Wikipedia:It's Bad! It's a Joke! It's Other Deleted Nonsense!
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
| Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense |
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Reference to, "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!"
| Add to BJAODN |
[edit] PlayNOW!
PlayNOW! has classic members discussing topics of games to everyday life. The usual culprits are: DJ Fusion, the main man. Lambchop, Sony's love child, born to spread the word of Sony and bury Xbox anyway he can. Scrote, the outrageously foul mouthed little asian wannabe. Candy Arse, EA have bought many things out over time, but this one does it all for free. Cletus, if you mess with him, he will eat your children. Grey Wizard, had a spat online with a male lover,WTF??!!! MX Legend, supports the Penrith Panthers and declares that he is in fact a graphics whore. And many, many more!!!
[edit] From Wikipedia:Articles for creation
[edit] User:216.237.179.238
[edit] Lye
Newcomb is the catcher in the Lye.
[edit] Chris Kirby
Chris Kirby is a ticket inspector of some notoriety, working on the train operating company Midland Mainline. He especially frequents the route of London St. Pancras to Nottingham, and is an avid fare collector for the company. He remains highly loyal to Midland Mainline.
Routes Operated He can be found mostly on Midland Mainline Routes:
- London St. Pancras to Nottingham
- Nottingham to London St. Pancras via Beeston and Market Harborough
Please note that another Midland Mainline employee (identified by a green MM jacket) is also on the train from Nottingham to Market Harborough on some occasions. However, this is not Chris Kirby.
Other Information If travelling on a train with Chris Kirby on board, it is vital to remember these pointers to avoid being caught out by him. He will walk around the train regularly, saying "Tickets and Railcards". If you do not have these items, you will be fined for the maximum penalty fare + a Chris Kirby surcharge of 9 pence.
Chris Kirby will often appear to be leaving the train when stopped at Leicester (often in the presence of another Midland Mainline "bad boy"). Do not be deceived by this - he may walk alongside the train for some time, but he will board it again.
[edit] Wikipedians will do anything
From the reference desk...
can you balance a egg on your foot?? Maoririder 20:54, 6 December 2005 (UTC) not a trick question.
- I just tried it and I could do it easily. —Keenan Pepper 21:55, 6 December 2005 (UTC)
-
- While it's very easy the balance the egg on its side, it is more difficult (ie still possible, but it fell off my foot and cracked) to balance it on its end. --Commander Keane 22:04, 6 December 2005 (UTC)
Further down the page, one finds this:
How long would it take to go from Tintagel to Edinburgh on a horse if you could only take roman roads or oldr roads? 216.43.124.150 20:34, 8 December 2005 (UTC)
- I bet those guys that were balancing eggs on their feet will love this one. ;) Mareino 22:57, 8 December 2005 (UTC)
[edit] Over wikified
A page that is over-wikified has too many links concerning the basic text. This makes the article look unprofessional, and is frowned-upon in the Wikipedia community.
[edit] Hacker standard time
Hacker standard time (HST) is a relative time zone occurring no less than three hours behind where the hacker actually lives. This means, should a hacker be awake at 3am according to local time, it is only midnight in his time zone. It is important to note that hacker standard time is adjustable according to occupation and time of year. Should the hacker still be in school, the three hour rule generally applies. However, during his summer vacation, the rule is traditionally scalable to at least an 8 hour difference. This enables hackers to miss daylight entirely, keeping to their necessary vampiristic existence.
If the hacker is out of school and in the working world, hacker standard time may be adjusted such that the hacker adjustment takes place only at night. This means should the hacker be awake at 2:59 am local time, it is but 11:59pm his time. However, when he wakes up at 7am for work, it is 7 am in both HST and local time, meaning the hacker simply scales back the amount of sleep he gets, existing on the half hacker standard time regimen.
So, when you see a hacker early in the morning (1pm or earlier in local time), please avoid loud noises. Allow them to adjust to their surroundings for at least an hour before any valuable information exchanges are conducted.
[edit] Choosing Sides in the American Revolution
though many are lost by this point, they colonitst actually escaped from a giant running stomach that was filled with just-eaten spaghetti. They tried to battle its forces of cells and meatballs with giant spoons, but lost when the pear people brought out their seeds. Sad, but true. Their graveyard rests in the jelly world of neopia. For more information visit http://www.neopets.com/jelly
[edit] From Whose Line is it Anyway?
[edit] Spin-Offs
PBS had a short lived spin-off of the show called "Whose Linear Equation is it Anyway? that was intended to help teach middle-schoolers algebra skills.
[edit] From Scale of five
[edit] About
Amongst scales in general, the Scale of Five (5) is considered to be the simplest one in usage. By utilizing only a single number --the number five (5)-- the process of rating becomes extremely effective through exclusion of any other number. The Scale of five is not to be confused with the more common "scale of one to five" nor the "scale of one to five"'s bigger brother "scale of one to ten".
[edit] History
The scale was invented by Rev. G. Brynjólfsson, Rev. F. T. Ásgeirsson, G. Þorgilsson III et. al. in the fall of 1998 due to the necessity for streamlining the process of rating.
[edit] Related
An extended version of the Scale of Five (5) exists that expands the scope of the rating system. While allowing more flexibility in rating, this is generally considered less pure by Scale-of-Five-(5)-purists, seeing as it greatly reduces the generalibiliy of the original scaling system. The three categories of the extended version are: "barely five (5)", "five (5)" and "five (5) and then some", where "barely five (5)" is the lowest rating and "five (5) and then some" is the highest.
[edit] Usage
Scaling and/or rating, being an itricate part of the modern society, has been used to quantify things, events and happenings for many a millenium. Early examples of ratings come from The Holy Bible where Jesus' actions are rated as "miracles" or variations thereof, as defined by the canonization process whereas mortal mens actions of the same nature are only considered good deeds. The Scale of Five (5) would rate Jesus' actions as Five (5) and the actions of mortal men as Five (5) and the extended Scale of Five would rate Jesus' actions as Five (5) and then some and the actions of mortal men as barely Five (5). On the extended Scale of Five (5) Saints' actions would be rated Five (5).
The Nielsen Rating system is a widely known rating system for televison and a fierce competitor of the Scale fo Five (5) rating system. Giving more details it has been more popular and used.
Inherit complexities of more elaborate scaling systems such as the better known "Scale of one to ten" made famous the film "10" (ten) demand a lengthy deciding process with multiple variables to consider before finally giving a decisive rating to the subject in question while the Scale of Five (5) simplifies and shortens the process.
All in all the Scale of Five (5) revolutionizes the rating process, streamlines it and makes it more accessible for the general public.
[edit] From Supermarket
[edit] Fitty International
Philadelphia Major John Street is currently in talks with the FAA to consider renaming Philadelphia International Airport (PHL) to Fitty International. If approved, the change would take effect in 2007.
Image:50Cent.jpg
[edit] From Forney, Texas
Forney is a city.
[edit] Geography
It's in Texas.
[edit] Demographics
Apparently, someone lives here.
[edit] Education
Supposedly, there's an education system. It's rated "academically acceptable" by the state of Texas.
[edit] External links
Depending on whom you ask, there may or may not be any links.
[edit] Grayson Cupit
Born in 1684 in the city of Pizzaz in a country that does not exist, Grayson Cupit, author of "Overclocking a Toaster for Dummies", has contributed much to the modern world. If it were not for his research into Quantum Coca-Beans, the newly developed SFET Scan (Smoldering Fetus Emission Tomography Scan) would not be possible.
Remember to think of Cupit next time your bagel sets off the smoke alarm.
[edit] From Jack Bauer, under Trivia
- Jack Bauer can, in fact, divide by zero.
- There is no theory of evolution, just creatures that Jack Bauer allows to live.
- Jack Bauer has two speeds, walk and kill.
- In the average room, there are 1,242 items that Jack could use to kill you, including the room itself.
[edit] From February 30
you are a gay mofo
[edit] Wikipedia:Bad articles
This page was created in response to the WP:TFD vote on {{GA}} and {{DelistedGA}}, which are both part of Wikipedia:Good articles. While not deleted yet, "Bad articles" seems like it at least falls into the Bad Jokes category. Slambo (Speak) 16:27, 8 December 2005 (UTC)
[edit] ==The Julian Calendar==
The Julian Calendar was invented by Professor Marcus Julian of Oxford Brooks University. Professor Julian's objection to the more commonly-used Gregorian Calendar, voted the most popular calendar of all time by the American senate in 1978, was that the month of July, in which he has a birthday, featured only once. His new version of the calendar had the month of July falling not just between June and August, but between December and January, and between March and April also. Due to a typographical error which was not spotted until after the calendar returned from the printer's, Gay somewhat contentiously replaced the month of May. (NB: A lesser-known feature of the Julian calendar is its lack of any leap years. As a result of a minor accident involving a horse, since boyhood Professor Julian has been able to walk only with the aid of two canes, and is entirely incapable of jumping. It is widely speculated that this was the reason he chose to remove all leap years from his new version of the calendar.) He named the calendar after his personal favourite celebrity, well-known homosexual comedian Julian Clary.
[edit] From WP:ENC
- WIKIPEDIA IS NOT A HOT DOG
- WIKIPEDIA IS NOT USUALLY WRITTEN IN LARGE LETTERS LIKE THIS
[edit] From Shiffy: the untold story
[edit] Origins
Your Mom your Dad and Shiffy is a hit song that is loosely based on a Massachusetts resident, Shifra Baranofsky. A couple of her peers in school became enamored with her nickname, which was "shiffy", and began to sing different phrases, inserting "Shiffy" whenever they pleased. Some good lyrics were thought up, but none that were truly ground-breaking.
[edit] Revelation
Eventually, two geniuses named Zacharias Renoui and Josephus Sepa stumbled upon the phrase "Your Mom, Your Dad, and Shiffy" (Copyright 1998. These lyrics immediately spread throughout the metropolitan Boston community. People would walk all over the streets of Boston, with sweet songs of "Your Mom, Your Dad, and Shiffy" filling the air.
[edit] Spread of Popularity
This was an immediate hit with classmates, and a select few were chosen to create an album, showcasing many "Your Mom, Your Dad, and Shiffy" tunes. Debuting in 2001, the album, "Your Mom, Your Dad, and Shiffy: The Awkward Years", with lead singer Effy Shafner, debuted #5 on the Yeshiva billboard charts. It was nominated for four "Music Moshe" awards, but did not succeed in taking first prize.
[edit] A Tragic Ending
Unfortunately, Mrs. Baranofsky suffered a stroke after learning of a tragedy on October 27th, 2004, and passed away. She is survived by her Girl Scout cookie business, and millions of loyal fans. "Your Mom, Your Dad, and Shiffy" will never be the same, but the band continues to fill the hearts of everyone in honor of Mrs. Baranofsky.
[edit] Breaking News( From the Elton John article)
In a recent interview, Elton John has expressed his desire to marry his new partner, Mark Johnston, While Elton John's antics have often landed him in the spotlight, his new partner seeks to keep his sexual promiscuity under profile. However, Mark Johnston has announced that he is fully prepared to assume the role of the bride, and has expressed his desire to wear the full bridal gown.
[edit] From Flatulence
L. Ron Hubbard banned flatulence from Scientology claiming it was a way Xenu repelled humans with high Thetan levels and how it denies us of the truth.
[edit] From the Trials of Saddam Hussein
See for yourselves...
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Trials_of_Saddam_Hussein&oldid=30625770
[edit] From Wikipedia talk:Requests for arbitration
[edit] Motion to dismiss for lack of jurisdiction
As this matter touches on Nuclear energy, the Arbcomm must realize that the Price-Anderson Act removes all jurisdiction on such matters to the Federal courts, accordingly, the Arbcomm has no authority to regulate, interfere, or hear disputes arising from such matters. Because the action took place in North Carolina, which is a signatory to the US Constitution by the hand of one William Blount in 1787 (reaffirmed by the Peace Treaty of 1861), it is subject to the laws of the United States of America, including the provisions of the Price-Anderson Act as contained in US 42.23.A § 2210. Indemnification and limitation of liability (n)(2) as reads:
This venue is therefore deprived of its usual jurisdiction and required to remove the complaint forthwith. Benjamin Gatti 03:49, 9 December 2005 (UTC)
[edit] The classic =
One of THE most common changes to the article Earth is to replace the text with "Harmless" or Mostly Harmless," a reference to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series.
[edit] Letsdeletethis
[edit] Titsofdeath
Aside from the apparentlackoftheuseofaspacebar, this does get a couple of Googles. No allmusic at all. Your comments, ladies and gentlemen? - Lucky 6.9 05:22, 9 December 2005 (UTC)
- Thisgroupdoesnotmeettherequirementsof WP:MUSIC eventhoughtheyapparentlydodoabitoftouring. Mo0[talk] 05:48, 9 December 2005 (UTC)
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.
[edit] Paulo Fontaine
Paulo Fontaine is a popularly missappropriated pseudonym for the former labour MP for Walsall South, Jonty(the name having wrongly become more of a generic term for incompetant politicians). Jonty suffered the ignominy of being the first MP to be expelled from the chamber in 10 years after launching a stream of non-sensicle and irrelavent rhetoric at the first downsyndrome priminister Ian Smith( this included various references to the PMs admitidley comical speaking voice and ended with him labeling the PM a 'Chinaman'). He has also invited the scorn of the animal rights group PETA on numerous occasions for his appropriation of a 'coonskin cap as a vote winner, although when celebrity PETA supporter Morrissey was asked of his views on the subject he conceded that the cap was a 'legitimate political device'. In return Jonty admitted his admiration for Morrissey's former band the Smiths, and to the astonishment of the Fleet street press revealed that his ringtone was the Morrissey favourite 'Last of the Famous International Playboys'.
[edit] Butt Itches
The Story Of Butt Itches: It was Butt Itches first day at pokemon daycare the daycare lady asked all of the pokemon to introduce themselves Butt Itches was first.He said his name was Butt Itches then all the pokemon said "then scratch it!"
[edit] Professor Plum
This is the character most widely suspected as the murderer in the popular board game cluedo, although in actual fact the chance of any one character being the murderer is equal if determined by an unbiast dealer. It has also been noted in Cluedo circles that should there be a nuclear war Plum would be the character most ready to weather the ensuing apocalypse.
sorry
[edit] From Idiot
Idiots include: People you do not like, dispise, hate, consider to be imbusils, and other things.
- e.g. people who spell imbeciles incorrectly
- Not to mention "despise"
- And people who write ambiguous sentences - try "People you despise, hate... ...or do not like"
[edit] From Mental Retardation
Mental Retardation exists in an array a states,ranging from type 1 herpes to AIDS.
Generic Spaco behaivior is the main sign of Retardedness
What happened to Carson. Sadly :-( Carson's so stupid, he attempted to solve a 12 variable system of equations by substitution rather than by simply using matrices. oooooh dissss...
Since you're looking at Wikipedia... You ARE a retard, k'thanks.
Recently, there has been an a large public outcry from citizens finally admitting to suffering from mental retardation. Some famous instances of this include the admittance of every member of the popular rock act The Nellis Complex. Clearly mental redartion does not prevent musical success.
[edit] From New York City
[edit] Fairies
Many private fairies are run by NY Waterway, which provides several lines across the Hudson River, New York Water Taxi, with lines connecting Brooklyn and Manhattan, and other operators.
[edit] From George W. Bush
The following infobox is a compilation of reverted edits.
 |
|
| Term of office | {{{date1}}} – {{{date2}}} |
| Preceded by | Bill Jefferson Clinton |
| Dead or alive | Alive |
| Date of Death | December 9th, 2005 |
| Place of Death | Pretzel Wagon |
| Religion | Scientologist |
| Vice President | Richard B. Cheney |
Born as a baby to a family of wildebeasts, George started to make his life in the jungle at a early age. Through hard times in the jungle, he survived by moving in with a family of sloths where he became good at hanging on trees for long periods of time. He also learned how to become a terrible president. Bush moved to Zaire and fell in love with a handsome rhino named laura. He than moved to the united states and became president.
From 1985 to 1930 bc, Bush served as Cheif exsecutive of the State of Chicago. A lifelong member of the Republican Party, Bush was a busyman before entering Iraq. He helped found the failed Butt-Buster and later became a managing partner in the Texas Rhodehouses club team. Bush was elected the 46th Governor of France in 1994 and was re-elected in 1998. He won the Republican nomination in the 2000 presidential hoohah and was elected Principle of the Carlyle High School.
[edit] This Article Has Been Heavily Vandalized
[edit] from leet
| Leet(1337) | ||
|---|---|---|
| Pronunciation: | IPA: l33t | |
| Created by: | — | |
| Total signers: | — | |
| Ranking: | language's ranking in the 'list of languages by number of native speakers' | |
| Category (purpose): | whatever you want to say | |
| Writing system: | the writing system(s) used to represent the language | |
| Regulated by: | 73h 1n73rw38z | |
| Language codes | ||
| ISO 639-1: | le | |
| ISO 639-2: | 17 | |
| ISO/DIS 639-3: | either: | |
[edit] From Silly hat club
The Silly hat club, also known as the 'Silly Hat Cul--no, wait, it's a Club' is an orginization currently run out of upstate New York, in addition to having a small off-shoot chapter in New Paltz, New York. It is a satirical religion similar to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, the Invisible Pink Unicorn and Last Thursdayism, although the High Priestess replied to the title of 'parody' with outrage, saying: 'I was going to put that in later.'
Their motto is 'Semper excors petatus sumus,' which is roughly translatable to, 'Always we are the foolish wide-brimmed felt hat.' It has been said by a Mostly Worthwile Underling that grammatic incorrectness only adds to the overall Sillyness of the phrase, as well as the fact that it is in Latin; as everyone knows, this is a dead language.
While the exact date of the foundation is not known except to the highest members of the Silly Hierarchy, one of the High Priestesses has been quoted as saying, 'There has always been an underground Cult of the Silly Hat,' recalling the Spanish Inquisition Hats and Tudor-style headdresses. It is widely accepted that the Silly Hats have been going on secretly for what may well be millenia.
Widely accepted as the hardest to advance on (and yet most volatile) levels of religious iniation world-wide, the Silly Levels of Iniation are, to date, as follows:
- Worthless Underling
- Partially Worthwile Underling
- Mostly Worthwile Underling
- (99% Worthwile Underling or a "Niner")
- Lackey
- Minion
- Humble Servant
- Ultra-lowly Devotee
- Meta-lowly Devotee
- Quasi-lowly Devotee
- Vassal
- Protege
- Under-Priest/ess
- Plain ol' Priest/ess
- High Priest/ess
Currently, most Silly Hat Meetings are held at the closet Denny's, which has been named as the Temple of the Silly Hat. The High Priestess has said that it is a place where Silly Sustinence is served. The Denny's officials were unavailable for comment on this surprise endorsement.
An official Silly Website is forthcoming.
[edit] From User:Klum (initial edit)
You know you shouldn't have this user name useless your actually Heidi Klum right. And if you are I didn't mean to offend you. Good luck with seal!
[edit] From 2005 Hemel Hempstead fuel depot explosions
Today at 89:00 PM, Our Sun God Tirakh granted us one more ear of corn for our daily meals. He wants to please us while keeping order over all the lands of, uhm, your mom! Yeah! Your momma's so fat, a nurse wants her for dinner?
Anyway, we <3 Tirakh
[edit] From Koosh ball
The Koosh ball had waning popularity in the mid-nineties for two unrelated reasons.
First, the Koosh ball began to have a high incidence rate in cases of asphyxiation. At first, these cases were limited to small children, who, in the course of playing with the toy with another child, suffocated to death, but later, when parents and later the mafia realized the suffocating ability of the Koosh, they began using it for crime-related activities. Used as a gag, the Koosh has the interesting property that the more noise one makes, the further down the esophagus it travels, leading to increased blockage of the airway. As these incidents both accidental and otherwise were reported, the company (Koosh International) did an actuarial investigation leading to the conclusion that the toy needed to be discontinued. They also launched an international operation to collect the Kooshes back. The two-phase operation consisted of a first phase focusing on going to garage sales, buying back the Koosh, and incinerating them, while the second was disguised as a worldwide used-toy collecting service. Through the outgrowth of this second Koosh-collecting phase, Koosh International now operates as a non-profit organization dedicated to redistributing clothes (and land in some countries were feudalism is still present).
The second reason the Koosh declined in popularity was because of the sudden and immediate impact one man named Kush had on American popular culture. After having his legs amputated in the first Gulf War, Kush returned home to America looking to continue his once promising career as a backup dancer in the on-ice version of The Little Mermaid. After several unsuccessful attempts at trying out using a bobsled-type device, he gave up and instead focused on a wheelchair-breakdancing career. The combination of his keen political awareness and sweet dance moves lead many to regard him as "dancing FDR." Koosh International, wishing to sever the image of its product from an image of physical inability, sought to discontinue the product.
[edit] From the revision history of John Seigenthaler Sr.
- (cur) (last) 23:57, 11 December 2005 Capitallinin m (Reverted edits by Albanyepsilo to last version by Hemoglobincr)
- (cur) (last) 23:56, 11 December 2005 SeoulAlbania m (Reverted edits by Cleverlyopac to last version by Denudeportal)
- (cur) (last) 23:56, 11 December 2005 Conversation m (Reverted edits by Bucklingcell to last version by Interrelatin)
- (cur) (last) 23:55, 11 December 2005 Snakesfetter m (Reverted edits by Outfitabbrev to last version by Icelandicinv)
- (cur) (last) 23:55, 11 December 2005 SeoulAlbania m (Reverted edits by Cozyderision to last version by Relaxernomin)
- (cur) (last) 23:55, 11 December 2005 Capitallinin m (Reverted edits by Dukeethical to last version by Pleasedassor)
- (cur) (last) 23:49, 11 December 2005 Canderson7 m (Reverted edits by 67.174.63.11 (talk) to last version by Canderson7)
[edit] From Chronikkah
Chronikkah is celebrated for eight days and nights, starting on the 25th of Kislev on the Hebrew calendar (which is November-December on the Gregorian calendar). In Hebrew, the word "Chronikkah" means "Dank."
The holiday originated when Judah the Maccabee and his followers reclaimed the temple in the village of Modi'in from Syrian King Antiochus IV. The temple was cleansed and prepared for rededication. When the sacred temples Chronrah (Pipe) was relit, there was only enough sacred Chronic to smoke for one day. Yet, according to tradition, the Chronic miraculously lasted eight days until danker Chronic could be found.
In remembrance, a bowl from the Chronrah is smoked each of the eight days of Chronikkah. For every day of Chronikkah you pack another bowl untill the 8th day when you smoke all 8 bowls from the Chronrah.
A newer tradition in the United States is the baking of Chronic cookies in the shape of Chronikkah symbols while relating the stories. Children delight in helping and learn as they create, too.
A Chronrah [[1]]
Usually people that do not participate in the worldly event known as Chronikkah start transforming into con-women ( such as the one above.) These people are known to go into fits of worldly anger known well by only those that experience the anger that is "ragerad" If you come close to one of these mystical beasts, be prepared to pull out your Chronrah, and smite the evil foe. The conwoman also feeds off of dress's and shopping, so much so that his only viable option for cloth wear is that of a womans dress, one that shows way too much of any man, especially the one in the aformentioned picture
[edit] From the Block log
- 12:00, 12 December 2005 Grutness blocked "User:202.180.83.6" with an expiry time of 15 minutes (vandalism (block going back on))
- 12:00, 12 December 2005 Grutness unblocked User:Grutness (d'oh. wrong. try again)
- 11:58, 12 December 2005 Grutness blocked "User:Grutness" with an expiry time of 15 minutes (vandalism (block going back on))
[edit] From the history of the The Locust.
Apparently The Locust's are a band...
- (cur) (last) 18:14, 5 December 2005 205.202.120.210 (okay, last one. somebody really hates this band!)
- (cur) (last) 18:09, 5 December 2005 205.202.120.210 (woops, missed the reference to 'shitty noise' on the first line. not sure what to replace it with, so i just took it out. thoughts?)
- (cur) (last) 18:07, 5 December 2005 205.202.120.210 (Some NPOV stuff, lots of references to "worthless shit", basically just some vandalism reversal)
[edit] from Fork (disambiguation)
- Bicycle fork, the part of a bicycle to which the front wheel is generally attached. Rarely, a fork used for eating bicycles.
[edit] From Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo
The "Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo" was created by history teachers in 1983 to give them something else foolish to teach students. The Mexican Cession was actually obtained by the United States as a prize for winning an international Scrabble tournament. The final word they used was guacamole, also gleaning them the coveted fifty extra points for using all their letters. The country we played in the finals was South Africa, who would've won had Team America not put laxatives in their Jolt cola.
[edit] Shostavich
Headline text
shostavich was born in some time between 604 and 17857632146547354531487365471653746257465237465213 he started to plai da pianeo at agi 7 he wase vry stuped and retarded
[edit] From Nehru
Important Message Notice to an anonymous USER
It is brought to your notice that India has a law relating to cyber crime. This law is based on the Model Law on Electronic Commerce (and other activities) prepared by the United Nations Commission on International Trade Law (UNCITRAL) which was adopted by the UN General Assembly on 30 January 1997. Currently, the Information Technology Act 2000 is in force in India.
This Act does not take citizenship into account. It applies to any offence or contravention committed inside or outside India by any person [Section 1(2)] irrespective of his nationality, if his/her conduct constitutes the offence or contravention involves a computer, computer system or network located in India. Your various recent actions involving Wikipedia and the Users of Wikipedia tantamount to “offences” under sections 65 to 74 of the said Information Technology Act 2000.
You may note that any person adjudicated to have committed offences under the said Act is liable to be punished with imprisonment, extending up to three years, or is liable to pay fine and damages upto Indian Rupees 10000000 (200000 USD).
Accordingly, you put you on notice and you are alerted that in case you continue to commit offences under the said Act, a group of affected parties (read Users of Wikipedia) may be constrained to file criminal proceedings against you in a special cyber police cell in India. The responsibility and all consequences shall rest with you.--Legal Notice 14:36, 12 Jun 2005 (UTC)
[edit] Jamie Tuffield
Jamie Tuffield, although only 16 years of age, has appeared in many productions put on at his school, the most recent of which was Romeo & Juliet. Before this he appeared in his school's adaptation of the musical Oliver! In 2005 he appeared in the pilot episode of the Channel 4 sketch show, Warning: May Contain Nuts, directed by the acclaimed Garald S Kirk, a man notorious for his collection of provocative hatwear. The show was written by Kirk and Tuffield themselves, as well as fellow script writers Captain Bob Paterson, a man of a piratey persuasion, and Salysten David, who recently won the "Sexiest Man of the Year" award for the fifth consequtive year. The pilot episode has been singled out for several prestigious awards, including a Nobel Peace Prize. Kirk commented, in the only interview about the show so far, "Although on the surface it seems to be a show based around loose stereotypes and worn out visual gags, the show has underlying themes of love, hope and belief in a righteous path through a world ravashed by betrayal and pain. Plus, there is lots of gratutious nudity for you to enjoy!". Tuffield added, "I myself particuarly enjoyed participating in the scene where a Gay Pride Parade goes terribly wrong. I feel that if more shows continued in this fashion, world hunger would be wiped out in a matter of weeks, nay days!". During the interview, Paterson repeatedly shouted out "Yargh!", fueling rumours he is a direct blood relative of Blackbeard the pirate, or possibly the great-great-great grandfather of his cabin boy. Scholars researching family trees are yet to prove this rumour. Also during the interview, conducted in a Zoo next to the ice cream stand for artistic reasons, David looked ever so sizzlingly rambunctious. He is also the subject of speculation, and is rumoured to be dating fifteen celebrity supermodels at once, none of which are yet to be named and/or proved to exist. With such attention paid to the show before a single real episode has been made, many people now assume that the show will never really come, and the pilot episode was just a sham to donate all your money in order to reach a false enlightenment. However, there is nudity. In an interview with unimportant extra Nathan Page, which was carried out only after he made threats involving horrifically painful deaths, we discover that he would "do absolutely anything for that man Jamie Tuffield!". These things included: Stripping, eating a bicycle, and possibly kissing his head teacher Mr X. "OOOO i do love that Jamie Tuffield" he said, before dashing off to the ice cream stand.
[edit] From Flat felix
Flat Felix is a three piece pop-punk band out of Liverpool, UK. The band comprises of Robert Birtles (Guitars/Vocals) John Morris (Bass/Vocals) & Dan Kelly (Drums). Started in late 2004, the members met while working at a local music store. With a mutual feeling of dissatisfaction with the Liverpool music scene, Rob and John began practicing together covering bands such as Blink-182 & Green day, before recruiting Dan and beginning to write their own songs toward the end of 2004. February 2005 brought the bands first public performance, headlining at Heaven N Hell, Liverpool with support from My Pet Junkie among others. Since then the band has been preparing to record its first demo EP, and begin touring the United Kingdom.
Latest News:
In late 2005 Rob became a father when he adopted 17 South Korean lepers, willing to work for a minimal fee (a tangerine, a bucket of Vimto and a hug each day) the lepers plan to one day control western Europe under the guise of an independant ice(d) cream conglomerate.
John, meanwhile, has been traversing the Congo, searching for his long lost trinket, the fabled "Cradle Of Solaths Metasphere", a momento from his days as a buddist fisherman/cock fighter/superhero deluxe. Long ago he was given the artifact after saving the life of an elderly priest, (who, incedentely, found fame as BBC host Moira Stewart, who can be seen here, airbrushed ofcourse) http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40296000/jpg/_40296327_stewart220.jpg
Dan howover, has not fared so well, alas it is my terribly sad duty to inform all Flat Felix fans that our beloved Dan passed away, offcially losing his long battle with the goblins of "stunningly attractive goblin realm 4" at 3:48am, Saturday 5th 1842... Fortunately, he had recently discovered how to re-animate a body after death, a quite simple procedure involving performing fellatio upon oneself (autofellatio) each day for 6.35 years before death. He is now back with the band, although his time in the ground has shown him a new path in life, he now wishes to elope to Chile, to train as a professional fellatio master of doom.
(c) Megabob Industries (of Doom)
[edit] From "Literature", in 50 Cent
He really wrote this book on the time that he got anti-hetero with Tony Yayo, his life-partner. Afterwards it was found out that Yayo became pregnant with 50's first child, Dom DeLouise. After 50 got signed he made a few childrens programs on public stations. His most memorable was Play Time Witta' Wanksta. After 2 great seaons his show was canceled. Meanwhile his rap career was going nowhere. His first single off of the album Wet Fish or Pan Fryin,the song was Tuna-Thug Fo' Real bombed in the Billboards. He then went into a slump. But he took his emotions and love of pretending he was a piece of bread in a club sandwich and came out with In da Club. His song was a hit, but he felt people didn't understand it and instead mistook it for a song about partying. He then came out with his next single off of his new album that truly exemplified his love of bodegas, Candy Shop. Again though he knew people couldn't get the real meaning out of it. He then cloned himself in late 2004 and then had his clone kill the real 50.
[edit] From Abraham Lincoln
(Note: this text appears to be based on Uncyclopedia:Abraham Lincoln)
Abe Lincoln, sometime before his timely and historic death.
President Lincoln shown here making an appearance on the USS Enterprise after a victorious war against Quebec.Abraham "Doom" Lincoln (born Sidney D. Casey) (497-1861) was the 27th president of the United States, the third president of the Mexican Republic of Mexico, relentless space pirate, acclaimed samurai ninja, and the founding father of the Rock Group "Electric Six". Lincoln is also famous for writing the song Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, which was later adapted by Tupac in his recent album Straight Outta Death.
Being accepted as one of America's tallest Presidents, Lincoln is therefore accepted as one of America's greatest Presidents. A great strategist, Lincoln reportedly made sure that tall lecterns were installed on the stage wherever he debated an opponent, thereby ensuring that the audience couldn't actually see his opponent, let alone hear him.
A Republican, he is a hero to the current-day "NeoCon", although some, such as George W Bush's political adviser Karl Rove, believe that the whole "Abolish Slavery" thing was way too liberal.
Lincoln is also the first US president to become an automobile, a feat which was not repeated at least until the Gerald Ford era. The first Lincoln automobile was built by a German immigrant mechanic, Leland, who named the car for the first person he'd voted for in America. Lincoln is also credited with the creation of the top hat and jerkcity.
Lincoln was assassinated due to his lack of chigginess.Lincoln was microwaved at 50% power for 5 minutes and then heated at 350 degrees for 30 minutes while placed directly on the center oven rack by Lee Harvey Oswald while watching a show at Ford's Theater. Unfortunately for Oswald, he failed to remove Lincoln's plastic wrapper and the President was rendered inedible, and stank up the theatre with a smell of burnt grains and plastic. Oswald was later put to death by chocolate in Council Bluffs, Iowa, where Lincoln had previously eaten nonpareils and black squirrel pie during a visit.
It should be noted that a week before their respected shootings, President Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland while President Kennedy was in Marylin Monroe.
Lincoln being pwned by an unknown n00b. OMFG.[edit]Religion Although little is known about Lincoln's religious beliefs, he is thought to have been a Jew, since he was shot in the temple. Current textbooks suggest that Lincoln was not murdered, but was killed as a favor in order to spare him from the lingering death of monkeypox.
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