passion for my good friend who has added his comments on the marvelous Odobenus Rosmarus. Indeed the term 'Walri' is in a great deal of use throughout his rather comprehensive circle of friends, and is perhaps therefore deserving of a mention. Indeed, Mr Bryson notes in his 'Short History of Nearly Everything' that the principles surround nomenclature have only [comparitavely] recently been agreed in Science, and perhaps the term 'Walruses' was an inconsistent oversight, and as stated, many other animals in the plural are suffixed with 'i', not 'ses'.
Kind Regards
No one in particular
[edit] From Charlie Dog
Charlie appeared in "Disco Dog" from 1974 until it was canceled in 1978 on network television. It was a cartoon series which claimed to be broadcast on television, featured the cartoon dog duo, included himself and Scooby-Doo who sometimes had a brawl, but defended the government to shut down their dance club.
[edit] From Leather virgin
The opposite of a leather virgin is a leather roué' who has so many motorcycle jackets he can't be bothered to wear any of them.
[edit] From IRC
IRC is also commonly referred to as the "multiplayer notepad".
[edit] Anything
ANYTHING Anything could be anything! Any living thing, any non-living thing. Any verb, noun, adverb, adjective, anything! It could be a dog or it could be a Pizza Hut. It could be you, it could be me! This article you are reading is anything. The computer you are using is anything. Anything is evrything!!
By: Kat Moon-Fl.
[edit] From Ecco the Dolphin
Ecca's Quest
In the third and final game in the main Ecco series, Ecco is captured by the Romans. It is up to his female clone and life partner Ecca to save him, a task more complicated than it first appeared. Ecca was forced to collect the seven Rings of Conquest and trade them with the Hive Queen of the Borg in order to receive the bionic armor she would need to dive into the Volcano of Destiny and press the Really Big Button. When she finally pressed the button, the game simply ended, rather unsatisfyingly ignoring the fate of Ecco forever.
- We all might want to note that this was added by Jim Shliferstein, who is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences. He did this for his column Arr! Thursdays [1] - Ta bu shi da yu 22:18, 2 Dec 2004 (UTC)
[edit] 3-rule impossibility
This is a logical impossibility created by Joshua Caplan. It consists of 3 rules:
- Do not follow this rule.
- Follow 1.
- Follow all rules.
[edit] Funniest word in the world
cookie
(I put it in here not because I wanted to create an article, but because I'm mean!!!!! Ahahaha! Delete it or die!)
[edit] Clayton Spence
Horray i finally have my name somewhere this proves i exist so........................fuck all of you.WHat what you wanna start somtin bitch ass mother fuckers.......................................................................................... ....................................................................................................................................................sob sob sob i have no real friends in real life please feel sorry for me.
[edit] on Wikipedia:Tutorial (Editing)/sandbox
[edit] An atomic bunny, designed to destroy everyone
The atomic bunny was, fortunately, a failure. Unfortunately, it spawned several mini-bunnies that quickly burrowed into the earth. In 2017, they will come up and eat everyone!
[edit] D'Agapeyeff cipher
Ubj pna lbh gryy na rkgebireg sebz na vagebireg ng AFN? Va gur ryringbef, gur rkgebiregf ybbx ng gur BGURE thl'f fubrf.
[edit] Buying Chocolate
Buying chocolate information is her and you can get chocolate in easter eggs, choco bars, wafer and also white chocolate forms.
Buying chocolate can be difficult at certian time sof the year, but should be easy enough if you are feeling chocolatey. Please take note that buying chocoalte can be very dangerous and if you buy too much, illegal under THE CONSUMPTION OF CHOCOLATE (United Kingdom) ACT 2002
Chocolate is purchased by going into a shop and following these simple steps:
1. Say "I want chocolate" or "Hey, dude, give me a bar of chocolate now"
or Look for it yourself in the SWEET isle or under CHOCOLATE
2. Make the purchase by handing over money (usually from 30p upwards) to the shopkeeper or checkout assistant.
or Just run away with it...really fast and hope you don´t get arrested. When you are in prison, saying to other hardened criminals that you are inside for nicking a bar of chocolate could result in you bending over for the soap.
3. Enjoy
Remember the following:
Chocolate can cause the shits if you eat large quantities.
Chococlate is best served melted on a memeber of the opposite sex.
Good Luck
4. Gimmie a Break, Gimmie a Break.
[edit] War of the Pixies
The War of the Pixies started when the moon was created. The communist pixies, or 'Stalinixies' wanted land on the moon, but the capitalist pixies, or 'CEOpixies' claimed a right to it through a lawsuit. There ensued many years of fighting. The Stalinixies fought with hammers and scythes and rode their missiles into battle, whilst the CEOpixies fought with briefcases and rode office chairs. The Stalinixies won and eventually evolved to humans and rode their missiles to Earth and forgot everything they knew and became many different varieties of animal and palnt.
[edit] Asha and hafsa
'ASHA AND HAFSA ARE SISTERS YEP THERE SISTERS THEY HAVE ONE BROTHE NAME HUSSEIN THERE BEAUTIFUL AND SMART.'
[edit] From 1999 (number)
1999 is the number equal to 1000 + 900 + 90 + 9. It is a prime number, the larger in a pair of twin primes. In Roman numerals, it is MCMXCIX.
[edit] Gophers- Our Prairie Squirrels
Posted with the edit summary "Gophers are the enigma of the agricultural world."
Gophers- Our Prairie Squirrels
Most of us who live on the Canadian Prairies have encountered Gophers at one time or another. This not only applies to folks living in the country, but also to those of us who live in urban areas where they are the bane of the existance of golf club grounds' superintendents and public park foremen.
They live underground for about 80% of their lives, usually coming out only to feed or propogate.
Even though we generally call them Gophers, in actual fact they are Richardson Ground Squirrels. Farmers and ranchers see them as pests whose den openings often result in livestock breaking legs. Gophers destroy great volumes of grain crops through indiscriminate eating of cereal crops.
Many programs have been developed to rid the country side of these cute but destructive animals. During the depression era of the 1930's, local governments paid children and adults a penny or two per gopher tail brought in to collection points. Poisoned grain was scattered in fields. Young people made a sport of shooting them with twenty-two rifles.
All to little avail, as the procreation drive was stronger than any pest control methods that were developed.
Long live the gophers.
[edit] from Talk:Jamie Lynn Spears
[edit] Part 1
My name is Max and i think Jamie is hott. I am 11 years old. What is her screen name i really want it and i need her age
Jamie's screen name is marderiii on AOL. Im not sure of her ICQ number. Lir 01:55 Nov 3, 2002 (UTC)
We don't need teenage discussions of Jamie's "hottie-ness" on a talk page; and if that really was her AOL screen name, which I doubt, it doesn't need to be spread about. -Easter Bradford-
First off discussions of hottie-ness aren't necessarily teenager. Second off, NPOV is not applicable to talk pages. Third off, that is her AIM SN and if she wants people to know it, then she can have it spread about as she wants.
marderiii uis your AIM, Lir!
are you trying to imply that I'm not Jamie Spears? Lir 12:56 Nov 10, 2002 (UTC)
if your jamie spears, then i'm Henry Kissinger.
woah...yer like some kinda great statesman huh? Lir 13:07 Nov 10, 2002 (UTC) hi!
- Note that the screen name above actually belongs to User:Plato, who apparently has been involved in WP longer than I thought. Pakaran (ark a pan) 19:59, 6 Dec 2004 (UTC)
[edit] Part 2
jamie is so funny i am glad she made all that, i just wish i could meet her and maybe even marry her if i get to meet her and end up liking her but, from what i heard and seen she is pretty attracting
second comment written by rudy resendez in pasadena,texas
comment written by rudy resendez in pasadena,texas
hi rudy i live in mo city. email is hougrl321no@yahoo.com if you would like to talk or whatever, im bored.
So there we have a guy with a girls email...
[edit] From Halo 3
[edit] Rumored Plot
Set in October 2552, Ninth Age of Reclaimation
On Delta Halo I-05 the UN-CFSASC [ United Nations-Covenant Forerunner Separatist Alliance Space Command] assembles a "Grand Army" to end the war once and for all after training and reorganization and the Arbiter [with a new Elite-Spartan armor]is among those that lead it.
They destroy High Charity after freeing Cortana, killing Gravemind, conquer the rest of the Halo Installations from the Covenant and Flood, reconquer the United Earth Nations Empire, and when they reach Earth, they were joined by the rest of the Spartan IIs and Human Rebels of the Eridanus System the Arbiter fought his way to the Prophets'Forerunner flagship [The Ark is on Earth or is the Forerunner ship that powers High Charity] which had arrived at the Ark on Earth. There the Spartans and the Arbiter fought their way to the bridge and throne room near the reactor where they slay the last Prophet in a energy sword duel after the Ark recommences the firing of the Halo Installations [start of the Great Journey] throughout the Galaxy and then its shuts down.
Master Chief and his Spartans and the Arbiter escaped the ship which explodes and crashes into an Earth City where firefighters raced to the scene.
The Delegating Councilors of the United Nations-Covenant Separatists and the Forerunners congratulate John and the Arbiter, but talk turns to the true nature of the war that was settled in a Peace Treaty.
All over the Galaxy crowds were celebrating the end of the war and the start of the Great Journey.
The spirits of previous Arbiters and the Reclaimers [Spartans, Arbier]'s Forerunner predecessors watched over them and the Halo Installations were placed under International Treaty ban on WMD, transformed into Military Bases and they can be used in case of nuclear war.
Future generations of Spartans and Arbiters will carry on their predecessors' traditions and legacy as the Great Journey reaches its final destination.
The prophency of the Reclaimers destroying the Flood has been finally fulfilled.
SUCK IT BLUE!!!!
[edit] Pielebration
A celebration involving one or more pie of various varieties.
[edit] University of pittsburgh
A school in Pittsburgh
[edit] House of Fraser
The House of Fraser was a house originally built in 1797 for monkeys under the name House of Monkey. It housed all kinds of monkeys and a few baboons too. Though due to excessive baboonery, the baboons were forced out on their ear. Naughty baboons.
As the monkeys grew, so too did House of Monkey, until one day the monkey heirachy was forced to appoint a 'king of monkeys'. The monkey appointed king and heir to the banana stash was a monkey named 'Fraser'. It was henceforth known as 'House of Fraser'.
During the 'great banana shortage of London' in 1869, many of the monkeys were forced to find work elsewhere. Most moving north to become miners and tea bag guardians. Thus the term 'northern monkeys' came into fruition and monkeys have been associated with tea bags ever since.
In 1910, Fraser's ill health led to the appointment of a Gary the porcupine taking over the shop and he turned the house into a shop selling perfume and designer goods. He started with just porcupine merchandise, but due to the small population of porcupines in the UK, he was forced into selling goods to a wider market and not just spiky animals.
In 1923, after much success, Gary or 'G-baby' as he was affectionately known, decided to float the shop on the Thames. It subsequently sank due to poor buoyancy. He should have hired beavers to do the job if you ask me. After re-buildong a year later, he floated the shop on the stock market, where it stayed afloat.
In 1959 'G-baby' bought Harrods because he was feeling a bit flush and wanted to impress his mates. What a character.
Ever since House of Fraser has been selling goods to the public and that is why they have a stag on their logo, because Fraser the monkey liked 'em, he did.
[edit] From Talk:Clitoris
Amongst the controversy of what picture to include with this article we have the following:
This isn't going anywhere productive, so I go off on a humorous tangent. I think any picture will do. I hereby propose that the image to the right, CREATED by me (not just recorded by me), should be used as a replacement for the Human Vulva picture! It doesn't clearly show the clitoris, either, but being the egotist like I am, I think everyone will agree with me. Let the voting begin! PhiloVivero 09:09, 28 Nov 2004 (UTC)
-
- Yes it is an improvement. Not only does it not display the clitoris but as an improvement the vulva neither. Great! Why vote? Just get a tame admin to insert it for you. - Robert the Bruce 11:56, 28 Nov 2004 (UTC)
Also:
The new picture is much better. We should certainly keep it, as it avoids the porn-star offensiveness of the old picture (with or without the Photoshop removal of the nail polish), and provides a good clear view without any overtones. Tannin 11:39, 21 Nov 2004 (UTC)
- A good clear view of what? - Robert the Bruce 02:03, 22 Nov 2004 (UTC)
- Sunrise over Mt Fuji. What do you think? Tannin 11:37, 22 Nov 2004 (UTC)
[edit] From Bavaria
Bavaria shares international borders with Australia and the Czech Democratic. Neighbouring states within Germany are Bath-Sausage, Heifer, Tickle and Saxophone. ILL TAKE YOUR CLIT, AND MIX IT WITHSOME OTHERSHIT,TO HAVE UR CLIT HAVE SOKE SHIT TO TIP THE WIT OF TEH BIT LIT.
[edit] From Cattle
More recently these three have increasingly been grouped as one species, sometimes using the names Bosartichokes are vry funny in different countries with lots of sonic and walruses and retarded kids that run from cars and pee in there pants with cows that are having affairs with george bush and various other things like little blue creatures that yell at the top of their lungs 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'monkeys flying and digging undrer ground with other oragutabns that inject others with anthrax primigenius taurus, Bos primigenius indicus and Bos primigenius primigenius.
[edit] From Björk
Bjork is a vegetable, resembling a turnip but tasting like nothing else, that is commonly eaten in Britain at Christmas as it is only in season in the month of December.
[edit] From Wikipedia meal
HOW TO PREPARE A WIKIPEDIA MEAL
Ingredients: 1 Wikipedia lettuce salt, pepper
1. Put Wikipedia into oven. Bake slowly for 5-10 minutes. 2. Put Wikipedia on plate. Arrange lettuce around it. 3. Sprinkle meal with salt and pepper. Serve cold.
When you eat Wikipedia meal, all the info from Wikipedia immediately go into your head. Isn't it great?
-
- Wouldn't a WikiMeal be one in which a stove was put in a room with a pot on top and people came and added ingredients? (And which inevitably vandals would put cyanide in?)
[edit] from Anceint rome
romsw was ther fo 10908708453290735207 yars. then it hit the sun.
the same user, 8 minutes later, in Anicent rome:
ROME IS COOL! IT LIKE HIT THE SUN! THEN IT GOT ALL FIREY AND STUFF! THEN IT WENT LIKE BOOM! THEN IT WAS LIKE POOF! THEN ALL THE PEEPS WERE LIKE DOOMED!
[edit] from Bob Dylan
Much of his best known work ("How Many Diapers Must a Man Change," et al.) is from the 1960s, when his musical shadow was so large that he became a documentarian and reluctant figurehead of American unrest.
[edit] from "Viking Ventures"
Viking Ventures
Viking Ventures was founded in 2003 on the campus of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. VV was orginally a colloboration of a group of students living in Craige dorm. This group, known as The E.Y.O. also known as suite 110, needed a name for an organization to help them engage in trade on Ebay.
Sole ownership of Viking Ventures has since been consolidated into the hands of Erik Helgesen. He is the current CEO, president, Chairman, head waiter, and dishwasher. VV offers a variety of consulting services and is willing to tackle other projects as the needs arrise. Current projects include:
- Completing a presentation on the Wikipedia for INLS 50
- Solving world hunger/peace
[edit] from Babism
Infamous saying of Andrew Babcock.
Examples:
"I have a girlfriend, but I only get to see her at family reunions."
"I have two minority friends, which means I can not be racist. Well, they aren't really friends, just people I know."
"If you vote for John Kerry, you will die."
[edit] Goth nudism (From nudism)
Since the 1980's in the US, there has been developing a Goth nudist movement. Whereas the "mainstream" nudism in America likes doing activities in the sun, the Goth nudist movement does its activities only at night and almost always indoors at a Goth nightclub. Suntans and pubic hair are unacceptable in Goth nudism and Goth nudists commonly add a light dusting of white powder to their skins to make themselves look even paler. However, only female Goths are normally allowed to be nudists at clubs. Female Goth nudists typically arrive at the clubs in black trenchcoats with nothing underneath, remove the coats once indoors, normally do not have to pay a cover charge for coming nude (some clubs even giving them free drinks), and only put on their coats again when leaving. Some gay and bisexual Goth nightclubs though do allow male Goths be to nude. This Goth nudist movement is still evolving and seems to coincide with the growing emergence of unisex restrooms and disappearance of separate sex restrooms at Goth clubs. It is for this reason that the Goth nudist movement could simply be another way that Goths are trying to socially separate themselves from mainstream society.
[edit] From Talk:Adolf Hitler
Anti-semitism?
I've heard allegations that he was anti-semitic, is this true?
anti-semitic? ANTI-SEMETIC????? He ordered 6 million Jews to die!!!!!!!!
[edit] From Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf
- [[Category:1972 births|Dwarf, Hank The Angry Drunken]]
- [[Category:2001 deaths|Dwarf, Hank The Angry Drunken]]
[edit] Erisism
This piece of BJAODN is too big to put directly here, so it is at Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense/Erisism.
[edit] Wikigeek
Person who believes in the concept of this website. Often bullied and beaten up by bigger kids.
- More accurate definition: Person who believes in the concept of this website. Often bullied and beaten up by bigger kids and normal geeks. ;) --Andylkl 12:58, 6 Dec 2004 (UTC)
[edit] Black spot
bark on my apple tree(approx 4 years old) is turning black.Its an Anna.Any help or ideas would be appreciated sws
[edit] From stepping
Stepping can also be the name for a process of locomotion—either forward or backward movement engaged in by bipedal (i.e. humans, chickens) and quadripedal (rats, deer) and multi-pedal (i.e. insects) organisms consisting of putting the left foot forward, following with the right foot, and repeating. Monopedal organisms often experience difficulty in stepping.
In general, for bipedal organisms like humans, stepping is done as follows:
- Extend one foot forward (hereafter known as the primary foot). In the military, the left foot is often used to start off, though in casual settings no one really gives a shit.
- Plant aforemtioned primary foot down as you shift your weight forward. As you do so begin to lift the heel of your other foot (hereafter known as the secondary foot) up.
- Raise up your secondary foot from the ground (or whatever you happen to be walking on) and bring it forward, then extend it out and repeat.
There are of course other methods of stepping. Many people use their secondary foot's toes to push off the ground. It is also possible, for instance, to do it extremely quickly. This is known as running. In running, as you extend the secondary foot forward, the primary foot has already left the ground (or whatever you happen to be running on).
About.com suggests:
The walking step is a rolling motion.
- Strike the ground first with your heel, your ankle flexed.
- Roll through the step from heel to toe.
- Push off with your toe.
- Bring the back leg forward to strike again with the heel.
- Flexible shoes will ensure you are able to roll through the step.
- If your feet are slapping down rather than rolling through, your shoes are likely too stiff.
- At first, your shin muscles (anterior tibialis) may tire and be sore until they are strengthened.
- If you are really striking with the heel, someone watching you from in front will see the sole of your shoe on each step. Think about showing them your sole.
- On your forward foot, let the ankle do the work of flexing your foot, don't lift your foot with your toes.
- A good push off by your toes on your rear leg will add power and speed to your step.
Strike with heel. Back foot rolls through to push off.
Front foot continues to roll through step as back foot comes forward. Front foot strikes with heel and here we go again!
Some people do not step like this, however, they are unique exceptions. The author is firmly of the belief that in fact, imitating some people results in distinctly low levels of coolness, and only the original creator of stepping methods is entitled to carry it out.
Stepping is a very useful activity to get from Point A to Point B. However, some people do not believe that this is in fact possible. However, the author of the article has had enough experience to say that some people do not understand infinite series and are therefore idiots.
Stepping is also useful when performed in tune to music: this is known as dancing and is either viewed as incredibly romantic or incredibly cool, but rarely both at the same time.
[edit] from Underpants Gnomes
The Underpants Gnomes have a three-phase business plan, consisting of:
- Collect underpants
- ???
- Profit!
None of the gnomes actually know what the second phase is, and all of them assume that someone else within the organization does. A similar business model is also found in one episode of Arthur, and the recent Bush Tax Plan.
Gee, just a teensy bit too POV?
[edit] from Neon orange cheese
Neon Orange Cheese is the type of cheese often found in Kraft Dinner. It doesn't look very appetising, but you'd be surprised at how good it tastes on macaroni and cheese. Sometimes this cheese can be Neon Green Cheese, but you should try to stay away from it, for it can and most likely make you very very sick. Most people disregard this warning anyways.
[edit] from Vandalism in Progress
- ( 68.21.185.217 | talk | contributions)
This guy is having a little too much fun in the sandbox.
- Er. I agree. But he now seems to be having fun adding himself to vandalism in progress [2].
[edit] Graham day
[When creating a vanity page you may as well do it with style! Thue | talk]
Graham Day, known as Graham Andrew Day by his parents is a universally attractive "sexual beast". Decriptions of Graham are quite wide ranging, but all complimentary as he is 'immense'. Here are just a few quotes that refer to Mr. Day - or "THE D" as he is often known: "Oh my gosh!.. (THE D)... is larger than life - in some places he is even larger than that!" (a very busty female student at Huddersfield university - Graham's place of study)
Graham is very popular and has a huge following. He has had many societies and clubs set up to appreciate the quality he has brought to the world. Clubs such as: "it's the D for me!", "The GLA" (Graham Lovers Annonymous) and "The Grade-A/Gra-Day Fan Club".
There is a down side to Graham's supreme superiority in every aspect of life - this is his mass sex-appeal. Graham finds it hard to walk the streets without being pounced on by sex hungry women all after a piece of his well-endowed member (he has been likened to a donkey!). This is not the problem for "The D", it is the fact that his excellence in looks and style also attracts members of the opposite sex - Graham regularly has to deny the advances of males after a look in. Recent examples include Joe Lewis and Craig Wilson's advances, which included siniging telegrams and chocolates, being turned down. "I was gutted to be told no" exclaimed Craig "I just wanted to hold it for a bit!" "I can understand what Craig is feeling" added Joe "but i wanted to do more than just hold it!"
"The D" Would like to thank all the women over the world for admiring his supreme beauty, but regrets that he is indeed straight and apologises to the males of the world.
[edit] The vote to delete Unstoppable force, unmovable object inspires a song
A paradox! a paradox! a stale and hackneyed paradox!/We're fair and balanced just like Fox/But this one smells like last day's socks
[edit] Secret Sport of China
In between watching pornography (animated or otherwise) and memorising answers to questions to exams instead of understanding the material Chinese children, in the late stages of high school, relieve tension by playing a sport that has gone relatively undocumented. Separated from western society by language and cultural barriers knowledge of this sport has been limited to the Chinese and irritated high school students with Chinese students from foriegn exchange programs that happened to witness the sport being played. Since the rules of the sport is not communicated it is automatically generated and is the collaborative result of all of their wisdom, creativity and intelligence.
The rules are simple: - Run around and try to grab other peoples genitals - Prevent others from grabbing your genitals
This sport is restricted to males as females of like ages genitals´ are not as easy to grab and women over 40 years are not known to play. The sport was first uncovered in schools in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney, Australia. The motivation for the play of this sport is unknown but it is well maintained that it causes pleasure that is erotic in nature by students who observe it.
Professor Oxnard Oberth,
Hempshire Odessa, England Cambridge University
[edit] From ROT13
Encrypted using standard ROT26 technology.
[edit] Derek Jamison
Derek Jamison (born March 25, 1986 Grove City, Pennsylvania) American actor and writer.
Jamison is best known for her manifestement gros style of stage performance. Critics describe her as an interesting blend of poetic grace and uncouth affectation. Her best known off-Broadway performances are Prissy in the musical adaptation of the Gone With the Wind sequel Scarlett, and Sodor Line Caboose in the Thomas the Tank Engine Review at the Mercer County Fair.
Her writing has been similarly welcomed by critics. Her privately published epic Vanity of the Ages brought acclaim from Western Pennsylvania's Vorticist movement, along with financial ruin from her backers. Her lesser known works include the Persimmon Cookie Recipe on page 64 of Cooking with Crisco and Part 2 of the Preamble to the EU Constitution, The Charter of Fundamental Rights of the Union.
[edit] From Talk:Water polo
I have read that Water Polo is stupid. I've recently found out that I was right.
[edit] From Women in the 1800s
Women in the 1800s did not exist.They died out. Men and tigers mated to create offspring. Wood was the main diet for the men. Any baby girls who were born died of wood poisoning immedietly
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